MOVarazzi

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

956. The "B" List

The first time I ever heard the concept of a “B” list was when I was planning my wedding.  My mom told me that we should keep the number of guests to a certain limit, but I was free to maintain a “B” list in case some people RSVP’d no.    

“Wait, what do you mean a ‘B’ list?” 
“You know, if the main people you are inviting can’t come, then you have extra people on a secondary list … people that you like, but not necessarily your first choice.” 

I was really puzzled by this, because in my mind, everyone I wanted to invite was my “A” list—there was no secondary list.  In fact, if pressed, the only people we didn’t really need at the wedding would be the guests my fiancé wanted to invite.  I guess those were the “B” list people. 
Not surprisingly, my fiancé was not real pleased to hear about that. 

“What do you mean, ‘B’ list?” 
Anyway, we somehow worked it all out without an “A” or “B” list after all.  We invited everyone we wanted, and did not worry too much about who could not attend.    

Fast forward 13 years and I find myself again in this conundrum with my own children.  But instead of me deciding who is on the “B” list, I learn that I am the one on the “B” list.  My kids have no desire to spend time with good ol’ mom if there exists someone born between 2001 and 2008 within a half mile radius.
Gone are the days when separation anxiety gripped my toddler like a tube of toothpaste being squeezed down the middle.  Goes are the days when my preschooler Velcro-ed himself to my leg every morning at drop-off.  Gone are the days when my kindergartner ran toward me with open arms after getting off the school bus, like a commercial for a cheesy Lifetime movie about a custody battle. 

I now fall squarely in the category of “people you like, but not necessarily your first choice.” 
The other day, I made the mistake of giving my sons the option of getting out of school early to take me to the airport or they could go to a full day of school and have a playdate with a neighbor friend. 

Guess which one they chose?
I, of course, was devastated.  I confided my situation to The Husband later that evening.    

“Sweetie, I am not longer on the ‘A’ list,” I lamented.    
He smiled and said something he thought might be reassuring, “Oh, MOV, don’t worry … you never were.” 

MOV

21 comments:

  1. I know a friend who aspires to be a "C" List celebrity. I think Hollywood is where all the "lists" came from. It's too bad that they've now creeped into every aspect of society. I'm probably on a couple of "D" lists somewhere.

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    1. Is "E" a list? I might be on that one.

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  2. If I can get my 21-year-old son to return a text (forget about a phone call), I FEEL like I'm on the A-list. Pretty sad. I now know what my mom meant when she said she never wants presents for special occasions, she just wants her kids to call.

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    1. oh, man, is that what the teenage years hold in store for me??

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  3. Don't feel bad, maybe they didn't like the possibility of engaging in heavy traffic while on the way to the airport. My mother wishes that she could get all of us out of the house. We are 4 adults, but we just can't seem to leave her. I bet she wishes that she was on our B list. Fantastic post and I am very thankful that you stopped by and followed my blog.

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    1. thanks! kind words, I appreciate it. :)

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  4. The B List concept makes me sad. I know that the people you meet or know come in different intensities of personal attraction, but the idea of making a separate column to put some people in seems a little too "No, that's your drinking fountain over there."

    Like new music albums, you may start out liking some tracks/people more than their associates, but in time totally change your mind. That fluid, subjective, ever-shifting mess of personal opinion can't fit into lists for me -- and, it feels better not to think of myself as being on the wrong side of somebody else's line.

    Although I can't speak for the list-makers out there, of course, it feels better to think of myself and everyone I know as "all being in there somewhere." A good mess is much more inclusive - I'll use that as the rationale for the state of my house!

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    1. could not agree more! it does hurt, though, to think I am on the "wrong" side of the line with my own children.......

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  5. Whenever I suspect I might have been on the B list at someone's wedding I make sure to help myself to as many pieces of cake as I damn well please. And there's definitely none of this "wait until the bride and groom have had the first piece" crap.

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    1. I knew I should not have invited you to my wedding. *rips up "C" list*

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  6. I am now your newest follower. Funny story. I have one as well about our wedding, but it's too long to relate here. Maybe I'll post it on my blog soon.

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    1. Welcome! Thanks for following, JJ. :) I love my followers, and I always send my newest followers a gift basket with chocolate, champagne, theater tickets, and a new iPad. Wait-- did I say "always"? I meant never. But if I was, like, Oprah..... then I totally would. Honest.

      It is the thought that counts, right? Hello?

      best,
      MOV

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  7. Life's better on the "B" list. At least that's what the voices in my head say. They are my only company.

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    1. Maybe the voices are on the C, D, E, F, G list? That would explain a lot.

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  8. this made me smile..i happily don't fall into any lists..it's an ok place - no pressure to please..or disappoint..

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    1. ps - thanks for following

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    2. I like the list-free concept. Wish that society could adopt that!

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  9. Hmmm, I wonder which alphabet list I'm on? Maybe I shouldn't consider it too long. I might start to feel left out. ;-)

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    1. YOU ARE ON MY "A" LIST, COUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

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  10. You'll always be on the A-list in my book, kid!

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