MOVarazzi

Monday, May 14, 2012

772. Party Time

When I was in my mid-20’s, single, living in California, and working for the airlines, a strange phenomenon started happening:  I got invited to parties. 

Please realize that I had been to plenty of parties when I was in college, but I was secretly pleased that I was being asked to attend real, true, adult parties.  Parties where wine would be poured from a bottle not a box.  Parties where the goal was not to pass out at the end nor hook up with someone you’d be mortified to see in your Politics and Government class the next morning.  Instead, this was a world of grown-up parties involving people who would most likely discuss jobs, home improvement, and expensive vacations, not which professor gave an easy “A.” 

Real parties.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into a Mary Kay party.  This was my rude introduction into the world of Sales Pitches Masquerading As Parties.  My neighbor, Laura, had invited me to her “little get-together, just the gals,” and I had fallen for it.  I should have been clued in when I saw her glass coffee table covered with a variety of cosmetics and make-up mirrors instead of a variety of wine and cheese. 


Laura’s friend Christine was selling the make-up.  I was not interested in buying anything, I was just interested in socializing.  I made a hasty retreat (making up a flimsy excuse about having to work an early flight the next morning) after a barely acceptable 20 minutes.    
Next, my cousin Kelsey invited me to a “Home Organization” party, which was catnip to this Virgo. Turns out she was just selling Tupperware.  




Some months later, one of my flight attendant friends, LaRhonda, invited me to a “Modern Romance Party.”  She was selling candles and lingerie.  I felt pressured into buying two candles (“Peppermint and “Lilac Sunset”).  This cost me $80.    

Our mutual acquaintance, Heidi, called me up a few days later to make fun of LaRhonda’s candles.  “What a lame party!” she squealed.  Then, “Hey, uh, MOV, what are you doing next Friday night?  Did I tell you I’m a freelance representative for Pampered Chef?” 


At the Pampered Chef party, my friend Jessica cornered me.  “I can’t believe we fell for this crap, can you?”  She waved a $50 cheese grater in my face.  “I thought Heidi was throwing a real party!  Ugh, let’s sneak out and get a drink.” 


Which is exactly what we did.  We hopped in Jessica’s car and went to my favorite dive bar where we spent the remainder of the night laughing, playing darts, drinking, and flirting with cute boys.  I had never spent that much time with Jessica before that night, but I came to the conclusion that she was a lot of fun.  She told great jokes.  She was sharp as a whip.  I made a mental note to try to meet up for lunch with her the following week. 


It was after midnight when we were finally ready to leave the bar. 


THEN IT HAPPENED: 


I set my tip on the counter and I saw Jessica slipping her phone number to an attractive girl (!) she’d just met. 
Now, I am an open-minded person.  I don’t care if you are straight, gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, or Democrat.  Be what you want.  It’s all good.  But I knew that Jessica had a boyfriend.  I was in shock. 

How should I go about approaching this?  Was I under some sort of moral obligation to tell her boyfriend?  Should I confront Jessica on the drive home?  I didn’t know what to do. 

We pulled up to my apartment, and I decided to take the direct approach and ask her what was going on. 


“Jessica, I saw you give that girl your phone number.  Why would you do that?” 


She flashed me her 1000-watt smile and replied, “I invited her to my Silpada silver jewelry party next weekend.  Hey, you should come!” 



MOV

51 comments:

  1. As much as I love tuppleware... I'd politely refuse such parties! In Glasgow, the big thing is "Ann Summer" parties, where a bunch of drunk women try on far-too-tight PVC outfits and take photos of each other pretending to blow sex toys. Then post said photos on Facebook for all their friends and family to see.

    That tuppleware party is looking better by the minute...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yikes! maybe Tupperware is ok.

      Delete
  2. I will not go to a party unless there is something to buy. Or something to steal. Or something damning in their medicine cabinet. When receiving an invitation, when deciding whether or not I will accept, i ask myself: "What is in this for me? And will I be able to fit it into my purse".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are awesome. Remind me to go read all your archives of your blog when I have time. LOVE YOUR HUMOR!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  3. I once spent way too much on overpriced childrens clothing, just in case the neighbor who invited me, even though I was pretty sure she didn't like me much, actually liked me. Yeah. I know. *Sigh* ; )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sad for you. (but did your kids get some great clothes out of it?)

      Delete
  4. UGH!!!! I fell into that trap too. The last one being a mary kay party and after that I said NO MORE! Whenever I get asked to one of those parties I say "I can't...( Then in my head I scream the rest of the sentence)....see going to another party where my hard earned money goes to crapola!"
    Blessings, Joanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have just stepped on the No Party With Stuff To Buy bus. I have a ticket, and I am not budging from my seat.

      Delete
  5. HA! I loved the ending! Like you, I try to avoid "sales" parties as much as possible. I did once host a Pampered Chef party for a friend. One invitee was newly married and set up her kitchen at my party, so I got lots of free stuff. That was pretty awesome. But, in general, I'm too broke to really participate in such things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just want to go to a normal party. I know: I am a terrible selfish person for wanting to chat with my friends without being hit up to buy something.

