Tuesday, August 7, 2012

825. Gifted

I love gifts.  I love going to the store and finding just the right present for someone, that perfect thing that makes you say Aunt Becky will love this!  At that point, the search is over, but I might still be looking just a little bit in case I find something better.  Don’t get me wrong, I have already bought the first thing and mentally wrapped it up, but if I find a second thing, then there is always Christmas or the next birthday. 

I adore wrapping presents.  I get a contact high when I walk into tiny boutiques that exclusively sell wrapping supplies.  I love elegant wrapping paper, thick silky ribbons, and handmade cards.  If it has to do with making the gift look pretty on the outside, I want it.  Wrapping paper is sort of the lipstick and eye-shadow of the present.  Sure, it’s what’s inside that counts, but a little mascara never hurt anyone. 
I also enjoy receiving gifts.  I love the idea that someone thought about me enough to go out and find something that they thought reflected my personality. 

Sometimes people buy me something that I already have, like a green and blue sea-glass necklace from Nordstrom or a new hardback book that I have just finished reading.  In that situation, I am grateful that they know me so well that they are that familiar with my exact taste to buy me an identical item to one that currently resides on my coffee table or in my jewelry box. 
The Husband does not share my love of all things gift.  When an anniversary approaches, he cringes.  When my birthday is a week away, he panics.  When the kids’ birthdays are upon us, he hands me his credit card and says, “Please buy them something they’ll like.”   

Is it any surprise that The Husband and I do not exchange gifts? 
It happened slowly, it’s not like after a year of dating he said, I will never buy you a box of Godiva chocolates so get over it.  He was very good about gifts in the beginning. 

But the next thing you know, you are buying a house and having a baby and you have enough money to buy what you need, so extra gifts become superfluous.  Who gets the gifts, then?  The house gets the gifts.    
“No, Sweetie, we just got a new stove—I don’t need a present.” 

“New air conditioning was expensive.  We don’t really have money for gifts now.” 
“I’d rather have a new tile backsplash.  Let’s install that and not do gifts this time.” 

Before you know it, you have been married a dozen years with no Tiffany jewelry to show for it.  No cashmere sweaters wrapped in silver Nordstrom boxes, no leather purses from Coach under the Christmas tree, no box of handpicked candy in an adult-sized Easter basket. 
Sometimes I get wistful, thinking how nice it would be if The Husband surprised me with flowers or a gold bracelet or a pretty picture frame. 

But then I look out the kitchen window while I am putting away the dinner dishes, and I see him playing soccer with our boys.  They run, they jump, they kick.  They high-five each other and cheer.  
I receive gifts every day.  Not the kind to display on my coffee table, the kind to keep safe in my heart. 



  1. Very sweet. Thanks for the reminder. :)

  2. Perfect, the best gifts are ones we cannot hold in our hands.

  3. My wife and I are in the exact same boat. Sometimes I do wish we exchanged gifts more, but with two kids, having one less thing to do is always a gift in itself.

  4. I could not have said it better myself. The Scouser and I don't really exchange gifts either. We've had too many years of needing new water heaters, needing new appliances, new roof, etc.

  5. I am neither "into" receiving gifts nor buying gifts. I just don't need or desire much so I feel like it is wasteful. It's not that I don't want to give gifts but I always torture myself as to what is a perfect gift for that person. That takes the fun out of it... worrying if that is what they would really want or need. I do love to wrap though. There is nothing prettier than heavy paper packages with pretty handmade bows made out of wired ribbon.

    My husband loves buying gifts and he comes home often with surprises. Again, I adore the effort but I have lots of little boxes with jewelry I seldom wear. My watch, my engagement ring, my wedding ring and an anniversary ring are what I wear 100 percent of the time.

    Having a good husband and happy children...that is an uber cool gift for sure.

  6. MOV, you are SO right on. We have been conditioned to "spend" endlessly on "gifts" and made to feel guilty if we do NOT. After a few dozen years together, the REAL gifts are absolutely free and have been paid for a LONG time ago with love, dignity, and the wedding alter. ":)

  7. I would rather give a gift than receive one, I never know what to say and it just feels awkward but I so know what your talking about with kid's and other things that come first and the gift giving slowly fades away. At my house it was the opposite, my ex louse was the one who loved giving gifts, I hated it so I was the one always in a panic come anniversary or birthday time.

  8. But watching that while eating marzipan chocolate from Target wouldn't be awful...seriously, this was lovely!

    1. HA! and this is why you are sooooooooo my new best friend! :)

  9. sweet MOV :) My hubby and I rarely exchange gifts either these days. Reality seems to get in the way. The last "shiny" thing he gave me came after our daughter's birth. Gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring. My baby blues/push present. Of course he so kindly pointed out that I didn't push out either of our children...

  10. I love getting presents. I can't help it. I'm a jerk. But yeah... the running and jumping with the kids is nice too. ;)

  11. I love giving gifts & I put so much thought into them . I was once told give a gift that you would want yourself.... yes I give alot of chocolate LOL My husband gave great gifts in the beginning now he panics too & well it just seems so wasteful to me and un-necessary so I always say please no gifts unless it is See's candy, its a win win that way!

  12. It wasn't until I was in a committed relationship that I finally understood my mom's anger when she found out I had picked out every gift (including lingerie) from my step dad for 90% of their marriage. 10 years of thoughtful, intimate gifts given by your daughter...yeah, that'll piss you off!

    Princess WeeWee

    P.S. This would be an Ex-Stepdad


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