MOVarazzi

Saturday, April 28, 2012

757. Swear Words: A Primer

If you find yourself in a situation where you are around elementary-aged children, perhaps in a school environment, you will notice that they might seek you out as an adult authority figure to inform you of various infractions made by their peers.  Typical infractions involve (but are not limited to) hitting, pushing, cutting in line, talking too loud, not doing their work, and swearing. 

Ah, yes, swearing.  But they don’t call it swearing at age eight, they call it “saying a bad word.” 
The first time a child-turned-informant approaches you with such news, you might (understandably) be taken aback.  The conversation may or may not play out like this:    

“Mrs. MOV!  Mrs. MOV!  Jacob/ Joshua/ Jack said a bad word!  He said the F-word!” 
You might feel beads of sweat collecting on your forehead.  You might wonder to yourself exactly what kind of television shows second-graders (second-graders!) are watching nowadays to have ever been exposed to the F-word.    

You might try to act calm.  You are the adult, after all.  You might try not to panic.  You might mentally give yourself a little pep talk and tell yourself to take a deep breath.  “Okay, Emily/ Emma/ Elizabeth, can you please whisper to me the word he said?” 
You might lean down to the height of the tiny girl as she cups her itty-bitty hand over her mouth close to your ear.  Then she might clearly enunciate a word, a word you were not really expecting, a word that you never thought you would be so happy to hear:

“Fart.” 
Oh, okay, of course.    

If you are around children of this age group for more than one day, your “bad word” repertoire might expand.  You might learn an entirely new language, a language you were previously unfamiliar with.  Here are some more words you might learn:  
  • The D-word:  Dummy
  • The S-word:  Stupid
  • The C-word:  Ca-ca
  • The H-word:  Homework
You might drive home and tell your husband about the new words you have learned.  And you might share a good laugh, a laugh of temporary relief, because you both know that when these kids are teenagers, the words will stand for something else. 

MOV

34 comments:

  1. Cute. When I that age, my friends' brothers were using the S-word as listed above. They must have been about five years old.

    Anyway, my friends and I were a very righteous group of girls - and so conscientiously took charge of the situation. We threatened to force them to eat green chillies if they didn't stop with the bad words.

    They didn't stop.

    We tied them down and shoved chillies down their little throats.

    lol I should turn this into a post - I had completely forgotten about it! Thanks lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bozo,

      That might work. Would the school fire a substitute teacher for making kids eat hot chilis? Hmmmmmm.

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  2. I am so totally over the H word, on school break for meeeeeeeeeeeee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tuna!!! How have you been! come back, get caught up on my blog! Missed you!!!!!!!!!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  3. Fun post! I'm dreading the day when my kids come to me with their "bad" words...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dana,

      Thank you. We had a friend whose 3-year-old son could NOT say the words "Dump truck." He kept saying "Dumb you-can-guess-the-word." They got it on video!!!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  4. LOVED this post!I have both sets of bad words in my house, since my children range in age from 18-5.

    I will take Fart over F**K any day :)

    Super cute post, loved this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J.R.,

      Thanks so much for reading my blog and posting! Nice to see you here. Glad you liked this one. :)

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  5. Very cute post. I wouldn't be surprised though, if the F word wouldn't have been the REAL f-word, even in the case of an 8 year old. It is EVERYWHERE!!! Still very funny...dummy, caca, stupid and homework. HHHAAAAA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheryl,

      Thank you. Yeah, why IS that word everywhere? What is going on with our society?

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  6. hahaha. That was funny. F word. But those two words have been used by comedians alltime and though I never found both of them funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me and my thinking cap,

      I think words can be funnier if you allude to them.....

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  7. My kids like to clarify between the S-word and the S-H-word.

    And by S-H, they mean Shut Up.

    I fell for it the first time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Number Whisperer,

      Ha! Love this. And what kind of numbers exactly do you whisper? I like to whisper my bank balance: "Negative $32. Overdrawn again......."

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  8. HA! I love this. Not at all looking forward to my boys bringing these words home, but for now I'll just enjoy reading about your experience... Great blog. So glad you stopped by mine so we could "meet". :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christy,

      Thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope you come back to read more!!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  9. My kid's 2 and they already stand for the something elses. *Bad parents*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amelia,

      Rot-row........

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  10. NY kids, forever, thought the "S" swear was "Shut up or Stupid". Cute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gina,

      And which words were they uttering when you forced them to dumpster dive and they got stung by bees???

      :)

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  11. I am an English tutor for a 5th grader, and whenever we play Boggle he is quick to find the S word-- the real one. Thank goodness he just whispers it and giggles!

    Love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jillian,

      I never thought about finding those words when playing Boggle. Boggle is dangerous!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  12. It seems children will continue to learn what we teach them? ":) Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ray (tell me if I can call you Ray),

      Thank you!!! Thanks for stopping by again. :)

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  13. My son did that to me one time. He came over and said his brother (3 years old) said the S word. My heart stopped at first. Then he whispered it to me, and I realized he meant Stupid and I was soooo relieved.

    Although, the H word in my house is Hate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty,

      Oh, yes, forgot about that "H" word. My younger son thinks "Whatever" is a bad word (apparently his teacher forbids the kids from saying it!).

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  14. Unfortunately, living in super-low class Oklahoma, more often than not the words kids tell me they've heard are actual swears. Sigh. Having a five year old tell you that a boy 'called her the P word' is always unnerving.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous,

      Yikes. I'm sorry. (I am assuming the "P" word in this case is not Queen Virgo's mantra of "perfect, perfect, perfect.")

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  15. I always thought my bro-in-law was a little too liberal with his kids but always defended him. Needless to say, I couldn't think of any reasonable excuse when my little nephew showed up for Easter lunch wearing a baseball cap that said *P*I*M*P . Thank God, my gran's lost most of her eyesight or she'd have had a heart attack!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. icyHighs,

      Oh my goodness! And what about the pants that little girls wear with words on the behind? The only words I want back there are "Levi's" or "Yes, she lost 10 pounds."

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  16. You've been listening in at my house again, haven't you? The other night Boy 2 (4 years old) simply announced "idiotic ninconpoop!" When I explained that "idiot" was not a very nice word he and his brother looked confused. So, I said, "it's another word for. . . (whispered in very hushed tones). . . stupid." *GASP* That ended that.

    If "fart" really were a swear word I would have the most foul-mouthed children on the planet. Fart is one of their favorite words and activities!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couse,

      Boys...........

      best,
      MOV
      ps-- I have found myself correcting Tall when he calls Short an "idiot"-- "Honey, I think the word you really wanted to use is jerk." *good mommy*

      Delete
  17. Unfortunately I have heard the other F-word being used by children as young as 8 or 9 in the playground near my home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kait,

      Do you live in the bad section of Oklahoma near Anonymous, by any chance??????

      best,
      MOV
      ps-- if yes, time to move. You can swear in Hawaii too you know.

      Delete

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