      Delete
  6. Loved this post! I always feel like, if I was needing any of this stuff, I would simply go buy it. It is not like we are all thinking "oh my god, Thank the lord in heaven that Suzy is having this party on Friday!I have been needing some $200 moisturizer, candles, and an embroidered bag for $100 bucks,and Target was just getting too boring and inexpensive for me" --- Great Post MOV!! So True!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. READING MY MIND, J.R.!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU ME???

      Delete
  7. The parties wouldn't be so bad if there was less selling and more drinking. AND if the products weren't so ridiculously overpriced! It sucks walking out of a sucker-party $50 poorer, 50x more in need of a drink only to receive a few piddly items several weeks later.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ugggggh. Those parties can be so awkward! What really baffles me is that I make sure all my friends (and all the people within a 50-mile radius of me) know how broke I am. I love to joke, whine, complain, and write about my broke-ness. Yet they STILL invite me to their stuff-selling parties!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. maybe you are the token poor person?

      Delete
  9. Last time I went to a sales-pitch party I won the door prize - a box of tea candles. I think the first time we used them was when the power went out. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL Great post! I hate those parties. I'll never set foot in one again--I don't care how good the friend throwing it is. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. LOL I call the adult parties a conspiracy. They get me to buy stuff I really don't need and are over priced.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. exactly. Now, if they were "winery" parties and got me to buy cases of wine, well, maybe I could live with the over-priced part..........

      maybe I should start my own "Tuscan Party" business: a wine tasting venue and then you buy the wine????

      who is with me?

      Delete
  12. I tried selling tupperware once, but felt like a fool standing there begging people to come to "parties" to buy orange and green junk. I lasted only a few weeks and aggravated a few people in the process I am sure.

    They are not actually parties, but mobile selling units. I have never sang or danced at one yet. But, I would...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would like to read a crack you whip post about you selling tupperware!!!!!!!!!!!!

      YOU ROCK!

      Delete
  13. Hysterical. I was duped by the "phone number" thing. You sucked me right in. Love this story. Hate those kind of parties, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! that was a fun way for me to end this story and do a little punch. :) glad you liked it, Gina!

      Delete
  14. Oh my gosh... I hate those parties. They're always given by friends and then I feel TOTALLY OBLIGATED to spend $50!!

    Jo
    In Which We Start Anew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that is the whole thing: it is your friends and you want to be a good friend and be supportive. So you feel obligated, and stuck. :(

      Delete
  15. This is a clear reminder that being anti-social is the way to go!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. If you ever get invited to a lingerie party, be sure to invite me along.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://mommypluscoffee.blogspot.com/2012/05/mommies-are-actually-superheros.html

      Forgot to attach my blog link :)

      Delete
    2. Ok, my computer and I are obviously having disagreements. I didn't mean to remove my comment. Anyway, I was very angry to discover that I had been invited to a Pampered Chef party masquerading as a bridal shower. The rep gave us her sales pitch, showed us a very brief list of what the bride would like, but was primarily asking for credit cards and amounts so that the bride could order what she liked. I was horrified and annoyed that I had been sucked in. Needless to say I screen all invites much more closely now :)

      Delete
    3. hi Heidi, I think you and I have the same computer.

      and yes, I screen my invites now too..........

      Delete
  18. Hate these things. HATE them. And I tell people. LOUDLY. It's worked wonders in getting me bumped off the invite list (and a few Christmas card lists as well). Eh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Marianne! glad we agree on this! :)

      Delete
  19. Somehow I have always missed these things except for a couple when I knew no better just out of high school. I have no problem with saying no when someone only wants me over for my money. Ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you are smart. I will learn from you. :)

      Delete
  20. Ha! Great post! I was invited to a sex toy party. A SEX TOY PARTY. I politely declined. I do not want to fondle dildos in a room full of people. I do not need to know what is going on with Bob and Janice down the street during naughty time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yowza! is this a twitter post?

      Delete
  21. I'm a Democrat but I still ride the fence on a lot of issues. Thank you for still accepting me. BFF.

    ~the G is silent

    http://kimpugliano.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will always accept you.......... as long as you don't sell me Mary Kay.

      Delete
  22. OK, here's a viewpoint from the other side. I sold lingerie at parties. I HATED it. I always had to make sure I had enough sizes in stock. Then the company kept changing its line so I had to buy more product in all different sizes. It was a racket!

    Then I would book parties. Sometimes people would show up, most times they wouldn't so it was a waste of my time and money. But I learned and I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!

    I lost more money than I ever made and eventually a lot of brand new EXPENSIVE lingerie ended up going to friends or the Goodwill.

    Nasty business.

    Susan
    http://travelbug-susan.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. glad you have crossed over to the other side!!!

      Delete
  23. I hate the pressure of going to those parties and then having to buy something which even though you look for the cheapest item, still is expensive. I was invited to a Mary Kay party and blurted out to the hostess, "I hate Mary Kay," then was so "racked with guilt" (I know, a cliche), that I ended up buying some lotion.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Great post! Love it. You are right, I think we are soul sisters. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yep. I have a lot of "friends" who invite me to their "parties" too. I am very good at saying, "No thank you. I won't be able to come." But that's not Really what I want to say.

    ReplyDelete

When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)