MOVarazzi

Sunday, February 3, 2013

899. The Curse of Inconvenient Things

I am not a mean person.  If people cross me, I am not the type to wish that their car would be stolen or that their house would burn down or that they would lose their job. 

But I am still human. 
I merely wish that the Curse of Inconvenient Things would fall upon their heads.  Nothing horrible, just inconvenient.  Miss the green light and be forced to wait at the intersection a whole three extra minutes.  Be in the shower when that important phone call comes in and then forget to check voicemail.  Run out of creamer and not realize it until after brewing fresh coffee.  That sort of thing.

Remember in Sleeping Beauty when the evil witch places a curse on Sleeping Beauty that on her 16th birthday she would prick her finger on a needle and die?  And then the good witch “softens” the curse by making it be so that she would not die but instead just fall asleep for 100 years? 
Okay, maybe that is a bad analogy because falling asleep for 100 years is not really that great either. 

I digress. 
The point is, our kids can learn from us.  Instead of having a fight with someone and screaming out, “I wish you were dead!”, why not say, “I hope you get a ‘C’ on your test and your Mom is late to pick you up!” 

Oops, I gotta run.  I am waiting for an important call and I think I forgot to charge my phone battery. 
MOV
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21 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 3, 2013 at 7:15 AM

    That is an excellent curse and I am now adopting it because I'm not a mean person either.. Altho I used to say.. I wouldn't want to see him/her get hit by a train but I sure as heck wouldn't mind hearing about it! Now I'll just think of the MOV curse. Well most times anyway.. Some days I wouldn't mind hearing that train whistle. :)

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:14 AM

      ha! I have never heard the train saying before, but I gotta say-- I love it!

      Delete
  2. CperzFebruary 3, 2013 at 8:48 AM

    I think that you must be the nicest person on the planet. The inconvenient curse is an awesome concept but you are far too kind. Coffee with out creamer..sure that's harsh but not harsh enough in some cases. I am more about hoping the person that wronged me gets a flat tire and the AAA card expired six months ago...and it's raining.

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:16 AM

      ohhhhhhhhh. And raining. Wow. That curse must be for the ex-boyfriend who cheated on you with ... the ex-boyfriend before that. Yeah, maybe 2 flat tires and a monsoon should do it.

      Delete
  3. Mama MelchFebruary 3, 2013 at 9:07 AM

    I love the concept! I'll be using: I hope you run out of toilet paper and have to go #2.

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:16 AM

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! This is my new favorite!

      Delete
  4. AndreaFebruary 3, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    Sleep is merely inconvenient given the alternative though, so good analogy! Wishing you a more convenient day!

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  5. Tony LaplumeFebruary 3, 2013 at 11:23 AM

    Mice Opening Vaults, I see that you have indeed blogged about it!

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:17 AM

      I am a woman of my word ("Mistress Of Verses"?).

      Delete
  6. Vapid VixenFebruary 3, 2013 at 12:22 PM

    Ha! I'm totally using this. "I curse you with an inconvenient day!!!" Yep. Feels pretty good.

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:17 AM

      It does feel pretty good, huh? (Not spectacular, but pretty good is still pretty good)

      Delete
  7. Kinley DaneFebruary 3, 2013 at 8:07 PM

    Ha ha, that's great. I feel so guilty wishing bad things on people, but inconvenient things satisfies me, while at the same time relieving my conscience. Love it.

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:18 AM

      thanks! all of the Schadenfreude (oh, such a great German word, google it if you are not familiar with it), and none of the guilty calories!

      Delete
  8. Murr BrewsterFebruary 4, 2013 at 12:09 AM

    Most women I know are at or past menopause and would not consider 100 years sleep a bad deal at all. I would. I'd die in the first year of dehydration, because I drool. You don't see that in the Sleeping Beauty movies either.

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:19 AM

      Disney does conveniently edit out the whole drooling sequence. Hmmm. He was a genius at marketing.

      Delete
  9. Ash-MaticFebruary 4, 2013 at 2:13 AM

    I think this is a fantastic curse! Sooo much potential...

    'I hope you put the bread in the toaster and THEN discover you have nothing to spread on it! AhahahahahHAHA!'

    But seriously, sleeping for a hundred years would be pretty cool. Instant time travel. I want to see if the squids have taken over by 2113.

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  10. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    Oh, yes. I love this! The suggestions in the comments are terrific! No paper in the printer when you have to print out that big report? No quarters in your wallet when you REALLY need a candy bar? No half and half for fresh-brewed coffee would be a really nasty one for me. May it never be so!

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 12:20 AM

      No paper in the printer! Ha! Did not think of that one...

      Delete
  11. StephanieFebruary 5, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    Ha! Way to arm your child with a thousand little stingers! Love it.

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    1. MOVFebruary 5, 2013 at 10:49 AM

      hey, I am all about "giving" to my kids. :)

      Delete

When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)

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