Tuesday, March 12, 2013

916. The Day I Joined Facebook (hint: today)

After much pressure from the co-author of my new book, Epic Mom (available on Amazon, thanks for asking), I finally gave in and joined Facebook.  Let me start off by saying I have no idea what I am doing.  Giving me a Facebook account is equivalent to giving an 8-year-old the keys to your car and saying, “And please try to drive the speed limit.”
Yeah, baby, I crashed and burned on the freeway of Facebook. 

First, I could not for the life of me figure out how to load my profile picture.  And normally I am pretty good with that stuff.  I ended up having to email my co-author and beg her to put the photo up, which she did because she felt sorry for me (or so I would stop pestering her every five minutes). 
Next, Facebook courteously informed me that I already had 27 people who wanted to be my friend.  I was really surprised, seeing as how most of these people lived in Peru.  But Peru seems like a country I would want to visit (you never know), so I clicked “Yes” on all their requests. 

After that, Facebook realized that I was actually a Facebook Pro and not the mere novice that FB had first assumed.  Facebook kicked it into high gear and said, “Would you like to be friends with everyone you have ever met in your entire life?” 
Ack!  No, no, no-no-no-no-no-no.  I started hyperventilating.  That would be really bad. 

Facebook laughed and said, “Kidding!  How about we start easy and just be friends with everyone in your personal email address book?” 
Now that didn’t seem so scary.  I didn’t want to be rude to Facebook, seeing as how we were in this new relationship and all (speaking of which, why did FB say I got married today when I was trying to say that my status was "Married"?  I was not trying to say that there was a wedding today, just that I was already married!  Suddenly, many Peruvians were sending me “Likes” and sweet little congratulations messages).  I decided that if someone as knowledgeable and informed as FB was wanted to suggest that I be friends with everyone in my virtual address book, well, then that must be a good idea. 

I forgot that my dentist was on my email list. 
And my chiropractor’s secretary. 

American Express. 
The lady I bought handmade Christmas ornaments from at that craft fair three years ago. 

My plumber. 
The vice-principal of my sons’ preschool from five years ago. 

A priest from a church that we don’t even go to. 
Apparently, my email list is pretty darn social. 

So yes, I crashed my new Facebook car. 
Someone please take away my keys. 

P.S. If you want to “friend” me on Facebook, then my name over there is MOV Harrison.  Oh, and I am 23 years old (Facebook didn’t ask for my driver’s license).

NEWS UPDATE:  Facebook just sent me a nasty email saying that I must stop sending Friend requests to people I don't know or I will be blocked!  Ha!  Facebook is pretty fickle, eh? 


  1. OH MY GOD, I'm dying! Your Facebook stories should take you clear through next summer. This is going to be gooooood. Well, for us anyway.

    1. glad someone can benefit from my gaffes. (did I spell that right? gaffes? giraffes? the giraffe who made a gaffe and drank out of a carafe?)

  2. It's like I can finally stalk you without having to pay someone to find out your real name.

  3. I cannot stop laughing. I recently joined Goodreads (a book thing), Instagram (a photo thing) and Linkedin (some day I might want a job thing) and I have had similar problems. I invited everyone who had ever emailed me to Linkedin. Including a blogger who is not speaking to me because I once posted twice in one day (bizarre). I have connections I never intended. It didn't stop there (I am a slow learner) because I went ahead and managed to do the exact same thing with Instagram and Goodreads. I spent all day yesterday (ALL DAY!) trying to make my picture show up next to my blog in Google search. This was my second try. I am starting to see why people hire technology geniuses to do this stuff. Another reason I should probably be buying lottery tickets. Still, I am glad you are on Facebook!

  4. I was late to set up an account and pretty much felt that it was mandatory. I don't think a person is perceived to "exist" unless they have one. I do have an account but I am more a FB voyeur. I read everyone's comments but don't contribute much. You can have a Facebook page just for your blog as well.

    1. all this time I did not exist? so that is what I was doing wrong.......

  5. I just shared a funny cat picture on our FB page so you signed up just in time. Phew!

    P.S. FYI, Facebook is the gateway drug to Twitter.

    1. wait, are we facebook friends? because if not, we totally should be. send me a request! remember, I am MOV Harrison. And my birthday is 1-1-1990. bwahahahahahahahaha. I love being 23 again (and again and again).

    2. When I do a search I'm not finding you. Do you have a link?

      I'm not trying to do one of those I'll like your FB page if you like mine deals but if you like our FB page I'll be able to see you then and then be able to friend you.

    3. a link?


      try a dot between mov and harrison?
      so mov.harrison?

      let me know if that works.

  6. Hahaha! Just do what I a Facebook account and then do...well...absolutely nothing with it. It's pretty easy to do nothing.

    1. oooooooooooh, I am really good at nothing.

      wait, that didn't come out right......

  7. I've learned to carefully consider each friend request I get or send, wanting to keep FB not too time consuming (that's what blogging is for, LOL :) Welcome to FB! Just don't start playing the games! I hear they are highly addictive, Word Tornado especially, just saying....


  8. Just remember that Mr Zuckerberg is always watching you!

  9. You sound like you're already way better at Facebook than I am. Luckily Facebook compensates for my stupidity by not showing my updates to anyone - not even Peruvians.

    1. Robyn, don't despair....... I'll bet those Peruvians have a way to look at your updates covertly. They are very smart.


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