MOVarazzi

Monday, February 18, 2013

906. Tall, Taller, Tallest

I have always been tall.  I was the girl in the back row of every photograph in elementary school.  I was always last in line when we had to line up shortest to tallest in junior high.  I was chosen first for basketball and volleyball teams (well, until it was proven that there was zero sports talent to complement my height). 

Eventually, I stopped growing at 5’8”.  The perfect height. 
Unless you are shopping for clothes. 

For some reason, women’s clothes are made for short people.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that 99% of the clothes we buy come from China and the Chinese are not known for their tall stature.  Maybe designers are just playing a cruel joke on tall women by forcing them to buy t-shirts that will shrink to expose their edge of their stomachs, and sweaters that will show their wrists.  Who knows.  What matters is that I have no choice but to buy the majority of my clothing in the teen boys’ department of Target.  Because Target understands that teen boys are eight feet tall with long arms. 
I am getting tired of wearing these Target t-shirts.  I would like to buy a lovely floral print t-shirt that fits in length as well as width, and does not show the world my belly button.     

I ask The Husband if he has this issue. 
“You do know I’m 6’4”, right?” he asks.  “My whole life has been one long series of discrimination.” 

I wait for him to tell me the horrors of never finding the right size plaid shirt at L.L.Bean, but then he goes and surprises me: 
“Well, for one thing, doors can be too short, especially in older buildings or attics.  I bump my head a lot.  I am forced to crouch, and I don’t want to crouch.” 

I had not thought of the door thing.    
“Also, people are always asking me to do things for them.” 

Do things?  What kind of things? 
“Reach stuff, hand them stuff, put stuff back.  They just assume, ‘Hey, he’s tall!  He won’t mind handing me something from the top shelf.’  This happens a lot.  At the grocery store, Costco, work, you name it.” 

I had not been a victim of the Perpetual Handing Demands myself.  This was a new form of tall-ism that I had yet to be exposed to. 
Now The Husband is on a rant.  “I’m like, buy a step-stool, people!  Geesh.  And the worst is when someone wants to merely look at something on a top shelf and then two seconds later they want me to put it back—like I’m their own personal valet or something.  And I can’t say no, because then how rude would that make me look?”    

I nod sympathetically but he continues.   
“The worst was that lady at that musical we saw in New York that time.  Remember her?  The lady sitting behind us?  She wanted me to slouch down in my seat so she could see better!  The nerve.  I wanted to say, ‘Lady, should I just remove my head?  Would that work for you?’ I mean, I can’t help it that I’m tall!  And heaven forbid if I want to wear a hat to a baseball game.”

I ask if he wants to be shorter, if that would help ease his perpetual pain of bumping his head or having to help others on a daily basis. 
“No.  No, I don’t want to be shorter.  I want them to be taller.  Or at least say thank you when I do hand them something.  I guess it boils down to that:  people expect me to hand them stuff, like it is their God-given right or something, that of course I must not mind because I have nothing better to do than reach stuff for them.  Honestly, I am sick of it.” 

Right then, our two sons walk in the kitchen from the backyard.  “Pop, our football is caught in the tree.  Can you get it out?”
He doesn’t hesitate.  “Of course!”  

Then he turns and smiles at me.  I guess it must depend on who does the asking.   
MOV

35 comments:

  1. I was always in the front row in pictures. I was shocked and thrilled one day in the grocery store when a little old lady said to me, Oh, you're so tall -- please get that jar from the top shelf for me.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. ha! love it! I guess there is always someone a little bit shorter. (or maybe she had just learned the flattering thing to say to get people to help her?!)

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  2. I am in the purgatory between "petite"--up to 5'4--and "regular"--5'4"-5'7". Which means that the petite pants are just a smidge too short and the regular requires hemming. There's a special place in heck for the people who design clothes.

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    1. oooooh, pant lenghts. So you mean some people just buy pants off the rack and the length is already correct? I was under the impression that pants hemming was a requirement with each new clothing purchase.

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  3. I am a short person with even shorter arms compared to my height. At 5'3" I should be able to reach things but I keep little step stools in every room. My husband is 6'5.5" and my son is 6'3" so if they are nearby they are the guys that get things out of cupboards for me. I rarely ask for help from strangers but I have in a pinch. I also have climbed on lower shelves to get to the top shelves while people roll their eyes. (screw them..I say)

    As for clothes...I have to buy petite clothes that are made for 12 year old girls. Lots of elastic waists (UGH) and no darts for boobs. We are small, but not prepubescent.

    I guess whatever height you are has some downsides but I am thinking 5'8" sound SUPER.

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    1. ok, when you put it *that* way.............

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  4. Tall Girl Club, Holla! 5'10" here. I can't wear anything at Target. My favorite size in the world is the Small Tall from J. Crew. Oh joy. Oh bliss!

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    1. I had not thought of J.Crew. You must mean online, right? I vaguely remember people telling me about J.Crew maternity AFTER I had both my kids, not sure if it really exists or is just a figment of my imagination. Maybe it was Gap maternity.

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  5. Ha! Yes, this sounds familiar. I am 5'10" and my Dad was 6'5". My mother, however, is considerably shorter. There was a lot of reaching for and putting back in our house. I'm hoping my sons will be tall as well. It can be a blessing or a curse.

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    1. For all my whining, it is usually a blessing.

