MOVarazzi

Monday, May 6, 2013

955. Biking Is My Thing

When that guy in the red jersey ran over me for a second time, I knew it was a bad idea to start biking.  Sure, the flashing sign had been enticing (“Biking!  All Levels!  You can participate and race other bikers of varying abilities!”), but I should’ve known it was some sort of athletic scam. 

I got up, noticed how attractive I still was in my tight pink jersey and cute new helmet (they had picked it out for me, and I was secretly happy for the nod to safety-consciousness even under these circumstances), and then I started to ride again. 
That’s right about the time I crashed into a stone wall.  I fell over (duh), but immediately got back up to race again.  But why were all the other bikers speeding toward me? 

I guess they were new here, too. 
Out of my peripheral vision, I noticed a red arrow flashing—what the hell did that mean?  Apparently, it meant for me to stop and turn around, because naturally I was the one going the wrong way. 

I decided to take a break, but of course that was not allowed here.  Maybe that was the penalty for lying about my weight and age in the beginning when they first asked. 
Get up, keep going, race. 

Most of the course was downhill (I was thankful for small favors at this point), and in the distance I could see the ocean.  Pacific?  Atlantic?  Mediterranean?  Who knows.  It was gray and calm, but looked like it had perhaps just rained. 
I passed a few people on the way down (one I biked through, like a ghost), and then, miraculously, I won the race.  Even after falling.  Even after going the wrong way.  Even after forgetting to steer for about half the race. 

The trainer walked by soon after this.  “Hey, MOV, how do you like the virtual biking?” 
I smiled at him, and told him what he obviously already knew:  “Biking is in my blood.” 

MOV


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trifecta writing challenge/ the word is "blood"/ exactly 333 words

34 comments:

  1. That was hilarious and quite unexpected at the end - coming from a "cyclist" who just crashed her bike a month ago *shakes fist at sudden stops* - I'd highly recommend the "virtual" route:)
    Cheers!
    Sam

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    1. thanks! glad I could make you laugh.

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  2. Ha! This sounds like our family Wii biking events. There are crashes, slips on banana peels, careening off cliffs, etc. Thankfully we all survive to "ride" another day.

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  3. I'm always confused about gaming systems that have you do athletic things that you would normally do with your feet. It's as if they want you to sit and raise your feet with some sort of adhesive keeping the controller attached to them...Or when they have the pad that you do jumping events on that you cannot actually jump on, but only pretend...Isn't it so much easier to just do the physical activities themselves (other than bowling, because everyone knows bowling is better on a screen)? Then again, I suppose you'll miss the helpful arrows that tell you you're going in the wrong direction. And yes, the cute pink outfits...

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    1. You are so right, Tony! In this case, I was truly at a gym and on a real bike with real pedals. There was a TV-like apparatus attached to the front above the handlebars and that is where you program on everything they ask for. It truly was an exhausting "race" because it is an actual bike. I just was not prepared for the virtual "me" to hit a wall and "fall off." HA!
      Best,
      MOV

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  4. Great story! I love your style sense of humor.

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  5. You built it up great, but you didn't fool me in the end. Maybe because I bike myself, but I would *not* wear pink jerseys.

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    1. I know, right? The pink is a little Barbie retro (unless it is Breast Cancer Awareness, and THEN I am totally onboard with pink).

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  6. Hahaha...virtual biking - good one! Virtual is about the only way I would go because I'd end up dead beside the road if I tried it in 'real life' :)

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    1. I have good ideas about biking, but reality is a different story........

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  7. That was hilarious. You had me going until the end, good one!

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  8. This sounds like my kind of biking, I really enjoyed this, thank you LM x

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  9. Nice twist! :) Thanks for the giggle.

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  10. What would I do in my virtual life? Hmmmm! A porn star, perhaps? Climb Mount Everest? Eat bacon in the sunshine without my lovely children swarming around me for a few, precious, peaceful minutes? Hard to say. But, one thing I know is that I would not try virtual cycling because I don't want to have to work that hard in my fantasies. :)
    Thanks for writing one of the funniest stories I have had the pleasure to read on Trifecta in quite some time. It made my morning complete. Thanks. Happy trails.

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    1. thanks! I appreciate the nice compliment.

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  11. Maybe I play video games too much because at the mention of the red arrow I instantly thought she was in some sort of game haha :D Great piece!

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    1. ah, the red arrow gave it away.........

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  12. Very funny. I suddenly understand the allure of virtual games!

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  13. What a great take on the prompt! Fun to read and I love the voice it's written in.

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  14. Well, that was fun! My favorite part of the entire piece is your commentary on the 'athletic scam." That's EXACTLY what I think every time I hear of a 5k for 'all ability levels!' It's not for all ability levels, and I can prove that to you. :-) Thanks for linking up, MOV. Our linkz look better with you in them.

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    1. awwwww, shucks. Nice of you to say. Glad to be back.

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)