916. The Day I Joined Facebook (hint: today)

After much pressure from the co-author of my new book, Epic Mom (available on Amazon, thanks for asking), I finally gave in and joined Facebook.  Let me start off by saying I have no idea what I am doing.  Giving me a Facebook account is equivalent to giving an 8-year-old the keys to your car and saying, “And please try to drive the speed limit.”
 
Yeah, baby, I crashed and burned on the freeway of Facebook. 

First, I could not for the life of me figure out how to load my profile picture.  And normally I am pretty good with that stuff.  I ended up having to email my co-author and beg her to put the photo up, which she did because she felt sorry for me (or so I would stop pestering her every five minutes). 

Next, Facebook courteously informed me that I already had 27 people who wanted to be my friend.  I was really surprised, seeing as how most of these people lived in Peru.  But Peru seems like a country I would want to visit (you never know), so I clicked “Yes” on all their requests. 

After that, Facebook realized that I was actually a Facebook Pro and not the mere novice that FB had first assumed.  Facebook kicked it into high gear and said, “Would you like to be friends with everyone you have ever met in your entire life?” 

Ack!  No, no, no-no-no-no-no-no.  I started hyperventilating.  That would be really bad. 

Facebook laughed and said, “Kidding!  How about we start easy and just be friends with everyone in your personal email address book?” 

Now that didn’t seem so scary.  I didn’t want to be rude to Facebook, seeing as how we were in this new relationship and all (speaking of which, why did FB say I got married today when I was trying to say that my status was "Married"?  I was not trying to say that there was a wedding today, just that I was already married!  Suddenly, many Peruvians were sending me “Likes” and sweet little congratulations messages).  I decided that if someone as knowledgeable and informed as FB was wanted to suggest that I be friends with everyone in my virtual address book, well, then that must be a good idea. 

I forgot that my dentist was on my email list. 

And my chiropractor’s secretary. 

American Express. 

The lady I bought handmade Christmas ornaments from at that craft fair three years ago. 

My plumber. 

The vice-principal of my sons’ preschool from five years ago. 

A priest from a church that we don’t even go to. 

Apparently, my email list is pretty darn social. 

So yes, I crashed my new Facebook car. 

Someone please take away my keys. 

MOV
P.S. If you want to “friend” me on Facebook, then my name over there is MOV Harrison.  Oh, and I am 23 years old (Facebook didn’t ask for my driver’s license). 
NEWS UPDATE:  Facebook just sent me a nasty email saying that I must stop sending Friend requests to people I don't know or I will be blocked!  Ha!  Facebook is pretty fickle, eh?