I went over there and gawked at New Target. Where have you been all my life, you in your pristine red and white Targety goodness and splendor with your lovely double circle logo? The counters were unsullied. The lamp supply was endless. The staff was sincerely happy. It was exactly like my normal Target, but with free kittens and mint-chip sundaes and glitter.I should have been tipped off right when I walked in and the girl handed me a map. A map! To Target! What a Virgo thing to do: I am in love.
I studied the map and realized that something in my DNA already knew where everything was. It was as if I had drawn the map myself.At this point, you might expect that I woke up from a dream, but it was actually real life.
I figured out a way to buy less, because my wallet likes to spend $300 every time I am within a three mile radius of Target: don’t get a cart. Or basket. Or take a list. Instead, just wander aimlessly.I meandered up and down the rows, looking at Christmas items that I don’t need, all the while whispering, I love you, New Target.
I only bought one lamp this time.MOV