MOVarazzi

Saturday, April 28, 2012

758. Mom Friends

You are a mom. You want to hang out with people who possess an attention span longer than three minutes and who don’t consider Chef Boyardee a “gourmet” food. You are yearning to discuss a movie that doesn’t star a talking dog or Elmo or have Disney in the title, and you want to do this while drinking wine from a real glass, not a blue Batman plastic tumbler. You ultimately decide to seek out other moms as your friends du jour, your refuge, for the simple reason that they are readily accessible.

Without warning, you are about to experience what every woman endures when she dips her toes in the icy waters of the wading pool of mommy friendships: The Venn Diagram of Mom Friends.

You might adore your next door neighbor, a mom of three. You might laugh at her clever stories and realize that you could spend six hours with her and it would seem like two minutes. Why, oh, why, must she have bratty kids? Kids that race in the room and kick you for no reason and then cry when you tell them no?

Or … what about the mom whom you despise, but her kids are incredibly well-mannered and completely adorable little angels? The disconnect rattles your brain. You loathe her and her condescending attitude, but you are enamored with her outgoing, super-smart children.
Then there are the moms you hate with the kids you hate. It’s easy to cross them off your list.

Every once in a while, you win the cosmic lottery of mommy relationships. You find yourself joking over coffee with a mommy who is the elusive combo: great mom with great kids. Surprisingly, your kids even love her kids. You cannot believe your luck. You tell her your innermost secrets in confidence, because you trust your perfect new mom friend, and then she has to go and say those six bitchy words that ruin it all forever: “Did I tell you we’re moving?”
MOV

26 comments:

  1. Oh the bratty kids!!! One of my very close friends has a kid from H#ll and for years I have endured but recently decided NO more. I just can't deal. Great post!
    Blessings, Joanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joanne,

      Thank you for writing. I am so glad you can relate. I have a dear friend and her child is so very serious all the time. But my friend is a bubbly drink of sunshine. Then in walks the morbid teen.........

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. TMW Hickman,

      Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you like the post!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  3. Oh man. My son has a friend from school. His mom invited my son over for a playdate. When I met her, I thought she was awesome and thought I had found the perfect arrangement. She invited my son over a couple more time, and I got to chat with her and it was great. Then I invited her son over for a playdate . . . and he was an absolute monster!! It wsa so very sad, because I never realized until then, and I had to try to avoid any more playdates and come up with excuses why we couldn't hang out.

    I have to take my son to Chuck E Cheese tomorrow for this kid's birthday party. Wish me luck. It's gonna be brutal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty,

      If you are reading this, it means you survived Chuck E. Cheese. Brave woman!!!!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  4. LOL! I'm not a mum yet (and don't plan on being for a while) but I shall refer back to this diagram when needed ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aysh,

      Frame it, laminate it, whatever you need to do.

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  5. I'm not a mum.
    Can never be one.
    Because I'm a boy,
    da-di-diddly-dee-dum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kbbuddingwriter,

      I'll bet dads feel the same way. Or maybe they just bond over sports so it doesn't matter.......

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  6. This is the best thing I have ever had anyone actually say/write when we ALL have had this experience especially raising kids it is inevitable not to but so many would never admit it incase it was used against us in the mommy circles or the dreaded assuming it is about the wrong group of kids or moms??? thank you for your raw honesty bless you bless you bless you, you just made 80 % of moms feel better about those exact feelings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Janice,

      Your warm response really made me smile. Thank you so much for "getting" it. :) People expect moms to be perfect and happy and love everyone (the Mom Gene), but it ain't so.......

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  7. Nothing is ever perfect.....well, except for this post, that is! How true to life! ":)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ray (can I call you Ray? Your name is long),

      Thank you! Your comments really brighten my day. :)

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  8. We also survived the circle where all was perfect, until the opposite sex kids got cootie-conscious as they got older.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrea,

      Oh, you have to go and throw the opposite sex kids into the mix! I had not even thought of that..........

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  9. Love the diagram! I'm lucky to have found the great mom with the great kids. Hopefully, she won't be moving away any time soon. (Crossing my fingers that I didn't just jinx myself.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dana,

      Go out and buy yourself a nice bottle of wine to celebrate your good fortune. Better yet, buy two and give one to your lucky friend. :) Then you can toast together that you won the "cosmic lottery." Cheers!!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  10. Still trying to win that mommy cosmic lottery!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stacy,

      You and me both!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  11. I've had the good fortune to make a wonderful mum friend, with a kid I think is swell... problem is, our kids don't really want to play with each other. :\

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Skwishee,

      Ha! It's always something. Maybe I need to amend the diagram?

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  12. Luckily my son is all grown up so we can have friends that are independent of each other, but I do remember one of his friends from school whose mother was always trying to be my friend even though I couldn't stand her.

    He would get invited to their house and when I dropped him off I always had an excuse ready as to why I couldn't stay too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dirty Cowgirl,

      Oh, I get it. Short had a dear friend last year (they moved) and the kid was so precious, smart, lovely, but I could not stand to be in the same room with the mom for longer than 30 seconds. It is a mystery to me that they were related.

      best,
      MOV

      Delete
  13. We've been VERY lucky so far. Our Spidey-senses have helped us avoid some unpleasantness and we've found some really good mom and dad friends and the kids are great! Now, let's hope nobody moves or turns psycho. ;-) Great diagram!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couse,

      Send some of that Spidey-sense my way!!!

      best,
      MOV

      Delete

When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)