Oh, they match all right. Everyone takes me seriously now.I go to the mall and those teeny-bopper kiosk girls shove eye cream samples at me as I walk by. I go to the doctor and he suggests I switch to a high-fiber cereal and start working out immediately. I go to Short’s soccer game and I overhear his coach ask him if that gray-haired lady (me) is his grandmother.
But there is one place where I always look good, always look young, no matter what: standing next to my brother.You see, he is 6’5” and built like a football player. A very large football player with a nickname like “Tank.” That means when I stand next to him in pictures I look like Petite Ballerina Barbie in comparison. And since he is so tall, if we happen to take photos outside, I of course end up in the shade of him (like he is a giant tree or something) which tends to diminish those troublesome little lines that have found their way around my eyes and forehead. I appear shadowy, and as we all know, shadowy = young.
Most recently I went to England to visit my brother. He is stationed there in the military. We took a day trip to Stonehenge and of course took a few photos. In the car I stared at my iPhone photos in awe: I look 25! Maybe even 20! I don’t need to eat more fiber or use eye cream or fix my highlights—I just need to stand next to my brother all the time!Don't tell The Husband and my kids, but effective immediately, we are all moving to England. And I won’t be packing any eye cream.