MOVarazzi

Monday, June 11, 2012

793. Muse: The Movie

I walked into my living room and there she was. 

“Muse, get off the fireplace please,” I said with absolutely no inflection in my voice whatsoever.  “The Husband is still cleaning your shoe marks off the mantle from last time.” 
“MOV, I have news.”  She said news like one might say skin cancer, which, given her penchant for sunny locales and 32-ounce baby oil, would not really surprise me. 

“Do you have skin cancer, Muse?  If you caught it early, it’s totally treatable—”
“No.  Worse.” 

Long dramatic pause, so typical for Muse. 
“MOV, they’re not making my movie.” 

I had known Muse my entire life.  She was nothing if not inspirational.  If she wanted to be in a movie, or write a movie, or have anything to do with a movie, it would be a smashing success.  Any producer would be crazy to not make her movie. 
“So the producer I met with is crazy,” she began.  “He told me they already did a Muse movie a few years back with Sharon Stone and Andie MacDowell.”  Muse made a face like she just stepped in dog poop.  Dog poop from a Great Dane.  A Great Dane on steroids.   

“Oh, Muse, I’m sorry.  I know your movie would’ve been much better.” 
“Are you still talking about that?” asked Muse, distracted.  “I’m over it.  I have new adventures to plan.” 

Muse gave new meaning to the term ADD.  “Good for you, Muse!  Like what?” 
“Well, I popped in on Oakley the other day, and—”

“My sister?  My sister Oakley?  Why were you at her house?” 
“I was trying to tell you, quit interrupting.”  (I did not like this side of her:  bossy.  Unfortunately, it pretty much was her only side.)  “Like I was saying, Oakley and I are going to bike across country together.” 

I found this difficult to imagine:  Muse being athletic.  Once, Muse and I went shopping together for running shoes. 
Needless to say, she has not competed in any marathons lately.    
“Muse, are you sure this is a good idea?” 

“MOV!  Your sister is a pro bicyclist.  It’s what she does.  What could possibly go wrong?” 

(to be continued …)  

MOV

30 comments:

  1. That's a hilarious picture. Getting ready to run in high heels. Wow.

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    1. I know! When I saw the pic, I knew I had to use it in a story somehow! :)

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  2. I can hardly wait...I will be investing in running heels if those glutes that Muse has, are a result of running in heels. Who knew?? I seemingly have wasted a lot of time doing lunges and squats.

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    1. We will send some high-heeled running shoes right over to you, Cheryl. What size are you?

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  3. I run in high heels, or I don't run at all. So I don't run at all.

    Love,
    Janie

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  4. I can't wait to read what goes wrong! ;)

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  5. All of your pictures paint Muse to be a very, very attractive lady.

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    1. I know. That Muse does not take a bad picture.

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  6. "What could possibly go wrong" should be a catch phrase for Muse. Love your blog.

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    1. Ha! I love it!

      And thank you for your nice compliment.

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  7. Oooh, expanding to the family now. Fascinating! That Muse is such a character. Love these stories!

    By the way, someone should mention that she might want to wear a slightly different garment for long-distance bicycle riding.

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    1. Oh, she will, I promise........

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  8. If she plans on riding the bike in that outfit, you're gonna need a crowbar, a 2x4 and 3 people to get that wedgie out.

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  9. Ha! Well in fairness, that Sharon Stone movie was really bad.

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    1. Good point. I agree, that movie was a waste of $7.

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  10. I love that muse. She's stylish. She's good looking. She's saucy. And a little bit crazy. NO wonder you write so well, MOV! ":)

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  11. Oakley says, "Ruht, roh!"

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  12. Thought Muse might like a pair or two of these. You know... for hiking.

    http://just-mum.blogspot.ca/2010/12/words-cannot-describe.html

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    1. Oh, thank you for the link to those hilarious "hiking" shoes you posted about! ha! I might have to buy a pair or two for me..........

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  13. I don't like for things "to be continued." Sigh...you and Youngman are killing me.

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    1. but you promise to come back, right?

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  14. I was thinking about backpacking through America. Maybe I can catch up to her. Unless, she doesn't live in America, in which case, maybe not. I am not a good swimmer.

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    1. She does live in America. Maybe you can wear the special shoes that Skwishee (above in comments) recommends?

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  15. See if you can talk them into riding north instead of west!

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    1. Muse is not good with directions. I think they went south.

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