MOVarazzi

Thursday, May 31, 2012

784. Muse Shows Up For A Job Interview

“What are you doing?” I hiss at Muse, “You look ridiculous!” 

“I read your blog, and that was totally funny, the whole flight attendant/ interview thing, so I thought I would get a job as a flight attendant, too!”  She smiled wide, her perfect teeth glistening like giant Arctic Polar bear fangs, only prettier.  And pointier. 
“Muse, if you had bothered to read the entire post, it was a flashback.  I didn’t go to that job interview yesterday, I went to it when I was, like, 23.  Get a grip.” 

“Who cares?  I think it would be a fun job.  I know they would hire me.  You said something in your blog about ‘looking the part’ so I thought I would wear this cute little dress.  Do I look like a Sky Goddess?” 
“They don’t call them that anymore.  You need to learn the current politically correct lingo.  They call them stewardesses.  Wait, no, I mean flight attendants.” 

“Whatever.  Do you think I might meet some cute pilot?” 
Oh, God, here we go.  How to tell Muse that most pilots are total geeks? 

“Muse, I have something to tell—”
“I would looooooovvvvvvvve to meet some hot, geeky pilot!  Rarh!  I just love their dorky haircuts!  Yes.” 


Muse grinned wickedly. 

“Muse, no.  I don’t think the hostile skies are the right place for you.” 
“Hostile?  I thought they were supposed to be friendly?” 

“Muse, seriously.  They do a background check.  You have a jail record, remember?” 
“Oh, that?  You’re still hung up on that?  No one cares about jail anymore, MOV, jail is so passé.  We are all about second chances.”  She nodded solemnly. 

“Yeah, uh, no.  No one is gonna hire you.  Especially in that get-up.  What is this—1962?” 
Just then, her iPhone rang.  The ring tone was Devo’s “Whip It.”  I can’t say that I was surprised. 

“Hello, Muse here.”
“Mrh   jruhqiuwzd  aosdhoq3trhiqeui  asdoirhjqotrhuiqoh.” 

“Yes, uh, huh, go on …” 
“kjerhiu3 bhdizre wqiweuti3uijsdgjkeqhrt …”

“Okay, sure, what does that mean?” 
“Pkeajbhfriuqeksdj agieqriu3e akjgtnie eetohnwei.”  

“Got it.  Right.  Thanks!” 
“Muse, who was that?” 

“Delta Airlines!  I have a new job!” 
(to be continued ... )


MOV    
(“Muse’s Original Victim”)

18 comments:

  1. Hysterical! I love your Muses' attitude and how you react to it.

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    1. thanks, Gina! Maybe I should have Muse do a Costco run, no? Would love to see her pushing around one of those flat-bed cart things and accidentally running into people. Hmmmmmm.

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  2. Too funny! Can't wait to read the rest!

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  3. This will go well with her vagabond ways! Wait... is Muse good at hiding the fact that she's drunk? I feel like her success will hinge on that.

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    1. Haley, Muse is very good at hiding the fact that she's drunk. Who do you think taught her?!?

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  4. I know that I wouldn't be able to even pretend that anyone would be excited about re-living my own past adventures. I don't know how you can do it.

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    1. It's a curse. And a gift. A gifted curse.

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  5. Hehehehe, god I'd hire her! how gorgeous can you get? This is when you say that it's you...

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    1. It IS me! Yes! I am Kate Muse!

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  6. You are too funny. Maybe I could borrow your muse for career counseling.

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    1. She's a bit schizophrenic for a career counselor, no?

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  7. Man, such a copy-cat. Let's see how long this gig lasts. She's too flighty (pardon the pun) for this job.

    By the way, I loved the phone conversation and the "Whip It" ringtone! Hilarious!

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    1. thanks, couse! that was a fun detail to add. :) glad you noticed.

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  8. I'm too impatient for 'to be continued's' ;even as a child.
    T.V. Mini Series? Forget it! I want it all in one night.

    Can't wait to hear more about Muse.Honestly, in reading this, I felt like I was plopped on a chair witnessing the back and forth banter between the two of you. Entertaining, as always!

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    1. thanks, JR! Definitely appreciate your very kind words.

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  9. Can't wait to read more of the adventures of Muse.

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    1. Oh, she will be back. I promise you that.........

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