I just got back from the hairdresser. A new hairdresser.
Let’s kill the suspense, shall we? The hair results were successful. I do not want to complain about my hair.
What I want to focus on is the small talk. You know how you are in a situation where you have to converse with someone for a long time about something completely benign? A situation like meeting someone for the first time at a party or being stuck next to a Chatty Cathy on the airplane? Here are some things my new hair lady and I discussed:
- Have you been watching the Olympics/ what’s your favorite sport
- Can you believe this weather/ I am so ready for Spring
- Have you seen any good movies lately/ do all theaters have reserved seating now
- Are you planning a vacation any time soon/ where do you want to go
- How long have you been working here/ do you like it
- Did you always know you wanted to be a hairdresser
- Are there any restaurants you recommend in this mall
- Are you from this area originally
At the end of the three hours, my brain was fried. Then I walked out into the fluorescence of mall lighting and ran right into a neighbor of mine.
After greeting me enthusiastically and getting my name right (wish I could say I got her name right, but I grappled with, “Is it Julianne or Juliet???” so I opted for the more neutral, “Hey … you!”), she launched into a round of “Have you been watching the Olympics?” and “Can you believe this weather?”
I couldn’t do it. My head bobbed up and down politely while I tried to force myself to make intelligent comments about teenagers riding snowboards and wiping out in Sochi. Make small talk, I told myself, Say something smart!
There was nothing left in the gas tank. Nothing. Julianne/Juliet finally looked at me sympathetically and said, “You seem tired, is everything okay?” to which I simply responded, “Did you always know you wanted to be a hairdresser?”