MOVarazzi

Thursday, February 20, 2014

985. Small Talk


I just got back from the hairdresser.  A new hairdresser. 
Let’s kill the suspense, shall we?  The hair results were successful.  I do not want to complain about my hair.        
What I want to focus on is the small talk.  You know how you are in a situation where you have to converse with someone for a long time about something completely benign?  A situation like meeting someone for the first time at a party or being stuck next to a Chatty Cathy on the airplane?  Here are some things my new hair lady and I discussed:    

  • Have you been watching the Olympics/ what’s your favorite sport
  • Can you believe this weather/ I am so ready for Spring
  • Have you seen any good movies lately/ do all theaters have reserved seating now
  • Are you planning a vacation any time soon/ where do you want to go
  • How long have you been working here/ do you like it
  • Did you always know you wanted to be a hairdresser
  • Are there any restaurants you recommend in this mall
  • Are you from this area originally

At the end of the three hours, my brain was fried.  Then I walked out into the fluorescence of mall lighting and ran right into a neighbor of mine.
After greeting me enthusiastically and getting my name right (wish I could say I got her name right, but I grappled with, “Is it Julianne or Juliet???” so I opted for the more neutral, “Hey … you!”), she launched into a round of “Have you been watching the Olympics?” and “Can you believe this weather?” 
I couldn’t do it.  My head bobbed up and down politely while I tried to force myself to make intelligent comments about teenagers riding snowboards and wiping out in Sochi.  Make small talk, I told myself, Say something smart!
There was nothing left in the gas tank.  Nothing.  Julianne/Juliet finally looked at me sympathetically and said, “You seem tired, is everything okay?” to which I simply responded, “Did you always know you wanted to be a hairdresser?”
MOV    

13 comments:

  1. Three hours at the hairdresser? What in the world did she do to you?
    Small talk can be so exhausting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was just a cut and highlights, but I do have long hair. I guess 3 hours IS a bit excessive, eh? especially when I got home and realized there were random chunks of my bangs longer than others (question: if I have to "touch up" the cut she gave me, shouldn't she be paying ME???).

      Delete
  2. Making Obligatory Vocals, small talk would be more fun if you only spoke nonsense. That's what I do, anyway...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what kind of nonsense? gibberish? can I make up my own language? oooh, this might be fun! thank you!!!

      Delete
  3. I'm guilty of the "hey..you" myself.

    I hate that awkward small talk. I just went through it with my tax lady.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ugh, tax lady. that is the worst. "Sooo....... you have any good deductions lately?" or "Taken any interesting new seminars on Tax Law?"

      (yawn) I could NEVER be an accountant!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  4. I hate making small talk while getting my hair cut. I usually just sit silently and pray the hair cutterer doesn't say anything. Getting my hair cut also makes me sleepy so that doesn't help the situation any either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christian, that is a good way to get stabbed. Or get a really bad haircut.

      DO NOT FALL ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This has been a public service announcement.

      Delete
  5. Thankfully I've been seeing the same hairdresser for about 10 years so we have lots to talk about. Three hours of small talk would make me lose my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  6. beautiful blog :)...keep in touch..plz join my blog
    http://9shonalimukherji9.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Can't even imagine it. I visited a hair salon last month, for the first time in my life (to get my oldest son a haircut, not me). I wear mine long and straight, and just get my mother-in-law to even the ends every six months or so. You are not inspiring me to become a normal female!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh yes...I like the gibberish idea. Or you could speak in Piglatin. That usually does the trick.

    -andi

    ReplyDelete
  9. I hate small talk too, but we all have to engage in it sometimes. I find that if you ask questions and get a person to talk about themselves (which people love to do) you can find out some really interesting and entertaining things!

    ReplyDelete

When you forget to leave a comment, Aliens might decide to kidnap you. Just sayin'.