MOVarazzi

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

967. That Anthropologie Dress


In a departure from financial reality, I wandered into Anthropologie.  A cobalt silk dress with a geometric pattern beckoned.    

The sale price was in the realm of my Checkbook Acceptance Program.  Why had no one snatched up this gorgeous dress yet?  I decided to try it on.    
The dress made me appear tall where I was short, and skinny where I was fat.  I petted the smooth fabric, and that’s when I realized what it was really made of:  magic.  I imagined I was Cindy Crawford.    

There was a problem:  Cleavage.  This dress had mistaken me for a Playboy playmate or possibly a hooker, and dipped down lower than I had allowed my college boyfriend. 
But honestly, on sale?  Anthropologie?  Magic silk Cindy Crawford dress? 
Maybe I could pin it. 

I noticed the salesgirl was wearing a rather low-cut top herself. 

“I’d like to buy this,” I said, handing her the dress. 
“I love this!  I tried it on, but didn’t buy it because it was too …”

Her words hung in the air, like saline implants. 
“The dress was too what?”

“Never mind.”    
I swiped my debit card while she wrapped my new dress in crinkly silver tissue paper.  In my head, my environmentally-conscious sister whispered, “You don’t need any tissue paper!  Save baby whales from forest fires!”  Instead I asked the girl if I could have extra tissue paper because the dress looked fragile. 

And let’s be honest:  it was an expensive dress, I deserved a few sheets of tissue paper. 
I wore the dress to work the next day. 

When it was lunch time, I ordered my usual deli salad, Coke, and a brownie.  I watched the clerk give me the largest brownie from the tray and put extra ice in my drink. 
“Sir,” I gasped, “I forgot my wallet!  Can you cancel my order?” 

He handed me my order anyway. 
“Don’t worry about it, miss,” he grinned wide.  “It’s on the house.” 



This might be my lucky dress. 
MOV****
trifecta writing challenge/ I have modified a story I wrote a while ago/ 333 words (including the word in the picture), required word is "appear"

34 comments:

  1. Wow, that dress definitely is magical!! I need one of those!!

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  2. "There was a problem: Cleavage. This dress had mistaken me for a Playboy playmate or possibly a hooker, and dipped down lower than I had allowed my college boyfriend."

    I love this! You've totally made me smile today!!

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  3. haha and to think you got it on sale!

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  4. I loved this post! Such a good find that dress made of magic!

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  5. Ha!!!! I'm hoping this really happened and isn't fiction. This is too great of a story to not be true.

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  6. How fun is this? A magic dress that dips when you need it to. hehehhe Love it!

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  7. Ooh, la la!! I could use a magic dress, would you mind whipping one up for me? :)
    tm

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  8. Haha! Loved this post! Is it true?

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  9. Her words hung in the air like saline implants. I laughed out loud! Great line! I also liked save baby whales from forest fires. Too funny! I'm that eco person who refuses the tissue paper - hence my delight in your mention of it. Sounds like the dress will pay for itself over time!

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  10. I would like to borrow that dress if you don't mind. Funny.

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  11. "Her words hung in the air, like saline implants." Heh. Brilliant simile. :)

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  12. Ahahaaha! That's hilarious. I loved the shift in perspective. I want a Cindy Crawford magic dress.

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  13. hahaha, now that's magic! and i loved the part about the tissue paper and baby whales. excellent choice of words.

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  14. Hehehe..nothing better than a dress than gets you a free Coke and brownie...I'd say that dress is worth its weight in gold...or saline.

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  15. Uh oh! Very funny. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

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  16. Yea..free brownies!
    Blessings, Joanne

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  17. And I've always heard there's no such thing as a free lunch.

    One question: can I borrow your dress?

    I need to take my car in for some maintenance and that dress might save me a some money (if it didn't get me fired) :)

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  18. A great story - really funny and sharp. I especially like the line 'Save baby whales from forest fires!'
    Claire

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  19. Love this. The occasional cleavage day is worth it!

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  20. Still smiling! Really well written, very sharply done!

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  21. Haw haw haw. Love this piece. Will have to head out to that store myself and look for a magical dress.

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  22. Hanging in the air like saline implants. Geez... (:

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  23. Free desserts? I'd wear that dress to threads.

    Thank you for linking up!

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  24. That dress is going to pay for itself!

    Greetings from Minneapolis,

    Pearl

    p.s. Are you always this funny? I hope so -- I've added you to my blogroll. :-)

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  25. I love the humour in this, specially 'In my head, my environmentally-conscious sister whispered, “You don’t need any tissue paper! Save baby whales from forest fires!” Instead I asked the girl if I could have extra tissue paper because the dress looked fragile.' :)

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  26. I have had dresses that have paid for themselves in the past :) It was totally worth the investment
    -Heidi

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  27. Very funny! This is my first time at your site - i love the little drawings you add to the posts.

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  28. fave line: "dipped down lower than I had allowed my college boyfriend."

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  29. Save the baby whales from forest fires! is such a perfect line.
    Very funny piece : )

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  30. Hahaha! This is awesome! I have a dress like that too. Sometimes I have to work up the courage to wear it!

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  31. I'm no fashion crackerjack but this sounds like the greatest dress ever.

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  32. I used to have a dress like that. Good times. What a hilarious post. I will be giggling long into the night.

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  33. wow-- thanks to all who wrote! I really appreciate your awesome comments!!!

    xxo
    MOV

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)