When I invited
my first love into the kitchen, it was exactly like old times—sweet! I smile constantly to even think about being near
my first love. My first love is so, well,
addictive.
Then, just
like that, my first love was gone. My
first love managed to take all my self-control and self-esteem. Oh, Sugar, my love! Come back to me! How can things be over that fast? That’s right:
I ate an entire bag of over-priced gourmet cinnamon
gummy hearts in less than one hour.
Pure sugar, expensive and delicious, my lifelong obsession.
Oh, they
were so good! I could not just eat one
or two or twelve … I had to have all.
Now my tummy
is sick, sick, sick. The Husband just
got home from work and asked why I was feeling ill, clutching my intestines as
if I might throw up at any moment. My
first love caused me to lie to my beloved spouse of a dozen years: “Sweetie, it must be the flu!”
But then. Evidence. He found the empty candy bag in the trash and
walked into the living room where I had been lying on the couch basking in his
sympathy.
“You don’t
have the flu!” he laughed while holding the bag up for my inspection. “You just ate too much sugar. This always happens. You have no will power. Why do you even buy these?”
My brain
flashes back to that day long, long ago (okay, yesterday) when I was working at
the high-end kitchen store. My boss told
me to move the left-over Christmas stuff to the sale table and put out the
items for our next holiday.
“Wait—this bag
says Valentine’s!” The Husband interrupts my important career reflections. “Does the high-end kitchen store already have
Valentine’s stuff? It’s only January
second!”
I groan,
partly because he is right—we are super late this year for putting the
Valentine’s merchandise out—and partly because the sugar is affecting all my
internal organs including my teeth.
“I think I
feel a new cavity coming on.” It is my one
last stab at sympathy. Not only does it
not have its desired effect, but my new pronouncement garners fresh disdain.
“Serves you
right! What were you thinking eating all
those gummy hearts?”
I know why
he is really mad: I forgot to save him
one.
MOV
"Mistress Of Valentine's"
"Mistress Of Valentine's"
