MOVarazzi

Sunday, January 22, 2012

637. Words For Sale

Last night was my book party. More than 70 people showed up. That is about five more than came to my wedding.

There were people my age, older people, kids, and even a few babies. There were friends from the high-end kitchen store, friends from my moms’ group, friends from PTA, friends from my neighborhood, friends from the kids’ bus stop, many people I’d never met before, and of course my family. I kept noticing my friend Rachel’s darling little girl (age 3 ½) weaving in and out of teetering book displays and searching for her friends. Her name is Katherine, and she was dressed in a black sweater, houndstooth check skirt, opaque white tights, black ballerina flats, and a crimson flower head band. She looked like a French puppet.

Everything was Virgo perfect: delicious gourmet cookies, Pinot Grigio, upbeat music, silver and clear  balloons, and a sea of smiling faces. And oh, there were books! People started buying my book, and the next thing you know, they were crowding around me, standing in line waiting to meet me and have me sign their books. I felt exactly like Charlize Theron.

Or Santa.

The owner of the bookstore started clinking her wine glass to get people’s attention. I read a chapter from my book (this one HERE). They laughed, they cried, they cheered, they took photos, a few people fainted (not really on that last part). As I was reading, a surreal thought washed through my brain: These people are paying for my words. Words. They are writing checks to the bookstore for words on a page, words from the Oxford Dictionary, words that anyone has (free) access to, but that I have rearranged and written down.

I was reading out loud (which I had practiced in my kitchen with a timer, did I mention I’m a Virgo?) and trying to make eye contact with the crowd, but I kept seeing that children’s classic book, Caps For Sale, in my mind. Except it was Words For Sale, Words For Sale, fifty cents a word! 

The crowd applauded and cheered, and then I told them, “Thank you so much for coming!  The book retails for $15, but as a special promotion for you tonight, it's just $20.”

The evening was absolutely perfect. Everyone went away feeling that they had a great time and got what they came to get.

Except one person.

Toward the end of the evening, adorable tiny Katherine approached me to—I thought—give me a congratualtory hug. No. She tapped insistently on my skirt and said in a mild panic,

“Excuse me, ma’am? Where is the cake?”

MOV

35 comments:

  1. AWESOME!

    clap clap clap clap (Bravo)

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    1. thank you! and thank you for the awesome review you gave me on Amazon. I teared up a little reading it...

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  2. Oh - no cake?! I hope you got a video of some of this, when they make a doco about you you'll need archival footage to make it all realistic and stuff...congrats MOV

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  3. Hah - a sign the word verification said 'repub' - I thought you should know - a sequel, what so soon?

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    1. I know-- what was I thinking, no cake?!? The next book party should have cake. And rodeo stars. And jugglers.

      As for the word verification-- love it! The word verifications are like mini-fortune cookies.

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  4. Sounds like the night went wonderfully, congratulations! Although, I have to admit, I might have been right there with Katherine, asking about the cake. Maybe even in the same outfit.

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    1. See, you could most likely pull that outfit off! As for me, people would be saying, is she trying to be ironic?

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  5. I am truly so happy that you had a wonderful night! We really wanted to come, but the pinewood derby (cubscout race), and my fantastic head cold took precedence. Congrats, again!! I am sure you will do another signing, yes? and maybe we can make it to that one? Keep us posting!!

    Cheers, and continue to be blessed!

    t

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    1. tera--thank you! missed meeting you, hope I have another opportunity to in the future. :) Thank you for your support reading the blog.

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  6. Yay! I now know someone who has actually made money with WORDS! So far, all I've been able to make is people laugh.

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    1. It is such a weird concept, like what do I do with the extra words? are they laying on a floor somewhere (like when you are at the hairdresser and she cuts your hair and there are the strands until she sweeps them up)?

      Thank you for your kind words!

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  7. Hooray! I hope you stashed her pockets with cookies and all stayed merry!

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    1. Oh, Tall and Short inhaled most of the cookies in about the first 10 minutes. I was mortified to overhear one of my best friends say to Tall, "Is that your 80th cookie? I counted 80. You should leave some for other people... does your mom know you are eating that many?" Yikes.

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  8. Congrats!!

    This reminds me of the children's book "Max's Words" (http://www.amazon.com/Maxs-Words-Kate-Banks/dp/0374399492) -- Max collects words, which his siblings think is a stupid collection, and then they end up trading him stuff out of their collections for his cool words when they see what he can do with them!

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    1. I went online and looked at the book-- ohmygosh I want that book now! Looks fantastic!

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  9. What a wonderful evening! Store that memory in a safe place so you remember it always. You can block out the "no-cake" oversight, tragic as it was. Congrats!!

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    1. Thank you Marianne! Your kindness means a lot to me!!! (I am slowly recovering from the "no-cake" thing, *sigh*)

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  10. I'm so GLAD that you had a good time!


    But I have to admit, I'm not sure I understand passing up any opportunity to have cake. It's good for EVERYTHING.

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    1. I flash back to the party The Husband and I threw for ourselves when we bought our first house 10 years ago. We went right to my favorite bakery and ordered the most perfect cake-- when our guests found out which bakery, they pretty much mowed us down to get to the kitchen and reserve a piece. Can you say "all gone"?! I was lucky to get a crumb of my own damn cake.

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  11. You know you've made it when you feel like Santa :D Congrats!

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    1. Fat and happy!?! (I'll take it...........)

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  12. Congrats on the book! Is it really a party without cake though? Or at least a can of Duncan Hines frosting - maybe that's just at my house...

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    1. Thank you! The cake thing will HAUNT me!!!

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  13. A real book with pages in WOW that is well Cool I am very jealous, I would like to do that but I fear my logic is not as others and the proof reader said 250,000 words are you stark staring bonkers and have you read this, it is mad stuff about stuff. Still cakes and new crisp books can end in all sorts if problems ....Good luck with the sales maybe next time have a large picture of a cake on the cover

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    1. I am very much obsessing about the idea of a cake on the cover of the next book now............ yum. (but will people be confused and think it is a recipe/ food book? and as an aside, I told The Husband an awesome name for a dog would be "Cake," as in, "Everyone loves cake!")

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    2. Well a picture of cake on the cover of a book does allow the opportunity to quote Marie Antoinette and say "Let them Read Cake ..... Books"

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  14. So glad I have MY autographed copy. Now that you're all famous and shit you never come around to Tunaville anymore.

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    1. I still love Tunaville. Almost as much as my hometown of Crazy Town. (and yes-- are you not thrilled you have your first edition autographed copy because the Smithsonian will surely come calling....)

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  15. I could not be happier for you! What a wonderful evening, cake or no.

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    1. Thank you dear Kelly, my alternate me in another parallel universe! :) Your book is next......

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  16. Well, it sounds like it was the party of the year! Congratulations! I'm going to be on the side of no cake at a book signing party. It's too difficult to carry a plate with cake on it while you're schmoozing! Maybe I like cookies better? I don't know. Don't sweat the cake. I'm sure everyone had a lovely time!

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    1. couse-- it was amazing. I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that all those people were there supporting me and my endeavor. It was very gratifying and humbling (my friends are all very accomplished themselves). Wish you could have been there!!!

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    2. You are too kind. ;-) I am thrilled it was such an uplifting, positive experience. It's wonderful to be loved!

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  17. Thank you for visiting my blog, MOV.

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  18. So glad your evening went well. You deserved it - you're funny! If you end up in Boston I will bake the cake!

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)