MOVarazzi

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

907. Routine Maintenance Is Ruining My Life

I am pretty much shocked when a light bulb burns out.  I take it as a personal affront.  Don’t get me started on when the smoke detector goes off because the battery is dying.  Put gas in the car, you say?  I just filled it up 300 miles ago! 

Routine maintenance sneaks up and punches me in the face several times a week. 
Dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done—sure, I expect that.  But when I suddenly see a thick layer of dust on top of a picture frame?  A frame that I know I just dusted a mere few days ago, or was it months now? 

I want my life to be more fun.  More going to Broadway musicals and Paris for the weekend and less having my shoes re-soled.  Since when do shoes wear out?!  I have only been wearing these lovely new shoes nearly every day for, can it be, a year?  They were really expensive, so shouldn’t that guarantee that they will last forever? 
Roofs apparently need to be replaced every 10 years.  Dryer vents are supposed to be cleaned out after every load of laundry.  Toilets require scrubbing, at least on a semi-annual basis.  Who knew? 

I have this almost child-like sense of wonder when a sock gets a hole in the toe.  How did this happen?  I should buy a pair of socks, wear them as frequently as I like, and then throw them out in 20 years if I get bored with them.  Not the other way around.  The socks shouldn’t get to dictate the duration of our sock/ person relationship!      
But somehow the things in my life are ganging up on me and calling it quits.  Just this week, two light bulbs in two separate rooms flickered and went out forever.  It was almost like they were saying, “Ha!  We know you spent $2.37 on each of us, and it’s over now, baby!”  You know, mocking me.  Last week, the doorknob to the laundry room came off in my hand (luckily I was on the outside of the laundry room, or I might still be stuck there and writing this blog via Morse code or smoke signals).  I was so taken aback—since when do doorknobs need to be replaced or reattached? 

“Have you changed the oil in your car lately, Hon?” calls out The Husband.  I don’t even know what that means.  Change the oil?  I put gas in recently, maybe it is the same thing. 
“MOV, what are you, like, Amish now?  Change the oil.  You have to do it every couple thousand miles or so.  If the oil isn't changed often enough, you can end up with accelerated wear and all the engine problems that come with it (loss of performance and fuel economy, and increased emissions and oil consumption),” he concludes, sounding suspiciously like Wikipedia or Yahoo Autos. 

“Will you do it for me?” I beg, trying to appeal to his macho husbandy side that wants to protect me from dragons and avalanches and talking to gas station people who want to overcharge me for car-ish things that I don’t understand (“Ma’am, you’re going to need a new carburetor.  And I hate to tell you this, but if you keep driving your car the way you do, you’ll have a cracked engine block in no time.  And it also looks like you let your windshield fluid drop to dangerously low levels.”). 
“No, MOV, you are perfectly capable of driving your car a half mile to the gas station and having them change the oil.  It’s not a big deal.” 

Just then, my younger son storms into the room. 
“I am not doing my homework,” he announces with a mix of anger and despair.  “Homework is dumb!  Every day, we have to do homework, and just when you think it is over and you don’t have to do any more, then guess what—even more homework.  It never ends.” 

I know exactly how he feels. 
MOV

27 comments:

  1. That's life. We do all of that routine maintenance and then keel over dead someday.

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    1. Ouch! but the thing is, on your deathbed do you remember (or appreciate) changing all those lightbulbs?

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  2. When the computer doesn't do what it's supposed to do it's because it's out to get me. AND I AM NOT PARANOID.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. No, you are NOT paranoid. I can tell. ;)

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  3. I've given up on using the sticky rolly thing to get the cat hair off my clothes every day. Even when I'm wearing a tank top it looks like I'm sporting a full on sweater. :(

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    1. My cat is black and white. She sheds black fur on the white chair and white fur on my black pants.

      She is an equal opportunity shedder.

      (And we do not even own the sticky rolly thing anymore.)

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  4. Out of the mouths of babes, huh? :) I'm still waiting for the dryer that folds the clothes to be invented..

