MOVarazzi

Monday, October 8, 2012

862. Mirror, Mirror, Off the Wall

I’m not a vain person.  I don’t obsess about my appearance.  Sure, I briefly cared for just a few years (ages 14 to 36).  But once I became a mom, time I might’ve formerly wasted curling my hair or applying eye shadow seemed better spent napping. 

However, when we went to Disney World last week, the slightly narcissistic 25-year-old buried deep within me surfaced.  She whispered, “Check your lipstick.”  Who am I to argue with my former self? 
Imagine my dismay upon walking into the ladies’ room and discovering mirrors were conspicuously absent. 

No mirrors?  What?  Was Walt Disney secretly Amish? 
After noticing the lack of mirrors in five bathrooms in a row, I mustered the courage to confront a janitor.    

“Excuse me? Why are there no mirrors in the restrooms?” 
She laughed.  “We used to have them, years ago.  But in summer, the sinks were congested so we took them down.  There’s one mirror on the wall by the door.”

I glanced where she was pointing and saw the tiny mirror.  What was Disney so worried about?  It’s not as if I planned to set-up hot rollers and a cosmetics station to embark on a two-hour make-over.  I merely wanted to know if I had lettuce in my teeth or if my hair was sticking up funny.  You’d think The Husband would notify me of such visual defects.  Here you would be wrong. 
I was silently outraged.  How could Disney not have mirrors by the sinks?  Wasn’t Disney the one who had professional photographers lurking everywhere throughout the park? 

I did what I always do when upset:  complained to The Husband.  “Don’t you miss the mirrors?”  
“What are you talking about?”   

I filled him in on my extensive research.    
He shrugged.  “MOV, the men’s room has mirrors.” 

He was painfully oblivious to the implications for the other 50% of the population.  Vanity was dead.  Death swooped in to scare us, not at the Haunted House like promised, but in the ladies’ room. 
MOV
 
****
trifecta writing challenge:  333 word essay, the word is "Death"

24 comments:

  1. Wait, what? No mirrors? What were people doing in front of these mirrors? Maybe I don't want to know. That could be a fascinating sociological experiment.

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    1. Ooooh good idea! They should re-install mirrors... made with one-way glass. And cameras! Mwahahahahaha...

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  2. Ha ha ha ha. No mirrors. Maybe they don't want anyone saying, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

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    1. That is the greatest comment!! Wish I would of thought of that.

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  3. "I merely wanted to know if I had lettuce in my teeth or if my hair was sticking up funny."

    Unfortunately for me I also have to make sure I don't have any lettuce in my hair. I'm not going to let that happen again.

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  4. No mirrors??? Does this constitute some form of gender discrimination? I probably would never notice as I go with the stance that if I have lettuce in my teeth or my hair is sticking out, I am better off not knowing. Wouldn't want to feel self conscious on vacation.

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  5. I'm here by way of Trifecta.
    I had heard this, that Disney doesn't have mirrors in the ladies restroom. I must admit, that I am a very vain gal, even as the mother of twins, I tend to the "a little more lipstick, carry a small can of hairspray and a mascara with me" side of the fence. So I am so glad I also carry a small but important mirror in my purse. ;)

    I loved how you worked the word in, how it wasn't so much spooky as it was an ending, a fate worse than itself...

    I liked it.

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  6. That is so backward! I had no idea.

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  7. I'm too late for the "mirror, mirror" comment, but that's what came to mind. And what a death... the death of vanity! My first time here, thanks to Trifecta.... and I love your sense of play. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/10/09/psych-ward-visitor/

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  8. Ha! Love this piece - Love the image of the lettuce and the photographers lurking.

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  9. I would tell you, MOV...if you had lettuce or broccoli in your teeth. My hubby's the same (he truly is often oblivious). I think it's just a riot that there aren't any mirrors. I'm a wash the hands and hit the road kinda gal. Lipgloss can be applied while walking. Loved this light hearted play on Disney's blatant discrimination.

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  10. Very good. we were just at disney in June. I heard this too. I think it's very poignant and humorous how you laid this out. good work.

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  11. I know this is sad, but I was in disney in June. I dont remember there being no mirrors. ughh.. Guess that means I need another trip there to check it out.

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  12. You have confirmed all my beliefs about Disney, and its conglomerate enterprises. They are the grim reaper when it comes to your wallet. As you point out, the mirrors were taken down to avoid crowding. Buy hey, they could just spend some of your money and build larger women's restrooms, right?

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  13. Totally unexpected take on the prompt, but it works! Incidentally, what do vampires do when they think they have something in their teeth, I've often wondered (although I guess even they can see their reflections these days). Nice job!

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  14. I think they removed the mirrors to keep women in the parks spending money. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror after herding screaming children around the "Happiest Place on Earth" on a hot, humid July afternoon in Florida?? Yeah, I would go screaming back to my hotel also!!

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  15. Hmm-this makes me wonder. I was there a few years back and didn't even notice the lack of mirrors, but then, like you, I'm not much for them. Lovely piece.

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  16. Now if I ever get to Disney, I will obviously be able to focus on nothing other than why there are no mirrors! Ha!

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  17. What a clever take on the prompt. That is crazy. No mirrors!

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  18. I don't remember that from my Disney trip, how odd, but I do remember being harried with 3 kids and possibly never even went to the bathroom alone for that whole trip! Nicely done.

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  19. What a weird thing for them to do. Maybe they should have put in more mirrors to deal with the congestion. I probably wouldn't have even noticed.
    Thanks for bringing the funny. See you back soon.

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  20. That's so strange! You made me laugh with it though. :)

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