Sunday, June 17, 2012

798. New Muse Post

Muse has a brand new post. 

Muse stood on my front lawn in her tiny reflective-dot bikini.  She was smiling up at me, like a sunflower turned toward the bright sunlight.  “Hey, MOV, are you following me on Twitter?” 

“Muse, I can’t keep up.  Are you saying you’re on Twitter now?” 

“Yeah!  So Delta called back after my lawyer talked to them, and now they are offering me my job back!”  She grinned wide, exposing teeth so perfect they looked alarmingly denture-like. 

“That’s great, Muse!  I’m happy for you.  When do you go back?” 

“Oh, I turned them down.  They wouldn’t let me be based in Atlanta again.”  Here she paused and adjusted her bikini top.  “Sorry!  I lost a lot of weight with all this biking!  My clothes are just—”

“Muse, wait.  Where did they want you to be based?” 

“Oh, yeah, that.  Well, they offered me Salt Lake City, but I told them no.  I do not want to have to move to a foreign country.”  She shrugged, then starting flicking at imaginary lint on her swimsuit.  “So, for now, I have a lot of time to do the biking thing.” 

“Salt Lake City is not a foreign—”

“Gah, are you still talking about that?  You gotta check my tweets.  Then you would be up to date.”  Muse got a mirrored compact out (not sure where she’d hidden it) and examined her eyebrows. 

“I talked to Oakley, she told me all about what happened …” 

“Can we not talk about her?” she asked, snapping her compact shut.  “I mean, one little charge one her Visa and—”

“I thought it was American Express?” 

“Yeah, whatever, quit interrupting!  And if you were on Twitter you would already know all this.  So anyway, like I was saying, one purchase at the Ferrari dealership, and she’s all Ohmygod, the world is gonna end!  You are ruining my credit!  Muse, why did you buy a Ferrari?” 

“Muse, why did you buy a Ferrari?” 

She looked intently at me.  “You really are sisters, huh?  You are totally channeling Oakley right now.  That was a very good impression.” 

“So what is your new plan, Muse?  Where do you go from here?” 

“I don’t know.  My plans are up in the air right now.” 

I was regretting the day I let Muse into my life.  But even more I was regretting that I didn’t have a Twitter account. 



  1. MOV, you know I love Muse as much as the next person, but... don't you think she's a little... *ahem* flaky? I'm just saying, this might, um, you know, be one of those great ideas she has that YOU end up doing instead? But hey, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into!

    1. oooh, Haley, you are right! that Muse is turning out to be very manipulative sometimes! I AM doing all the work lately with my writing, and she is just drinking margaritas.

  2. MOV, that MUSE is a fine girl. Keep feeding her vitamins and she'll keep using your credit cards. That must be a lot of fun, and expensive. ":)

    1. we had to cut her off from the black amex.

  3. I smell trouble...

  4. That muse of yours is a full time job! She may think she's the boss, but I hope SHE gets YOUR coffee!

  5. I'm pretty sure Muse was married to my oldest son, there is just something so familiar about her....

    1. ha! did your oldest son finally wise up?


When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)