Friday, February 18, 2011

336. Self-Imposed Computer Exile

I have discovered an inviting land (you have probably been there, too), and that land is called: If I Get On My Computer I Will Waste Five Hours. Why why why do I continue to go to this corrupt place? A place where innocently “checking your email” or “updating the blog” can suck irreplaceable hours away from your life (when you could be doing Important Things, things like making dinner for your family or filing your tax return or catching up on TiVo’d episodes of House Hunters).

I have decided to take rash action against this Time Thief: as of right now, today, this instant, I resolve to only be on the computer every other day. You read that right: I’m cutting my computer time in half (if I could just cut my chocolate intake this cavalierly).

This new endeavor is sure to take willpower, willpower that I am confident I possess deep down (should I Google “willpower” to see if the experts have any helpful tips for accessing said willpower?). I used to get up almost every morning at 5 AM to go for a six mile run (well, I did it for about a week or so with my running group); I am sure I can do something as easy as not flipping the power button for the computer.

(Of course, if I need to Mapquest something, then that would be allowed no matter what day it is. Same goes for looking up reviews for a new restaurant. Or what time a movie is playing. Or if I need a recipe for lemon pound cake. Or the phone number for the car repair shop where I get my oil changed.)

Uh, wish me luck.

(“Mom’s Original Vice”)


  1. but you might miss something! like this comment! i am commenting right now, and you're not reading it! by the time you read this, the humor will be obsolete!

  2. Um, I think that would take way more willpower than sticking to my diet, which, by the way, hasn't been working out all that well.

  3. Oh God. Good luck. I've tried it, but I got my Macbook and I'm screwed because it can go almost anywhere with me, except on horse back. I am a computerholic. One cannot check mapquest and not take a peak at emails or blogs.

  4. Megan, Le'Ann, and Squishy,
    The willpower is holding up so far! (I did have to look up an address yesterday on my "computer-free" day, but I did not look at my blog or email! Yay for small victories!)


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