MOVarazzi

Monday, March 4, 2013

912. Guilt Scout Cookies

I love Girl Scout cookies.  I always have, ever since a third-grade me first donned that green polyester uniform and pestered my busy mother to sew more patches on my sash.  I can’t remember what flavors we had back then, but I know Thin Mint was one of them. 

A few years ago, when I was working a United flight (wearing a navy blue uniform this time—what is it about me and uniforms?), a passenger and I started chatting and I noticed that she had a certain famous logo of a certain famous cookie and snack food company embroidered on her polo shirt.  I am not at liberty to reveal the name on her logo, but I can tell you it rhymed with “Sheebler.” 
“We make all the Girl Scout cookies,” she confided in me with a furtive quick glance to her left, as if I might divulge such company secrets to the general public over the PA system along with the landing announcements, or perhaps write about it later on, say, a blog (not that there were such things as blogs back then, and if there were, no one besides Mark Zuckerberg knew about them), “but I am not supposed to tell you that.” 

I nodded solemnly to indicate that I would take such valuable and confidentially secret crucial cookie  information to my grave.  Right after we landed three hours later, I bounced merrily off my flight and immediately called The Husband at work. 
“Guess-what-guess-what-you’ll-never-guess!” I blurted out in my trademark enthusiasm for sharing information I was never meant to receive.  “I had some big wig from some big company on my flight, and now I know who makes Girl Scout cookies!” 

“Were you working first class?” he interrupted. 
“Huh?  No.  Coach.” 

“Why would a big wig fly coach?” he asked, ruining the momentum of my story.  “If it was a true big big wig, then wouldn’t they fly first class?” 
“That is not the point.  Maybe she did not have enough miles for the upgrade.  Whatever.  Who cares?  The point is, now we can buy this brand of cookies and get a reasonable facsimile of Thin Mints any time we want!  No more waiting until March!” 

Instead of cheering into the phone like I had anticipated, he let out a deep sigh.  “This is why you called me?  MOV, I’m at work.” 
I hate it when The Husband is not as supportive of my chocolate addiction as he should be. 

When he got home from work later that evening, I reiterated my Life Changing Moment from my flight earlier that day.  Fake Thin Mints!  Any time we want!  Right now, in August! 
“Why would you do that?” he inquired, shaking his head as if I had recommended stealing the neighbors’ newspaper instead of buying our own (in my defense, I had only recommended that once, and I was joking.  Sort of.).  “Don’t you want to support those poor little Girl Scouts, MOV?  Hey wait, I thought you used to be a Girl Scout?”   

“Sweetie, of course I want to support them, but—”
“If you buy your special cookies all the time, they won’t be special anymore.  The reason they are so great is because they are only available for a limited amount of time.  It is like a giant psychological experiment, and the cookies always win.” 

Cookies always win?  This was the first smart thing he’d said all day. 
In the end, I opted to follow his advice every year and wait until Girl Scout cookie time to buy them.  I convinced myself that the reason was to help the Girl Scouts.

Yesterday evening, an entrepreneurial Girl Scout knocked on our door demanding $36 for cookies that we had pre-ordered, like the good neighbors that we are.  I took the cookies, handed her a check that I had taped to the inside of my front door two days ago (what had taken her so long?!), and politely waited for her to leave. 
When she left, I ate four sleeves of Thin Mints.  I like to help people, and this might be the best way for me to give back. 

MOV

28 comments:

  1. You are a giver indeed! Every year I have a moment of silence for the Scot-teas from our scouting days. They were the shortbread with the coarse ground sugar...the plain trefoils just aren't the same! (You would think at some point in my five years of being a troop leader I would've gotten those girls to do my bidding to get the Burry Baking company to bring back my faves!) I am relieved for your sake that you don't have cases of "extra" cookies looking for homes in your dining room like we used to!

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    1. hmmmmm..... we could lovingly and helpfullyish store extra cookies in our dining room. Give give give!!

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  2. Oh those cookies!! My girls have been in GS since they were little and cookies are a big part of every year. Addicting and easy to sell! I don't know how big a secret it is though - on the bottom of the order form there's a disclaimer letting people know that certain cookies are owned by Nabisco.

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    1. I have never seen an order form. I order verbally. This is to prevent me from adding extra zeroes to the quantity with an "accidental" slip of the pen.

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  3. Yep, the cookies always win. Always. I bought cookies from 3 Girl Scouts this year. I don't really know what I was thinking except that I feel like I should be supportive. Ugh.

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  4. I have had to give up sugar. Please kill me now.

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    1. you are not my friend any more.

      NO SUGAR?????????? are you not American???????

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  5. We don't have girl scout cookies in the UK. I'm guessing they are cookies sold by girl scouts, rather than made from girl scouts, or shaped like girl scouts. That might be weird.

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    1. that would be fun if they were all 3-- made by girl scouts, shaped like girl scouts (like there faces? like a whole person--similar to a gingerbread man?), and sold by them. ha!

      and what does England have instead that is similar to the GS phenomenon?

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  6. Mint Obsessed Villager, if you freeze them (because they're better that way), you can still buy them in March and have them all year long, and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

    And that's one to grow on.

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    1. Mint Obsessed Villager! love that!

      (and of course I freeze them, but I do not have the willpower to wait that long. they are gone in 2 days)

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    2. What you can do then is give one sleeve to several neighbors or friends to HIDE in their freezers and present to you at important times of the year. Like August. That's important, right?

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    3. not sure if any of my friends are good enough friends to ask that favor. "jennifer, uh, could you please WATCH these cookies for me for a couple months?"

      the crumbs on their faces would give them away.......

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  7. Lucky you. Girl Scout Cookie direct sales don't start where I'm at for another 2 and a half weeks.

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    1. my heart breaks for you. I will send you cookied FedEx right now.

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  8. I like frozen thin mints with milk. I start, and I can't stop. I'm a danger to myself.

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. Confession time, I'm not a fan of them (GS cookies) but I always buy boxes to donate to the troops :)

    betty

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    1. wh- wh- what?????? not a fan?????? what??????? what has your doctor said about your tastebuds? are you forced to only eat healthy fresh things like broccoli and apples? the horror!

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  10. I can't even make a succint comment because I'm too busy drooling into a bucket...mmmmm....

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  11. I've tasted the 'fake'Samoas, and maybe it's in my head, but they aren't as good as the Girl Scout ones.
    (I was so excited to see you put my picture on the top of your blog. Thanks!)

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    1. after I read this, I googled what you are talking about. apparently, those are made with milk chocolate instead of the far superior dark chocolate.

      I notice these things.

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  12. What? Girl Scouts Cookies are made by K**blers? Oho! But then, I don't care! I bought three boxes the other week -- two chocolate thin mints and one trefoils -- from a little neighborhood girl. I love the cookies and only wish I had bought Samoas. I tried some of them at my neighbor's house and they are delicious.

    You have a lovely blog.

    Lorna

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    1. thanks, Lorna! And I am pretty darned addicted to Samoas. yummmmmmmm

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  13. For how much money I have given them in exchange for cookies I'm very thankful that the Girl Scouts are a decent organization. Because if they were an evil group, unfortunately I would still be buying their cookies. Daddy needs his Tagalongs.

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    1. Christian, do you define evil as making me gain 5 pounds (ok, 10)? Then yes, Girl Scouts might be classified as evil..........

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