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  6. LOL; I think if given the choice, I'd rather be tall than short; I'm like you 5 feet 8 inches, so if I'm carrying a bit more weight than I should (about 30 pounds these days) it doesn't look quite as bad on a tall person compared to a shorter one :)

    betty

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    1. Betty, ooof-- the weight issue. I hear ya. I definitely feel about 5 pounds over what I would like to be (did I say 5? I meant 25), so for that reason, the tallness does give some hiding spots.

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  7. I'm 5'11" - I swore a long time ago that if (and I did) I had a daughter, I didn't care how much it cost, but I would always find her tall pants because I HATED having highwaters when I was growing up. Thank God for more stores carrying tall sizes now. Though it would be nice if more of them had them in the stores, not just online, but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. I always get asked to get stuff off the top shelf at stores as well. My husband is 6'7" so our children will most likely be giants and carry on the tradition. We're hoping that our son's future NBA career will finance our retirements (he's 5 right now...) ;-) Loved this post!

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    1. Thanks, Erin! And you are very smart to prep your son for an NBA career now. Wish I had thought of that. My older son is 9 and does play basketball, but looking back I guess we missed that crucial window when he was about 2 1/2. *sigh*

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    2. You definitely didn't miss it...my son just finished playing Kindergarten basketball and boy was it painful to watch sometimes!! He had a blast doing it, but the kids just can't really grasp many of the concepts yet, and are pretty uncoordinated. I hear that by approximately 3rd grade it all comes together. Everyone always asked me if I played basketball, but I never did.

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  8. Also meant to add - Shade Clothing has longer length t-shirts which are great!! Tall shirts from Eddie Bauer are nice too. I love the plain short and long sleeve t's from Target, but only underneath other shirts because they all show off my (not-rocking) belly!

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    1. I have never heard of Shade, but I will check them out! thanks!

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  9. Mock Outrage Venter, being tall gets people a lot of advantages. Being asked to reach for things is the least tall people can do to give back, because tall people get all the respect. Don't feel particularly sorry about this woe...

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    1. Hmmmm, Tony, are you 6'8" and messing with me?

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  10. All of my nephews are tall, 6'4" on up. All of my sisters are tall, 5'10" on up - they have the same complaints about clothing. My brothers and my sons? 5'9" straight across. We call them the "Guidos" of the family (we're Italian.) My daughter is 5'! It's a crazy thing this whole height issue and my sisters and nephews feel the same way about being asked to get things and the whole slide down in your seat at the theater never goes over well. Makes me wonder what tall people ask short people to do.. "Hey could you ties my shoe?" Or, "I dropped some change, could you pick that up for me.." :) - I liked this post.

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    1. I LOVE THIS, Mimi! "Can you hand me that change I dropped?" Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!

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  11. You're preaching to the choir, girlfriend. I WISH you could make the LTYM show - my reading (and I'm not supposed to reveal too much) is right up your alley. Up. Heh heh. How do I keep doing this?

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    1. You're gonna have to tape it for me. Wish I could be there.

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  12. My wife is 5'10" and I'm 6'1". We traveled around China awhile back and the locals were often coming up to us asking if they could take our picture. I was assuming it was because they thought I must be George Clooney or Brad Pitt or someone really cool but my family that lived over there at the time said it was probably just because we were really tall (compared to the locals that is). I still like my George Clooney theory.

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    1. I am going with the George Clooney theory. The way that you write, I can *feel* the power of your handsomeness through your written words. I always say to myself after visiting your blog, "That guy must look EXACTLY like George Clooney." What a curse-- all that handsomeness wasted on the internet.

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  13. Yep, 5'8" and clothes shopping can be so frustrating! Especially now that I've lost a little weight and am getting into smaller pants again. For some reason, they seem to be longer in the larger sizes. What's up with that?

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    1. I have found that I have to stick with the same 2 or 3 brands to find pants that fit. Whenever I deviate and try something new it is a total disaster. One that seems to repeatedly work for me is called Charter Club from Macy's. But I could NEVER buy pants online! I know I would end up returning them all.

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  14. I like my height now (5'9" if I stretch), but, I went to school with two sisters who were about 5'4". They wore the cutest clothes and always had taller boyfriends. I pretty much hated them.

    (My brother-in-law is 6'7" and he has sisters who are 6'2". So, I guess it could be worse.)

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    1. There was a 5'1" girl in high school who I hated because she seemed so cute and adorable. Now I console myself by thinking that she must stop and ask people like me to hand her things.

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    2. I thought about this yesterday and realized you need to see this website. modbod.com They have extra long t-shirts, cami's and swimsuits. Perfect for overly-modest-Mormons or extra tall girls.

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    3. I will check it out-- thanks!

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  15. I, too, am 5'8". My legs are long. My question is, why don't they make women's pant sizes like men's pant sizes? Men get to choose from all different lengths for their legs. Are women's legs all supposed to be three lengths: short, medium or tall. I fall right in between and I don't want to hem my pants.

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    1. YES!!!!!!!!! Why don't they? I love that idea: around the waist, one size, length another size. Ralph Lauren sport (the cheaper line at Macy's, not the expensive line at the Ralph Lauren store) actually does this, but guess what? they are always out of my size. I can't win.

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  16. My friends are really tall, and I hate them for it. When we take pictures together, it makes me look extremely short, instead of average.

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    1. I say stand on a curb/ step/ box/ their heads....... whatever happens to be close by and convenient. It is very rude of them to make you look short, don't they know that???

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