Fun has gotten a lot of press lately. Everyone is looking for Fun, and everyone wants to have Fun. I decided to interview Fun for myself to try to get the inside scoop.
MOV: Hello, Fun. Thank you for granting me this interview slot! You are hard to get a hold of; some might even call you “elusive”.
Fun: That’s so funny that you say that! I’m not, though. Elusive I mean. Hey, you know what would be great right now? A cappuccino. Will you make me one real quick? No sugar.
MOV: Uh, sure. (Pause to make cappuccino.) Here ya’ go.
Fun: Perfect! Yum! You know who makes a great cappuccino? Angelina Jolie. She's a close personal friend.
MOV: Wow. You hang out with her? Okay. So the purpose of this interview, really, to me I mean, is to figure out exactly where you live, Fun, and how ordinary people can have you around more often.
Fun: (Big sigh.) Geesh, you really make this too hard. I'm everywhere! Just look up and there I am!
MOV: I don’t think that’s true. You weren’t there the other day when I accidentally backed into that guy’s car in the parking lot by Crazy Town Bistro……
Fun: Well, that’s true. I was there, but as soon as I heard that crunched metal sound, yikes, that’s like my cue to move on.
MOV: Why do you have to leave when things get a little rough?
Fun: You better watch yourself, MOV, I might leave right now.
MOV: Oh, sorry! Okay, don’t leave. Getting back on track here, why don’t you give me some good ideas where people can look for you?
Fun: Sure. Uh, I’m usually at the mall. Love to shop, love to spend money. I like to go to the movies. Oooh, I know! Amusement Parks are a biggie for me, especially Disneyland. You can always find me there. Where else? Parties, parties are always great. Just not the first half hour of a party, you will never see me get there early. Love to run, love to work out. Love to go to soccer games and play. Spending time with friends is always cool. Travel! I love to travel. Gosh, I like to do a lot of things. I’ll tell you what I don’t like: work.
MOV: I’ve heard that. There was a rumor that you don’t particularly like work. Huh. So that’s true then?
Fun: Well, I can be found at work sometimes, you know, if my co-workers are cool, just not, like, every single day.
MOV: Can you tell me some other things that you don’t like, you know, things that you avoid?
Fun: Sure. There are a lot of things. I am definitely gone on April 15th—I do not like taxes. Nor screaming babies in strollers—won’t find me there! And really, if someone says, “Oh, but that toddler is just the cutest thing”, he may in fact be, but if he is screaming at the top of his lungs and his face turns all red and his features are all contorted: Ugh! Like, I got a basketball game to go to, like, yesterday!
MOV: You’re right, babies are usually cuter when they’re smiling.
Fun: Exactly. That’s when I’m around.
MOV: Any thing else you're not a fan of?
Fun: Well, to be honest with you, I used to really like dogs. In fact, part of me still does. They can be all jumpy and animated and really affectionate……… it’s just, well….. you're kind of required to take them for walks and then you have to clean up after them and the next thing you know: you’re carrying a little bag of poop with you. Ugh! That is pretty much the opposite of me and my personality: bag of poop. No dogs for me! Forget it—I'm outta there!
MOV: You’re not really committed then, are you?
Fun: What do you mean?
MOV: You’re not really there for the good times and the bad? When things get uncomfortable, you leave?
Fun: Oh, absolutely. I admit it. I only hang out for the good times. I’ll tell you another place you won’t find me: hospitals! I have never been sick a day in my life! Never been to the dentist either! Oh, and I drink chocolate milkshakes, like, a lot. Every. Single. Day. Yum-o!
MOV: Okay, well, thank you for your time, Fun, it was a pleasure getting to spend so much time with you. I know that you're a busy individual, so I'll let you get going.
Fun: Great. I have a flight to Italy in a couple hours, First Class! George Clooney invited me back again to stay with him at his villa on the lake. I do need to finish packing. But on second thought, packing is kind of dreary, so maybe I'll just buy all new clothes when I get there.
So, there you have it, Reader. If you are looking for Fun this week, looks like he's vacationing in bella Italia.
(“Milan Or Venice?”)