I click “Send” on the Evite and immediately regret it.
A tsunami of doubt pummels me. What if no one comes? What if I am sitting in the restaurant for an hour by myself after booking a group reservation and the busboys and servers all stand in the back mocking me and placing bets on how much longer I’ll wait?
I tell myself to stop agonizing over it, Of course people will come. This is a group that we started 10 years ago when we had tiny babies. We met for dinner once a month to get out of the house, away from husbands and cranky children. The group grew from 4 to over 50 at one point, and now has shrunk back down to somewhere in between.
I look forward to these dinners, to the comfort of being surrounded by women my age and to discussing the mundane and the profound while eating shrimp scampi that someone else cooks. These dinners keep me sane.
We take turns organizing, depending on who feel especially courageous. It is my turn now.
What if no one likes the restaurant I picked?
What if the restaurant lost our reservation?
What if the restaurant accidentally overbooked and never let me know?
What if it rains/ snows/ hurricanes so hard that everyone cancels?
All of these things have happened.
Deep breath, MOV, deep breath.
I turn the computer off, wondering if the Evite design I selected is enticing enough to get people to respond. And then I tell myself:
Shrimp scampi by myself is still delicious.