Monday, August 2, 2010

77. Parenting The House

My House is having very naughty behavior today, basically not listening to anything I say. Clean up the kitchen, I shout at House angrily. Nothing. Straighten up all this junk in the entry way, I demand. Nada. At least for goshsakes, pick up all these hundreds of stray shoes everywhere, I plead. No dice.

House seems to revel in ignoring me. I sense a subtle smirk.

That's it, House, if you are going to behave this way then we absolutely will NOT have any people over, I threaten with all the conviction of a small mouse. House shrugs indifferently. House does not care. Clean House, messy House, whatever. People can come over or not come over, doesn't matter to House.

I am losing my mind. Whatworkswhatworkswhatworks, I try to remember everything I know about effective parenting. Follow through: that is important. I call House's bluff.

You know what, House? We are NOT having people over today! Ha!

House smiles languidly. House is not really suffering at all, turns out House can just relax. And so can I.

("Masquerading Omits Visitors")


  1. My house has the same attitude. Is there some sort of help line we can call? Oh yeah, Merry Maids. That might do the trick.

  2. If I could only afford it............... (the blog pays zero, it's just my "hobby").

    ps--too bad cleaning is not my "hobby"

  3. Well, I'm with you, MOV. I cannot afford any housekeeping help (or any other kind of help for that matter) so we'll just continue to live in our cluttered, periodically presentable home. I do have people say that when they come over they feel welcome and it's "homey." So, I guess that's really the best thing.

    Sorry your blog doesn't pay. It should! Or,rather, you should get paid for your writing.


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