MOVarazzi

Monday, March 19, 2012

715. I Hate New Blogger

I check my blog approximately 12,000 times per day.  After almost two years of writing in this space, I know the subtle nuances of my Blogger software.  I know how to add a link, and how to add a photo.  I know how to check for comments, and how to edit a previous post.  I am feeling pretty smug in my superior knowledge of all that is computers.  I am Bill Gates. 

One bright morning (a morning that started out with the sun singing happy energizing songs and blowing air kisses to neighborhood bunnies gallivanting by), I had the misfortune of noticing a new teeny-tiny microscopic itty-bitty box next to where I sign in for Blogger.  The box said helpfully, “Try New Blogger now?” 

I was suddenly Alice in Wonderland in Pandora’s Box.  Hmmm.  New Blogger, what is that?  Would I like to try it?  If I try it and don’t like it, surely I can go back to the way things were, right? 

Webster’s dictionary defines try as “To taste, sample, or otherwise test in order to determine strength, effect, worth, or desirability.”  I like Webster’s.  Webster’s is good at clarifying things for me.  
When I go to the mall, I try things on.  I might try on a pair of $500 Manolo Blahniks, but I never actually buy them.  I might try on a sweater that is two sizes too small, but then I hang its stretched out fibers back up on the hanger and scurry out of the changing room without making eye contact with the salesgirl.  Even Baskin-Robbins doesn’t force me to buy a pint of Chunky-Banana-Brownie-Mint-Rainbow-Madness after I innocently try a taster spoon of it and spit it out. 
New Blogger has a different philosophy than those places.  New Blogger operates on one principle and one principle only:  commitment. 
I clicked on “Try New Blogger now?” and was instantaneously transported to the jarring continent of New Blogger, a continent that did not come with a map, passport stamp, nor free bag of stale pretzels. 

“Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” the computer cackled, “You will never get out of this place alive!”

I desperately searched for some sort of button, an escape hatch if you will, that would lead me back to the comfy safe worn-in fuzzy slippers world of Old Blogger.  I’m sorry, Old Blogger!  I wasn’t having an affair with New Blogger!  I only let New Blogger buy me that one drink, and then I gave New Blogger my phone number, but it was for business reasons!  We never even kissed, I promise!
My two years of devotion to Old Blogger evaporated in that one millisecond when my hand guided the mouse up to that innocuous little box and right-clicked on it.
Did I say it was like Pandora’s Box?  I meant Dante’s Inferno and the nine circles of Hell.  Using New Blogger is like going to sleep as one person and waking up as someone else in an entirely different country and not speaking a word of their language and not recognizing the unattractive person lying in bed asleep next to you.  Only it is more disconcerting than that. 
What was on the right is on the left.  What was up top is gone.  The font is different.  Blank lines appear in the middle of your text for no reason.  The screen you think you should click on takes you to the wrong place.  I wander the convoluted underground subway system of New Blogger without the local currency, crying.
In a fit of desperation, I Google “How to get rid of New Blogger,” but almost every single response of the 47,600,00 (I guess I am not the only person this has happened to) involves re-writing HTML code and getting a Master’s degree in Computer Science.  I don’t have that kind of time. 
Dante’s 9th Circle of Hell is betrayal.  The 8th is fraud.  I am tempted to open up my window and push the computer out.  But that would be the 7th Circle of Hell:  violence.  (The 6th Circle is alcohol, but it might be permissible given the circumstances.)    

In the end, I resign myself to my fate:  I am married to New Blogger with no chance of divorce or parole.  Until one day, five years from now, I will notice another little box beckoning, “Try New IMPROVED Blogger?” 
MOV

45 comments:

  1. Personally, I like New Blogger and have been using it for months... but here you go! =)

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    Replies
    1. oh, ellen, just when i was starting to really like you....

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  2. I did that, I got old Blogger back but I don't remember how, as soon as I go to sleep I will remember and I will try to wake up and tell you.

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    1. if you are still asleep, no worries, lily told me! thanks!! :)

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  3. MOV, I too hate the New Blogger, it is U.G.L.Y.

    If I remember correctly, you need to click on the 'Blogger Options' button at the top right corner of the dashboard. It's the gear icon.

    Click on the 'Old Blogger Interface' button from the list and it should automatically take you back to the old one.

    Hope this helps.

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    Replies
    1. oh, lily, I stopped reading and did this right this second and it WORKED!!!!!!!!!! You are my hero!!!!! I love you, thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!

      *cries* happy ending

      xxxxxxxxxooooooooooo
      MOV

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    2. Ha ha ha! No problem MOV, I'm glad I could help! :)

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  4. You had a choice? I just woke up one day and---boom goes the dynamite---it was there. I have adjusted to it, but it took me a few weeks. I still get confused sometimes. The LEAST they could have done was offered some instructions in Chinese or something.

    I think you will get used to it. Just takes time. I'm getting there...

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    1. tracie, gotta admit I'm a wimp. Lily told me how to go back, and I am back to Old Blogger (Old Faithful is more like it.......)

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  5. Okay--go to your dashboard. Up in the top right hand corner is something that looks like a gear. Click it. It will give you the option to go back to the old blogger interface. Voila! (I went back because I couldn't get the new blogger at school. And how will I check 1,372 times a day if I can't get it at school?)

