Friday, July 25, 2014

989. Would Aliens Be Such a Bad Thing?

After that last post, I started thinking (which is never good in my case).  I sorta trashed aliens in my post title, as if it would be horrible to be rescued taken by aliens. 

Let think about this rationally for a minute, shall we? 

Benefits to being abducted by aliens: 
  • No more cooking dinner/ doing dishes (which I hate anyway)
  • Could probably catch cat nap on long journey to Mars or wherever
  • Would learn secrets of the universe
  • No more having to be fake nice to neighbor who can't remember your name (you can't remember his either, but that's beside the point)
  • No more feeling guilty about not putting all kids' photos in something resembling an album
  • Off the hook for swim team carpool

Non-benefits to being abducted by aliens:
  • Might miss new episode of Project Runway (do flying saucers get cable?)

So, I would respectfully like to re-title my last post.  Henceforth, we can refer to it as "MOV Was Not Abducted by Aliens (But Would Not Mind Too Much if That Were the Case)."



  1. Well I am sure the aliens hovering above your neighborhood feel much better now that you have clarified your position.

    1. I might paint "ALIENS WELCOME" on my roof. That should clarify it too.

  2. I can think of more non-benefits than benefits - but then again none of those stopped Captain Kirk from trying to cop off with every female alien he could find.




    1. Oh, like I probably would never see my family again and also they might not have ice cream on Mars. I get what you're saying.

  3. In a defense of your neighbor, it's probably weird for them to be calling you MOV. It's weird, MOV. Maybe have them refer to you as Massive Octane Valedictorian. And then slowly back away when they ask what the heck that means. Because they will remember something like that so much easier.

    1. Murderous Ostrich Virtuoso? That is a possibility too.........


When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)