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    1. THAT would be my salvation! But then what would I do about my current "system" where I throw all the clean clothes in a heap on the basement floor and leave them there for a week until they are so wrinkled that they need to be washed again?

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  5. I remember when I was cleaning my house (I'm on strike these days); I used to think "geesh, I'll just have to do it again next week. But I always did like the benefit of a clean house. (now I just look the other way and besides the house I'm living in right now doesn't belong to me, just hubby). But you are right, that maintenance needs to be done whether we like it or not. I have never managed to learn how to pump gas though. I guess its a good thing I work at home :)

    betty

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  6. My husband changes my oil for me. Like literally, in our garage. I feel like I can brag about this because he's super obnoxious so my penance is paid elsewhere.

    I absolutely gave up on all maintance with my car before him because the dudes performing various services to my vehicle were the devil. They were so evil I could not bring myself to be in their presence at all. This didn't work out really. When I finally found a mechanic I trusted (my then boyfriend now husband's roommate) he said; Don't go out of your cell phone's calling range. WHEN this car breaks down, call for a ride and walk away. Just leave it.

    I did end up doing that. But I donated it so I didn't have to pay for towing.

    Also; who knows how long it's been since I cleaned out the toaster? And the fridge? Where's the self cleaning options I was promised for the 2000's?!!

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    1. You had to WALK?!?! I hope you were not stuck super-faraway from home!!!!!!!!

      And yes, the self-cleaning toaster and fridge. Someday......

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  7. If it makes you feel better, my washing machine and dishwasher decided to die in the same week. And then my van decided that I should pay to have the tension pulley and serpentine belt replaced twice within less than two weeks because, you know, it wasn't get enough attention or something.

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    Replies
    1. See? Now I know the auto repair guys are just making stuff up. Serpentine belt? That sounds way too pretty for my car.

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  8. Once in awhile I'd like to stop performing the routine maintenance around the house and see who notices -- besides me. I fear that the dog hair would overtake us and we'd all end up looking like yetis. Maybe I should try that around Halloween? ;-)

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    1. That is the thing, isn't it? Would anybody *actually* notice...........

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  9. I know exactly how you (and your son) feel.Been feeling it a bit extra these days too. Like a break is just needed from all the 'stuff' in life. Oil changes? Dislike!!! I try to appeal to the hubby's chivalrous side as well. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I find myself in a dirty waiting room,,at a dirty oil changing place, staring at my phone, pretending to text someone until the guy finally yells my name. :(

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    1. ha! I pretend to text people sometimes, especially if someone I do not want to talk to looks like they might be about to talk to me..........

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  10. I get burnt out on the maintenance of life too. I even get to the point sometimes where I'm burnt out on having to eat again. I mean I just ate five hours ago, and now I have to make myself yet another meal!?!?!

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    1. I don't mind making meals for myself (uh, ice-cream works well for breakfast, lunch, and dinner), it is the perpetual cooking for other people that drives me banana-cakes loco. Seems like I just feed the kids, wash dishes, and then it is time to make food again. Argh! If I ever win the lottery, I am hiring a full-time chef. Maybe even Top Chef.

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  11. Two months after we married, my husband informed me we needed to spend our entire, teeny-tiny tax refund on tires for the car. Tires? It already HAD tires. That was my first introduction to maintenance. I still don't like it.

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    1. ohhhhhhhhh. I feel your pain. Tires should last forever, or at least be free. Tires are not Sexy Money. I wrote a whole blog post about this phenomenon. Here is the link, you will laugh:

      http://mothersofbrothersblog.blogspot.com/2011/12/603-sexy-money.html

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    2. Sexy money is now in my vocabulary and will be used often!!

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  12. This kind of stuff has been piling up on me for the past few weeks... with so much work, I haven't had the time to do all the stuff in my own life... and tonight is the first chance I have gotten to catch up on blogs!

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    1. ahhhhhhh, I know that feeling well!

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  13. You're talking to the woman who finally took her dry cleaning in to be done. 87 pieces, $2.50 a piece. You do the math.

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    1. Dry cleaning should be free, like in Russia.

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)