I grew up in the era of Pretty in Pink and Less Than Zero, so it is a given that I have continually held a not-so-secret crush on James Spader. The floppy hair, the sardonic laugh, the aura about him that he knows everything and is merely tolerating people. Ah, yes, I loved him.
So it should
come as no surprise that he made a guest appearance in one of my dreams the
He was his
usual hot James self, and I was me, and he had no idea who I was. He was also very much married (!) so that
seemed to put a slight dent in my plan to seduce him (at this point, I feel
compelled to apologize to my real-life husband who was conspicuously absent in
said dream—sorry, Hon, I don’t control this stuff).
where was I? Oh, yeah, James.
So we happened to be in some sort of fancy-schmancy hotel (note to subconscious: please reserve this set for future dreams as
well), and I somehow ran into James in the lobby and starting swooning and
telling him how I was a huge fan of his and had seen all his movies, like, five
times (to be perfectly honest, not Supernova
or Alien Hunter, those looked kinda
dumb in the previews). He was vaguely
polite, the way you might be to one of those people at the little kiosks in the
mall trying to trick you into buying hand lotion by asking you what time it
is. He smiled condescendingly (his
trademark!) and then left.
What he didn’t
know is that I followed him, and that is when I saw him go into a suite with
his tiny perfect Asian wife. (Not even
sure if he is married in real life, but in the dream his wife was very gorgeous
While James disappeared into his room with Mrs. James, I was temporarily distracted by a vehicle I just noticed was parked nearby. It was one of those ubiquitous food trucks, but instead of selling gyro sandwiches and lukewarm
sodas, it was selling high-end designer shoes.
This might have been the best part of my dream, because all the shoes
were my size (8, if you must know).
James and I
did not end up together, but I ended up with the type of shoes that Charlize
Theron most definitely would have worn in Two
Days in the Valley.
means I win. Because James might notice
me tomorrow night.