Oh, they
match all right. Everyone takes me
seriously now.
I go to the
mall and those teeny-bopper kiosk girls shove eye cream samples at me as I walk
by. I go to the doctor and he suggests I
switch to a high-fiber cereal and start working out immediately. I go to Short’s soccer game and I overhear
his coach ask him if that gray-haired lady (me) is his grandmother.
But there is
one place where I always look good, always look young, no matter what: standing next to my brother.
You see, he
is 6’5” and built like a football player.
A very large football player with a nickname like “Tank.” That means when I stand next to him in
pictures I look like Petite Ballerina Barbie in comparison. And since he is so tall, if we happen to take
photos outside, I of course end up in the shade of him (like he is a giant tree
or something) which tends to diminish those troublesome little lines that have
found their way around my eyes and forehead.
I appear shadowy, and as we all know, shadowy = young.
Most
recently I went to England to visit my brother.
He is stationed there in the military.
We took a day trip to Stonehenge and of course took a few photos. In the car I stared at my iPhone photos in
awe: I look 25! Maybe even 20! I don’t need to eat more fiber or use eye
cream or fix my highlights—I just need to stand next to my brother all the time!
Don't tell The Husband and my kids, but effective
immediately, we are all moving to England. And I won’t be packing any eye cream.
MOV
Dang, you are lucky to have your amazing brother. I'm an only child so I have to rely on the magic of Botox, fillers and lots of grey coverage to look younger.
ReplyDeleteWhat the heck. I don't have my tall brother close by or my tall kids. Everyone know the gray haired lady (I still see it as blond) is the grandmother of the kid on the field. We are raising him so there is no way to dodge the "old" remarks. I put on makeup for the first time in a very long time and he told me it looked good but I needed to do something about the wrinkles. If you're not packing your eye cream, send it my way. Apparently I need all that I can get.
ReplyDeletehttp://completelycalifornia.blogspot.com/
i love england. except for the food. their food sucks.
ReplyDeletealso, i like the little about me bit you've got on your blog. "she used to be a flight attendant and go to paris, but now she washes dirty socks."
what did you like about paris. i went there a few years ago. the food's better. but the city... i was not enamored with the city at all.
Great points about youth and how it makes you feel at one age or another. Cool post:)
ReplyDeleteAlas, I have no brother. I have an English husband, though. Does that count? If only!
ReplyDeleteHe told you to start working out immediately? Dear Lord. Well, it only goes to show that it's never good nough: when we're young, we wanna be older, when we're older, they send us to the gym. No wonder I'm stuck in a midlife crisis. ;)
ReplyDeleteHopefully your brother likes you...LOL, lighting is important in those photos now. My aging horror story was a few years ago I was assigned to be the person at the office who bought the office baby present for a co-worker who WAS OLDER THAN ME, but a male, and having his first child. The check-out clerk asked if I was buying the gift FOR MY GRANDDAUGHTER. I was so stunned I couldn't even come up with a snappy comeback. I slunk out of the store, never to return.
ReplyDeleteLovely post, your as young as you feel remember! I'm from England and agree its a lovely place, weather not so lovely though. I disagree with the other commenter about English food, it is miles better than here in the US! I miss UK food so much, Sunday dinners...fish & chips...scones the list is endless!
ReplyDeleteIt may also be due to the fact that no one in England ages. They just pretend to be their own offspring. Look it up. It's a fact.
ReplyDeleteWhat fun! I know how you feel. I have a petite friend and next to her I look like a giant beachball with arms and legs. But my hubby is almost as big as your brother. Thank goodness I look almost normal next to him.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! :-)
LOL! I have a super tall brother too, but I haven't tested the "looking younger by standing next to him" theory yet. I'll have to do that next time I visit him!
ReplyDeleteThis is just all around fantastic. So glad I read it tonight while I'm feeling a little sheepish in my commitment to gray hair and no eye cream. May I share your brother with you? Just for photos and for when I run into that one mom who looks like Petite Ballerina Barbie even under fluorescent lighting at school.
ReplyDelete