MOVarazzi

Monday, May 28, 2012

782. Dear Clutter ...

Dear Clutter,

I want you out.  There, I said it. 
I know you probably thought I liked you, but the truth is:  I never have.  And it is not very nice of you to bring all your friends, especially Stray Papers, Extra Junk, Random Stuff, and Miscellaneous (I don’t know her last name, but you know who I’m talking about).  I am sick of hosting all of you.  It’s time to go. 

I might have mentioned once or a hundred times that I am a Virgo.  Which is why it makes me very uncomfortable to have you and your pals here so often. 
Surely there is somewhere else you could go?  I know how you like to—what do you call it— go “antiquing”?  I’ve seen you through the window of those second-hand stores; they like you there.  They need you there.  You are familiar to them. 

The Husband and I have had long discussions about you, and there is only one conclusion:  we hate you.  Now please leave.    

Love,
MOV
p.s. If you drive by and happen to notice that Empty Space has taken your place, try not to be offended.  

34 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Empty Space, Empty Space, come back!

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  2. ours has a migration pattern. Kitchen, dinning room, office, bedroom. It doesn't seem to leave the kids rooms though.

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    1. so true. never thought about the general path of destruction.

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  3. My clutter leaves and comes back again as the empty spaces seem to call out to be fulfilled.

    (when I follow the link from my feed reader to your page, it says this post does not exist. When I was here earlier I couldn't find it either. Hmmm strange blogger things going on today)

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    1. Hi Kait, I had taken the post down, but then I did end up reposting it. Thank you for reading it and commenting!! :)

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  4. I can so relate to that! I live with all boys. Anytime I straighten up, it comes back. Everything gets distributed randomly and then they wonder why they can't find anything...

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  5. Being a Libra, I'm happy when my clutter balances. My mine multiples like bunnies do! It's scary so I live in fear that we will be overtaken but I kind of like the excitement. Also, I have a tough time parting with anything as does my husband so, unfortunately, very little gets pitched.

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    1. Balanced clutter. Maybe I could live with that.

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  6. WAIT YOU HAVE CLUTTER PROBLEMS???? YIKES.....WILL ALL OF US BE INFECTED OR EFFECTED OR DISINFECTED OR ANYTHING WITH THE FECTED ATTACHED TO IT OMG I CAN'T HAVE NO CLUTTER HOW WILL I EXPLAIN THAT TO THE HUSBAND HE WILL NEVER BELIEVE I PICKED IT UP OFF THE INTERNET ...WAIT OR WILL HE??? I THINK I MIGHT BE ON TO SOMETHING HERE I HEAR A YARD SALE CALLING SEE YA..............

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    1. I wish I could get rid of clutter through the internet! I have not tried it yet........

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  7. I have clutter that's followed me through four moves--and I keep getting more. Ugh.

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  8. Couldn't agree with you more here, as I stare at the boxes and boxes of stuff that I still have to unpack in my new apartment.

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    Replies
    1. At least YOU have an excuse! You are exempt from standard clutter laws for 6 weeks. Enjoy!

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  9. Oh clutter, it's not you, it's - well, actually it is you.

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  10. Know what drives me crazy? The little bits of random stuff. For example, the small container in which we find a paper clip, a piece of Lego, a string, a rubber band, perhaps a stray coupon, a broken bit of something that someone wanted to save in order to attach it to said broken thing, dead batteries, etc. These bits are often not even in one place -- they are strewn throughout the house.

    And I agree with Ranch Mama about the pattern of the stuff, too. Like a big ol' circle of doom.

    *sigh*

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    1. oh, Couse, I hear ya! I could deal with a book or 2 off the shelf, it is just-- where do you put these itty bitty things that don't really have a home? (I know the answer-- the trash. And the second I throw it away will be the one when Tall says, "Where is that piece of Lego to finish my masterpiece, you know, the blue one?")

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  11. Dear MOV's clutter, please send us your forwarding address; we have some of your cousins here that are contagious and itching to go camp at your new house.
    We also have plastic containers with nails, screws, fittings, bits of wire, old-fashioned light bulbs, and a gazillion other interesting things, we'll send'em along, just for you! ":)

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    Replies
    1. Raymond, I think your plastic containers must be related to mine. Let's see if we can get them all together at a Clutter Family Reunion -- and then we'll all drive away quickly leaving them behind.

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    2. ha! a clutter family reunion! (at least there will be a big turn-out.......)

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  12. I gave you an award at my blog!

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    1. Thank you so much, Gina! You are great!

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  13. lovely blog...if you want we can following each other??? http://comeduegoccedacqua.blogspot.it/

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  14. My worst thing is mail. I don't know how to organize the junk from potential good mail. I always have this growing, breathing, monstrous pile of mail.

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    1. It is growing and breathing, isn't it? You should write a post about that, Tracie! ha!

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  15. Clutter and I have not been friendly for years. In fact, I have been been estranged from him/her for a quite a while. When he/she occassionally tries to contact me, it makes me cranky. Paper clutter is the worst.

    (BTW...your topics and writing are so clever...Yay for you)

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    1. I feel your pain about clutter.

      And thanks for your kind words about my writing! It always means a lot coming from another writer. :)

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  16. Your clutter's cousins live at my house, did you know? Open any drawer or cabinet in my kitchen and you'll see em!

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    Replies
    1. I am finding out that my clutter has QUITE the extended family.

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