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    1. this is why you are a teacher. because you are smart.

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  6. I'm such a noob I never experienced the old blogger. I think that's probably a good thing if I'd be missing it so much. But to turn off the auto-verification thing, I found that if you go to Settings, and the cog-like symbol on the top-right, there is an option to 'Use Old Blogger Interface' - if that helps.

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    Replies
    1. Should have refreshed the page, really. What Kirby said.

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    2. thanks! my readers are magical wizards!!!

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  7. I had switched several months ago, but they still had some broken piece, so I had switched back to the old system. BUT then last night when I tried to add a blog to my reading list suddenly a new crappy interface shows up that didn't work properly on my iPad. It would not accept a paste of information. After trying to perform the step about seven or eight times it finally worked, but it was ugly.

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    Replies
    1. *gets hives just from reading this*

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  8. I hate change. Actually I don't but that's another story. But I hate sites that force us into change after we get comfy with one way. FB and Blogger seem to be the worst culprits. Could be more, but as I am such an un-techy person, I have no idea. I've seen that button. I've refused that button. Until I get forced into it.

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    Replies
    1. heather, REFUSE THE BUTTON!!!!!!!!!

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  9. I did the same...another "WTF" moment in my life. But like many here, I clicked on some button and was instantaneously transported back to my old blogger dash board. I wish life was that easy...i.e. just clicking a button to do things over in life lolllll....imagine the possibilities, ok, I'm rambling again the coffee is taking affect.....

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    1. oh, the Do-Over. Yes! Let's see, any time I have ever been at a party and inadvertently said the wrong thing to the wrong person, yes, I would love to press the magic do-over or go-back button!!!!!!!

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  10. ok...maybe I did go back in time. I just noticed my post time is 04:46 when it's really 6:46...hmmmm...

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    1. that explains why it looks like so many of my readers are logging in in the middle of the night.....

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  11. I loved this. And I'm glad you got old blogger back. I love old blogger. Old blogger rocks. As does this post.

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    1. thanks for saying this post rocks. it is one of those pieces that wrote itself, barely changed a word in my after-edit process. love that kind of writing.

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  12. strangely, this post is making me want to go find the button and click to try out the new blogger so i can see what everyone's talking about. i like the new fb even though everyone seemed to hate it for a while. maybe i'd like this too.
    however, i'm very happy that you have intelligent readers who can direct you into the version where you can to be. yay for smart people!

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    1. don't do it!!!!!!!!! sherilin, nooooo!!!

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  13. I prefer the old blogger too. I'd tell you how to get it back, but I actually read the other comments this time, so I know that you already did!

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    1. see, 'cause you're a teacher. teacher = smart

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  14. I LOVE new blogger, and have been using it as soon as it was available, it actually does a lot more then the old one. And eventually they are going to phase out the old one completely so you won't have a choice, may as well grt used to it now.

    This will be ike when Facebook changes the template, 3456 bring back the old one groups start up, then 6 months later when they change it again those same people want the old/new hated-at-first one back.

    Honestly, if you gave yourself a few weeks and actually played around to familiarise yourself with it, I bet you would see how much better it really is.

    .....now everyones gonna shoot me down

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    Replies
    1. 1. are you insane?
      2. the thing that bothers me the most is that New Blogger would insert these blank lines everywhere messing up my

      spacing.

      That was totally

      starting to bug




      me.

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  15. I agree with dirtycowgirl, the new blogger is actualyl really clean and organized. I used the old Blogger for years and I really do like the new interface. It loads faster too, which is wonderful for my levels of impatience :)

    It's a shock though, for sure. It takes time to get used to, and I would recommend trying it out again when you *know* you're just trying it. It gets stressful in the scenario you described, and that's not a fun way to learn something new.

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    1. you are right, it is NOT a fun way to learn something new, being thrown into it. Here-- learn how to swim!

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  16. lol I am fortunate to only know old blogger for a short time before new blogger came out, so I have more emotional commitment to new blogger...now if NEWER blogger comes out, I'm screwed.

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  17. Wait, what? There's a new Blogger?

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    Replies
    1. and this is why I love you..........

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  18. Hi, I'm back! Sorry about the Blogger issues, but sounds like you were able to go "retro" and have your life back. :-)

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    1. yay, couse! how was the va-cay? so envious, I want a vacation.

      and yes, I'm retro. I'm so far ahead I'm actually behind! (another t-shirt slogan.........)

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  19. There is one interesting thing with the new blogger having been there twice now. You get thousands of visitors on the visitor counters. I don't know why because it should be the same as the old blogger. But no it spins like a top

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    1. ooh, spins like a top. that sounds like exercise. exercise = bad

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  20. Ugh, I am so with you on this. Making my own post on the issue this week.

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    1. but now you can go back like everyone told me how to do! can't wait to read your post on it. :)

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  21. Help is here!

    http://dave-lucas.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-blogger-interface-problems.html

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  22. By the way Google dumped Friend Connect back in November...

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  23. I have no idea how to post or edit. I can't resize photos to my specifications anymore, and what the edit mode shows is nothing like the way it really ends up as. Do I really have to use html every single time I want to make an alteration that would have taken me seconds the day before? This is terrible! How can I move my blog to a better service?

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)