MOVarazzi

Sunday, January 29, 2012

645. 33 words

The nurse handed him to me, so tiny and perfect, the blue blanket wrapped around him tight. His older brother leaned in to kiss his tender head, whispering, “Let’s leave him here, Mommy.”


(A note to my regular blog readers: I stumbled upon this cool website called trifecta writing challenge and todays’ challenge was to write a “love story” in just 33 words. I suppose it is my kooky family's version of a love story, anyway—ha!  You should totally check out the website and participate in future writing challenges, it’s super-fun.)

MOV

23 comments:

  1. That about sums it up, doesn't it? I'm pretty sure that's what Beege was thinking too.

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  2. poor older brother. I admit - I laughed long and loudly over your ending. :)

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  3. I LOVE this because it happens! My daughter wouldn't even look at me, let alone speak to me, when she visited us in the hospital shortly after her brothers birth. She gave him the time of day a wee bit. Perfect! He'll love him after a while.

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  4. I love this. So clever. Poor big brother.

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  5. I felt for the older brother, too. We're planning a second child as well and I think it's a real challenge to show your first that you won't love them any less.

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  6. The older brother will certainly grow to love that the little brother that "ruined his life" And you love them all. So definitely a 33 word love story. Cute and funny!

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    1. Oops, typo in first sentence. Where is my editor? (a.k.a.-husband) ...will certainly grow to love THE little brother...not THAT the little brother. I guess I could have deleted my comment, but hey, let's hear it for keepin it real. Love your stories!

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  7. I like this a lot. I think I can relate.

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  8. This was perfect. I wonder if my daughter felt the same way about her younger brother. A fun response to the challenge.

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  9. What a lovely post! I was constantly bullied by my big bros when I was younger, but they can't live without me, nor me without them. Good ol' siblings.

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  10. This brought back memories! When my daughter was born and my son came to the hospital to see her I ask him what he thought of his new baby sister. He replied: "She's OK, but I wish she was a puppy instead."

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  11. :)). My kids are nine years apart, so old enough for my oldest to keep her displeasure to herself (at least for a couple weeks anyway). I can totally picture this though.

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  12. I loved this! I had my first in hospital, but my second and third at home so there was little fanfare in terms of me being away. My first always had the stronger feelings, but they did not develop until about a month or so in (with the second and third) ... she would poke at their eyes!!! But the love is boundless regardless, especially some 7.5 years later. Great take!

    Glad you stumbled upon Trifecta, can't wait to hear more from you.

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  13. Fantastic! That could've been my second child saying that, except his little bro was born at home...

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  14. Hey - we should so have a love story challenge for Valentines Day!

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  15. So funny! When my sister was having her second child, her first child Karie so wanted a sister named Rachel. When Taylor was born she got very upset crying (she was 3) over and over again "I don't want a Taylor, I want a Rachel!".

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  16. That sounds about right. ;-) Very nicely done!

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  17. Great last line. I have 3 daughters. I'm sure they'd say the same thing about each other.

    well done in so few words.

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  18. Thank you for joining up to this week's Trifecta Challenge. I loved your response to the prompt. Your last line took me by surprise and made me laugh. It's a bold move to bring humor into a writing challenge, and you've done it successfully. Thanks for the chuckle. Hope you'll come back and join us again soon.

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  19. wow-- you guys are great. Thank you so much for all the kind words. Like any good piece of writing, this one pretty much wrote itself. And trifecta, thank you for the prize of being in the Top Three (out of more than 40 entries)! I am touched and honored--just try to get rid of me now.

    xxo to all of you,
    MOV

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)