I bought a
floppy beach hat today. It is 22 degrees
out.
My purchase is
partially wishful thinking that the weather will tropicate overnight.
But even if
it did—what then? I am not a floppy
beach hat girl. I wish I was. I so want to be her. I imagine myself languorously drifting into
the local market, embellished with the floppy beach hat.
People I don’t
know would whisper about me behind my back:
“She is wearing a floppy beach hat.
Therefore, her life must be perfect in that casual not-trying-too-hard
kind of way.”
I want
people to think I am not trying too hard.
But I am
actually trying really hard.
I own a
black coat with a fake fur collar. For floppy
beach hat girl. I also have a pair of
5-inch stilettos acquired on trip to New Zealand two decades ago.
I have worn
the shoes exactly once.
Floppy beach
hat girl would wear those shoes to go see the dentist.
You know she
would.
Floppy beach
hat girl is fearless. She wears what she
wants, when she wants. She doesn’t agonize
before leaving the house if she is dressed appropriately and then ultimately put
on jeans and a Target t-shirt (again) just so she can look like a suburban
soccer mom. No. Floppy beach hat girl will wear bracelets
made of rubber bands (bestowed upon her by her 7-year-old) with an evening gown
to go to her husband’s work party. She
dresses for herself, not caring what others think one way or another.
I take a cue
from floppy beach hat girl. I put on
black corduroy pants, a pink sweater, and a crazy wood necklace shaped like
arrows that I bought at a second-hand store in LA. I lace up chunky leather boots. I look in the mirror and smile.
As we are
about to leave, my snarky 4th grader groans, “You’re not wearing that, are you, Mom?”
I zip back
to my closet and change. Jeans and a sweatshirt. No necklace.
Floppy beach
hat girl will have to wait another day.
MOV
Most 4th grade boys do have impeccable taste when it comes to accessorizing...hee hee hee...Having a 13 year old girl, I am afraid to leave the house at all!
ReplyDeleteIn my mind, you're always Floppy Beach Hat Girl, MOV, fourth graders be darned with the Curse of Inconvenient Things for even suggesting otherwise!
ReplyDeleteFloppy Beach Hat Girl would have smiled, thanked the urchin for the reminder and put on the hat.
ReplyDeleteNola Rice
No picture of floppy beach hat? Just as well you put it away. In my experience, preparing for good weather just curses you to suffer bad weather for another couple of months. This is why I never wear sunglasses. That and the fact I usually sit on and break them before they make it to my face.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why but the first thing that came to my mind after reading this was:
ReplyDeleteDo not taunt floppy beach hat girl.
My sister wore a ginormous floppy beach hat when we went to run a triathlon. She took it off before the race, but still. I wish it were floppy beach hat season here. Unfortunately we got another 5 inches of snow instead. No way could I wear 5-inch stilettos. I would fall and break my coworker. :/
ReplyDelete-andi