I went over
there and gawked at New Target. Where
have you been all my life, you in your pristine red and white Targety goodness
and splendor with your lovely double circle logo? The counters were unsullied. The lamp supply was endless. The staff was sincerely happy. It was exactly like my normal Target, but with
free kittens and mint-chip sundaes and glitter.
I should
have been tipped off right when I walked in and the girl handed me a map. A map!
To Target! What a Virgo thing to
do: I am in love.
I studied
the map and realized that something in my DNA already knew where everything
was. It was as if I had drawn the map
myself.
At this point,
you might expect that I woke up from a dream, but it was actually real
life.
I figured
out a way to buy less, because my wallet likes to spend $300 every time I am
within a three mile radius of Target:
don’t get a cart. Or basket. Or take a list. Instead, just wander aimlessly.
I meandered up
and down the rows, looking at Christmas items that I don’t need, all the while
whispering, I love you, New Target.
I only
bought one lamp this time.
MOV 
I was going to say "be careful and leave your purse in the car. Target causes dents...in my bank account!
ReplyDeleteI never make it out of Target for less than $100. A new Target...now that would have a been a kiss of death for me. Especially if I had been kid free. I am impressed with your one lamp purchase :)
ReplyDelete-Heidi
http://mommypluscoffee.blogspot.com/2012/10/i-am-that-mom.html
oh, yes, very dangerous!!!!!!!!! one lamp is a new (low) record for me. :)
Deletebest,
MOV
Does your Target have groceries? I love grocery shopping at Target. It's so much nicer than the grocery store -- so clean and no crowds.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie Junebug
Cheryl just told me they have groceries, but I never paid attention to that. I am all about new vases that I don't need, to put next to all the new lamps. ha!
Deletebest,
MOV
i hate where i live, but the fact that there's a new target only 6 minutes away really takes the edge off.
ReplyDeleteIt's like the Universe is trying to even things out for you..........
Deletebest,
MOV
MOV, you know I adore you, right??? As I am probably older than your mother just consider me your GREAT Aunt Cheryl. This is what separates me from the young and hip-happening people of the world. I am OK with Target...but we are not in LOVE. All of our Targets in Kansas City have been remodeled and I can't find ANYTHING I need. (Hence the reason for people hovering around with maps.) While they are uber friendly they don't know if Target still carries Cool Whip Free either. 2nd problem with Target...I need everything "light" preferably without any calories or fat. They are real stingy with the healthy "Whole Foods" kind of stuff. Oh, I admit that their Archer Farms stuff is tasty but my age group pretty much is down to chicken breasts and broccoli.
ReplyDeleteNow that I have whined about Target...can we still be friends???
Cheryl,
DeleteWait--Target has food?!?!? No one told me that!
As for whatever is ailing your Kansas City Target, I am on the first flight out to talk to Senior Corporate Management to fix this for you. And I am bringing cookies. And wine. :)
best,
MOV
Target was REALLY nice to me the last time I was there.
ReplyDeleteI'm really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one today.
ReplyDeleteMy homepage :: venezuela
But did they have your dark chocolate marzipan? I have two packages here that I picked up for you a few weeks ago at our Target...they are still in unwrapped packages...for now...
ReplyDeleteTarget is opening a few stores in Canada. When (if?) I ever set foot in one, I will observe a moment of silence and think of you before stepping in.
ReplyDeleteLucky girl! Enjoy!
ReplyDelete