Ah, yes,
swearing. But they don’t call it
swearing at age eight, they call it “saying a bad word.”
The first
time a child-turned-informant approaches you with such news, you might
(understandably) be taken aback. The
conversation may or may not play out like this:
“Mrs. MOV! Mrs. MOV!
Jacob/ Joshua/ Jack said a bad word!
He said the F-word!”
You might
feel beads of sweat collecting on your forehead. You might wonder to yourself exactly what
kind of television shows second-graders (second-graders!) are watching nowadays
to have ever been exposed to the F-word.
You might
try to act calm. You are the adult, after
all. You might try not to panic. You might mentally give yourself a little pep
talk and tell yourself to take a deep breath.
“Okay, Emily/ Emma/ Elizabeth, can you please whisper to me the word he said?”
You might
lean down to the height of the tiny girl as she cups her itty-bitty hand over
her mouth close to your ear. Then she
might clearly enunciate a word, a word you were not really expecting, a word
that you never thought you would be so happy to hear:
“Fart.”
Oh, okay, of
course.
If you are
around children of this age group for more than one day, your “bad word”
repertoire might expand. You might learn
an entirely new language, a language you were previously unfamiliar with. Here are some more words you might
learn:
- The D-word: Dummy
- The S-word: Stupid
- The C-word: Ca-ca
- The
H-word: Homework
MOV
Cute. When I that age, my friends' brothers were using the S-word as listed above. They must have been about five years old.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my friends and I were a very righteous group of girls - and so conscientiously took charge of the situation. We threatened to force them to eat green chillies if they didn't stop with the bad words.
They didn't stop.
We tied them down and shoved chillies down their little throats.
lol I should turn this into a post - I had completely forgotten about it! Thanks lol
Bozo,
DeleteThat might work. Would the school fire a substitute teacher for making kids eat hot chilis? Hmmmmmm.
best,
MOV
I am so totally over the H word, on school break for meeeeeeeeeeeee
ReplyDeleteHi Tuna!!! How have you been! come back, get caught up on my blog! Missed you!!!!!!!!!
Deletebest,
MOV
Fun post! I'm dreading the day when my kids come to me with their "bad" words...
ReplyDeleteDana,
DeleteThank you. We had a friend whose 3-year-old son could NOT say the words "Dump truck." He kept saying "Dumb you-can-guess-the-word." They got it on video!!!
best,
MOV
LOVED this post!I have both sets of bad words in my house, since my children range in age from 18-5.
ReplyDeleteI will take Fart over F**K any day :)
Super cute post, loved this one.
J.R.,
DeleteThanks so much for reading my blog and posting! Nice to see you here. Glad you liked this one. :)
best,
MOV
Very cute post. I wouldn't be surprised though, if the F word wouldn't have been the REAL f-word, even in the case of an 8 year old. It is EVERYWHERE!!! Still very funny...dummy, caca, stupid and homework. HHHAAAAA
ReplyDeleteCheryl,
DeleteThank you. Yeah, why IS that word everywhere? What is going on with our society?
best,
MOV
hahaha. That was funny. F word. But those two words have been used by comedians alltime and though I never found both of them funny.
ReplyDeleteme and my thinking cap,
DeleteI think words can be funnier if you allude to them.....
best,
MOV
My kids like to clarify between the S-word and the S-H-word.
ReplyDeleteAnd by S-H, they mean Shut Up.
I fell for it the first time.
Number Whisperer,
DeleteHa! Love this. And what kind of numbers exactly do you whisper? I like to whisper my bank balance: "Negative $32. Overdrawn again......."
best,
MOV
HA! I love this. Not at all looking forward to my boys bringing these words home, but for now I'll just enjoy reading about your experience... Great blog. So glad you stopped by mine so we could "meet". :)
ReplyDeleteChristy,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to comment. I hope you come back to read more!!
best,
MOV
My kid's 2 and they already stand for the something elses. *Bad parents*
ReplyDeleteAmelia,
DeleteRot-row........
best,
MOV
NY kids, forever, thought the "S" swear was "Shut up or Stupid". Cute.
ReplyDeleteGina,
DeleteAnd which words were they uttering when you forced them to dumpster dive and they got stung by bees???
:)
best,
MOV
I am an English tutor for a 5th grader, and whenever we play Boggle he is quick to find the S word-- the real one. Thank goodness he just whispers it and giggles!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog!
Jillian,
DeleteI never thought about finding those words when playing Boggle. Boggle is dangerous!
best,
MOV
It seems children will continue to learn what we teach them? ":) Great post!
ReplyDeleteHi Ray (tell me if I can call you Ray),
DeleteThank you!!! Thanks for stopping by again. :)
best,
MOV
My son did that to me one time. He came over and said his brother (3 years old) said the S word. My heart stopped at first. Then he whispered it to me, and I realized he meant Stupid and I was soooo relieved.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, the H word in my house is Hate.
Misty,
DeleteOh, yes, forgot about that "H" word. My younger son thinks "Whatever" is a bad word (apparently his teacher forbids the kids from saying it!).
best,
MOV
Unfortunately, living in super-low class Oklahoma, more often than not the words kids tell me they've heard are actual swears. Sigh. Having a five year old tell you that a boy 'called her the P word' is always unnerving.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
DeleteYikes. I'm sorry. (I am assuming the "P" word in this case is not Queen Virgo's mantra of "perfect, perfect, perfect.")
best,
MOV
I always thought my bro-in-law was a little too liberal with his kids but always defended him. Needless to say, I couldn't think of any reasonable excuse when my little nephew showed up for Easter lunch wearing a baseball cap that said *P*I*M*P . Thank God, my gran's lost most of her eyesight or she'd have had a heart attack!
ReplyDeleteicyHighs,
DeleteOh my goodness! And what about the pants that little girls wear with words on the behind? The only words I want back there are "Levi's" or "Yes, she lost 10 pounds."
best,
MOV
You've been listening in at my house again, haven't you? The other night Boy 2 (4 years old) simply announced "idiotic ninconpoop!" When I explained that "idiot" was not a very nice word he and his brother looked confused. So, I said, "it's another word for. . . (whispered in very hushed tones). . . stupid." *GASP* That ended that.
ReplyDeleteIf "fart" really were a swear word I would have the most foul-mouthed children on the planet. Fart is one of their favorite words and activities!
Couse,
DeleteBoys...........
best,
MOV
ps-- I have found myself correcting Tall when he calls Short an "idiot"-- "Honey, I think the word you really wanted to use is jerk." *good mommy*
Unfortunately I have heard the other F-word being used by children as young as 8 or 9 in the playground near my home.
ReplyDeleteKait,
DeleteDo you live in the bad section of Oklahoma near Anonymous, by any chance??????
best,
MOV
ps-- if yes, time to move. You can swear in Hawaii too you know.