203. My 6-Year-Old Explains Basic English

So we’re sitting at the dinner table and Tall takes it upon himself to explain to us how to categorize the letter “Y”.

“Pop,” he begins, innocently enough, “did you know that in a lot of cases, the letter ‘Y’ is considered a valve?”

“A what?” I interrupt, trying hard not to smirk.

“It makes a sound like the ‘I-E’ combination, so therefore it is considered not to be a continent.”

“A continent?” Hand covering face now.

He ignores me. “Pop, do you know what year they declared the letter ‘Y’ to be both a continent and a valve? Was it 1997? I know it was a long time ago.”

The Husband cannot help himself and nearly snorts milk out his nose. He says the first thing he can think of. “Tall, I believe it was longer ago than that.”

“Oh, you’re right. Yeah, yeah, I think it was 1992. Does that sound right?”

I must hear him say these things again. “1992 was the year for what exactly, Tall?”

Heavy sigh. Mom is so stupid. “Moooooooommmmmmm. You KNOW what I was talking about! Why do you do that?! 1992 was the year that the letter ‘Y’ was offensively considered to be both a VALVE and a CONTINENT! I wish you would pay attention and get it right the first time so you wouldn’t have to keep asking me!”

Don’t worry, Tall. I’ll wait until tomorrow to ask you again. I’ll just keep playing it over and over in my brain until then.

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("Magnitude Of Valves")