Yep. I’m back. It’s really me. Had to think about it for five years, but then I decided to write something. Here goes:
The Husband has always planted vegetables: corn, squash,
zucchini (is that the same as squash, or just sort of a distant
cousin? Who knows), pumpkins, lettuce, tomatoes.
His garden is green and leafy and full of nutritious things;
it makes my friends swoon with jealousy (“MOV, did you
personally grow all that?” Me, without hesitation: “Yes.”)
So it should some as somewhat of a surprise when
The Husband one day woke up and told me:
“This year, I’m planting sunflowers.”
Naturally, I was thrilled. Sunflowers are one of my favorite
kinds of flowers, next to tulips. They are big and bold, and
basically look like if children’s laughter was made of flowers.
Yep, I love them.
Now, in the five years I have not been writing my blog
(and who knows, the next post might take me five more
years to compose, so don’t get your hopes up), I have
gotten into photography. Not Ansel Adams or
Irving Penn-level photography, but (ahem) I have won …
let me just say … I have won EVERY SINGLE
PHOTOGRAPHY CONTEST that I have entered.
That sounds impressive, doesn’t it?
So anyway, like I was saying, I like to take pictures.
Pictures of my kids, pictures of the beach if we go on
vacation, pictures of the dog (we got a dog in the past
five years- who knew I was a dog person?!? Oh and
now I have a part-time job as a dog-walker, so I guess
I need to get you up to speed on a couple things
Standard deviation: here is a pic of the dog:
(Cute, right? He only weighs about 105 pounds-
same as me, I like to say.)
Enough rambling, MOV! Get to the point of the
story already! Gah, writing is harder than I thought,
and I guess I am really rusty.
So. The Husband. The sunflowers. The newfound
interest in photography. (Maybe you know where
this is going because I sure don’t?) One morning I
innocently glance out the window and notice that
the light is what can only be described as magical.
I have to grab my camera RIGHT NOW THIS SECOND.
I walk outside in my jammies and approach the sunflowers.
They are easily three feet taller than I am
(hard to believe, as I am somewhat tallish in real life,
but they dwarf me). I hold my good camera
(as opposed to my phone camera) to my eyeball
and start clicking away.
Unfortunately, due to the inconsiderate shade of a
nearby tree, the sunflowers are turned the wrong
way and do not look good in my pictures. Instead
of being sunny, they are dark. They stubbornly do
not respond to coaxing or bribery like my sons
(“Please please look this way! If you just cooperate
for two pictures, I promise I will take you to the pool
later and we can get ice-cream!”). Nope.
They stay firmly in place (think rooted).
I take matters into my own hands. I walk over and
gently try to adjust the flower. I attempt to turn the
stalk where I need it to be.
No sooner do I touch it, then it snaps off in my hand.
The Husband will not be happy later, I already know.
Not having learned my lesson (gah! The cliches.
Writing really is harder than I remember), I gently
bend another flower to get it into the acceptable
Did I mention his garden only has about three
sunflowers at this early date?
I have destroyed ⅔ of his bounty.
Unfazed (probably due to all that flight attendant
emergency training of what to do in a crisis situation),
I prop the now-dead sunflowers into the general area
of where I need them to be for my picture. Perfect.
Then I start snapping away.
I check my camera, and I am satisfied.
Now I take the remnants of the sunflowers and
internally debate my choices. Leave them
propped up and pretend to be shocked when they
“suddenly” wilt in the next day or two, ultimatley
saying “a fox must have chewed through them”?
Throw them over the fence into the neighbor’s
yard and blame it on a “strong gust of wind”?
In the end, I (stupidly) decide that honesty is the
best policy (more cliches. And spellcheck does
not even know to add and accent to cliche.
I’m sorry). I cut the flowers down even more
and stick them in a vase.
Predictably, The Husband was not pleased upon
his arrival home (“MOV, those are MY flowers!!!
What gives you the right to cut them!!! I can’t
believe you did this!!!”).
By the next day (who am I kidding, month), he
forgot all about my selfish ways, and yes, I got a
pretty good photo out of the deal:
(Thank you for being here, and I will try to write again
if I have anything remotely entertaining to say.)
Ps- first blog back, I had major formatting issues, so if
anyone has advice on that let me know