MOVarazzi

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

809. How To Break Up With Your Personal Trainer

Right before I got married in March of 2000, I decided I needed a little professional assistance in the arena of abs and biceps and all things wedding dress. 
I did what any nervous bride would do in my situation:  I hired a personal trainer.  I knew nothing about hiring a personal trainer, other than the basics of walking into the gym, telling the front desk guy I was getting married and needed to fit into a size 4 wedding gown, and could I start training yesterday?

The front desk guy matched me up with Sonja.  Sonja was buff.  Sonja was tough.  And Sonja was completely in love … with herself. 
Sonja helped me come up with a two-month (all my budget would allow) toning plan to look my absolute best.  The problem was, every time Sonja assigned me an exercise to do and I started to do it, I caught her gawking at herself in the mirror. 

It went beyond primping.  She would stare at her reflection like Narcissus.  It got to the point where I would have to interrupt her one-person love affair to get her to focus on who was paying her (me!): 

“Sonja?” I would inquire, “Excuse me, can you spot me on this rep and tell me if I am doing it right?” 


Every day I would go home and tell The (soon-to-be) Husband about my session with Sonja. 
“Should I fire her?  What do you think, Sweetie?  It is bizarre!  I mean, yeah, she looks great, but maybe she should focus on the client!” 
“MOV, I think you should get a new trainer,” said Sonja to me the next day.  “I am not seeing any progress with you.  You are not giving it your all—you are totally distracted about something.  I think you would be better off with Dan.” 
And that, my friends, is how Sonja fired me.  

MOV

17 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. I feel the same way with the girl that did my hair. It was so hard just not calling her anymore. I felt super guilty but I couldn't afford her services anymore!

    -The Spinsters

    A Spinster's Dating Encyclopedia
    http://aspinstersdatingencyclopedia.blogspot.com/

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    1. oh, breaking up with the hairdresser is the worst!

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  2. I know quite a few people like that. OK, now I need to go look at myself for a while. I'll be back.

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  3. Too funny. I agree with Spinster that's tough like firing the person who does your hair.

    I was a PT for several years until two years ago. Clients switch trainers all the time with no hard feelings. I find it very strange, however, that Sonja just looked at herself the whole time. What's with that? Into herself, I'd say. We have two trainers at our gym that I will catch doing that all the time and it grosses me out. Be happy you got fired, for sure!

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    1. I am happy I got fired, but I wish I had kept up with the regime........

      (*stops to eat more ice-cream*)

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  4. I love how the person with the problem is often the person who thinks YOU have a problem! I hope Sonja and Sonja went on to be very happy together.

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  5. Her mirror-image was jealous of you, because it caught you looking at her looking at her.

    Whoa.

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  6. Wow. Yet another reason for me to never hire a personal trainer. The first reason being that I don't want to. They scare me.

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    1. they are a little bit driven, aren't they?!

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  7. Ha! So funny. Maybe she was insulted because you spent too much time looking at your weights and not enough time looking at her.

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    1. ha! and I wish I did clay art, because this would be a much funnier post with clay people. :)

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  8. Narcissism, ignorance and arrogance -- the evil triplets. Gag. I'm glad you were fired and could move on to a less self-absorbed person.

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  9. Movie Star Celebrity Motivator-Personal Trainer NYC, ''I motivate you''. A master adviser.Image consultant date coach and business consultant. Servicing the client's tempered headquarters:http://motivationamust.com/. We are New York City best personal trainers, and suitable to service clients in any state.With the Body Crave (natural development program). home personal trainer.photo byhttp://www.mdjproductions.com/.

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  10. I am about to fire my own personal trainer which is sad b/c I've been training with him for 3 years, and I love him! The trouble is -he is too busy courting other newer clients and he is also running his own gym on the side, which would be grounds for my gym to fire him, since it is a conflict of interest. Anyhow - all I need is a qualified trainer to train me on Mondays. Is this so hard? Is this too much to ask? It seems that after awhile, all my friends who have trainers find themselves in the same boat. It's as if the old timers, who have been loyal and we change our schedule to accomodate our trainers, we get dumped on alot. It's time and I'm ready for a new guy! So long, old guy!!!

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)