MOVarazzi

Friday, February 8, 2013

901. Guard It with Your Life

Museums are my own personal therapy.  As soon as I look at a painting up close, any tension I had disappears.  My mind swims with the colors and the brushstrokes, I get lost in the art. 

How can you not love this painting? 
 
Or this one? 



The talent of the artists shines.  You can see the years of training and hard work and study and perseverance.     
However, there is some art I just don’t understand.  It is what I call "Lazy Art."  Art that really serves no purpose, art that can be done by a preschooler. 
Now, I know there are critics who pan the work of Jackson Pollack, because they see it as merely drips of paint on canvas. 
 
I beg to differ. 

I feel the movement of the piece, the energy.  I respect the idea and the abstract nature of the piece.   

Here is what I don’t get: 
 
It is a set of three doorknobs. 

That you could buy at Home Depot and then paint and glue onto this board. 

For about $12. 

Not only that, but someone has to guard it. 
 
 
Seriously?  They pay a guard to watch over that? 

Guess what else was in the same room: 
 
To me, it looks like a big clump of leftover plaster that would be found in the trash.  Yet it is worth 50 million gazillion dollars.  Better retrieve that crumpled up aluminum foil I threw away last night-- might be worth something!   

I wonder if this guard is very happy. 
 
 


A whole museum of things like this …




… and yet he gets to stand by the stripes of colors that remind me of paint sample swatches.  Poor guy.  Makes you wonder what he did to piss of the museum admin people. 
“Harold was late to work three times last month, give him Room 9-B to guard today.” 

“Are you sure?  Ellen was a no-show yesterday, I think she deserves it more.” 
“Good point.  And Mike got a great compliment from a customer the other day, so he can guard the Van Goghs.” 

“Done.” 
 
MOV
** Disclaimer:  Signs in the museum said photography is allowed as long as the pictures are not for commercial use.  My blog is pure content with zero advertising and does not produce revenue, so I believe this meets their criteria. 

22 comments:

  1. I am in serious need of some art therapy. Thanx for the reminder.

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    1. glad to put that bee in your bonnet! get thee to a museum!

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  2. I, too love art museums. Nearly as relaxing as a spa treatment. If they had someone follow me around with cucumber water and back rubs, it would be even better.

    I try to find the "reason" something is considered important art but a lot of it is out of my realm of understanding. If stripes on a wall is art...why am I not a famous artist?

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    1. oooooooooooh, we could start a trend! museum plus spa, complete with the cucumber water and back rubs that you mentioned! I could totally get onboard for that.

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  3. I've never been a fan of modern art. Well, except for the geometric shape paintings because man I love those for some reason. But I can't for the life of me understand the modern stuff. Who want's to look at door knobs. Give me Renaissance art any day! Heck! Give me hieroglyphics!

    I feel bad for those poor guards. "How was your day, honey?" "Oh fine. I stared at a brick for 8 hours to make sure no one stole it."

    Boring!

    We should strive to liven up their otherwise dull days. Start making intense notes, count steps between the exhibit and door, clearly stare at the security cameras. Hum the Mission Impossible theme as you walk through.

    Good times!

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    1. will you be my one phone call from jail, heather?

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  4. Have to agree with you with what is considered art and I just look at it and say "really?" Enjoyed your visit at the museum; thanks for sharing it with us! Enjoyed reading about your surprise visit in Chicago! I bet the look on Marianne's face was priceless!

    betty

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  5. Wow! I've seen blue-red-white-yellow-white-blue squares paintings before, but never a blue-red-white-black-yellow-white-blue one. That artist is a genius!

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    1. he is a genius, isn't he? maybe next he will experiment with white on white on white.

      (reminds me of an AWESOME play a few years back called, "Art" that played in NY and London and starred Alan Alda. screenplay by Yasmina Reza-- fabulous!!!)

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  6. I don't think anyone should trust me to guard the Van Goghs. They are likely to walk away and find their way into my home. Just sayin'.

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    1. hmmmmmm. now we will know where to look.

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  7. I once TOUCHED a Rembrandt. I'll tell you about it on my blog: www.murph4slaw.blogspot.com

    :o)

    So are you going there?

    What, aren't you curious?

    Come on, it'll be illuminating.

    :o)


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    1. Hi Heidi, read your story and loved it! Surprised you were not locked up and never heard from again. But I guess if you were a teenager, it can be forgiven......

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  8. I saw glorious painting after glorious painting when I went to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art about 18 months ago. Then there was a little arch of blue on the wall. It kind of looked as if somebody's kid had been turned loose with a blue crayon just long enough to get a little blue on the wall. That, as a work of art, I don't get. But I love Pollack and Warhol and Rivera and most of all, Kahlo.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Ah, Frida Kahlo and all her self-portraits! I wrote a college term paper on Warhol.

      My favorite artists are (in no particular order):
      Marsden Hartley
      Gauguin
      Klee
      Matisse
      Kandinsky
      Fernand Leger
      Miro

      I could go on and on, but you get the idea. :) I HEART ART.

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  9. Museums Opening Vision, I don't mind modern art. It broadens the scope of art, which really is just about anything. If you find that maddening, then you would really hate modern poetry...

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    1. really? I like quite a bit of poetry. My favorite poem ever is "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot. (another college term paper!)

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  10. I love museums too but I feel the same way! Some of the guarded "treasures" are so ridiculousy mundane. It makes me feel like I should bring some of my kids macaroni necklaces and just tack 'em to the walls! I wonder if anyone would guard them as much as I have over the past 20+ years..

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    1. MiMi, bring the macaroni necklaces. They would blend right it.

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  11. Hmmmmm. These pictures look oddly familiar. As though I've seen them before.

    I wish I could remember things.

    Now who is this again?

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    1. Well, you know what I always say: "All museums are almost kinda exactly the same. Except when they're not."

      These paintings just *seem* familiar, Marianne.

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