MOVarazzi

Monday, March 26, 2012

721. How To Run Your Own Personal Marathon

A few years ago, I started seeing these white oval stickers on peoples’ cars. 

I had no idea what that meant.  26.2?  How much you paid for your car (new)?  The optimal age to be?  How much money you made a year?  a month?  How many pounds you had gained since getting married? 

Finally, I broke down and asked The Husband some time last week:  “What does 26.2 mean?” 

He didn’t hesitate.  “It’s a stock.  A stock in a company called YouFitness dot com.” 
“Oh, okay.  That’s what I thought.  Is it a good stock?  Maybe we should buy some?  It seems kinda popular because I always see the st—”

“Bwahahhahhahahahahahahahaha!”
Once again, I’d been had.  Turns out 26.2 is the distance of a marathon (26 miles and 2 inches).  People who put those stickers on their cars are part of an elite group, a group that says, “I paid $5 for my sticker and it’s ruining the finish on my bumper.” 

I wanted to be part of the elite group.  I wanted a sticker so I could brag to people about something. 
At first I thought about the obvious: 

I showed my design to the Husband. 

“What’s that?” he asked. 
“Duh, it says ‘Book.’  It means I wrote a book.” 

“Wait—what?” 
“You know, my book.  My.  Book.  That.  I.  Wrote.”  I shrugged. 
“So what?” 

“Soooooo, I’m going to have it made into a sticker to put on the car.” 
“I don’t get it.” 

“Like the marathon sticker, silly!  Then people will know I wrote a book!  It’s like this special club, and other authors will drive by me and they’ll wave or maybe they’ll hold up a book and we’ll both know what it means.” 
“It means that you’re kooky.  No one is going to have any idea what it means.  Tell you what, MOV, run a marathon instead.  Then you can put up the sticker.” 

I did not like his plan.  His plan involved running far distances, and perhaps even training in advance.  My plan involved finding a printing service online that would accept American Express.
Right before I clicked the “BUY” button on my “Book” sticker I had spent 25 minutes designing, I had second thoughts.  Perhaps The Husband was right.  Perhaps my message was too obtuse. 

I ordered a different sticker after all, and then I put on my running shoes and went for a run.  It was a long run, much longer than I’m used to.  My legs were really sore afterwards, and I even had to put some ice on them.    
The next day, I got in my car and set the odometer to zero so I could measure the exact distance I had run.  Yep, it was official.    
My new sticker arrived today.  I proudly display it on my car.  When people stop and ask me, “MOV, did you really run that far?”  I solemnly nod, and then I answer,

“That’s right:  I ran 2.62 miles.”  What’s a little decimal point between friends?        

MOV

21 comments:

  1. Ha! I ran a half marathon, and have a 13.1 sticker on my car. I am very proud of it, until I get passed by someone with a 26.2 sticker, at which point I feel like an a-hole.

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    1. I like that: half of 26.2 is 13.1. Then I could do half of that and half of that and half of that until it is so small it is equivalent to me walking across the living room. So it could sorta be the square root of a marathon.

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  2. I haven't run a marathon, or written a book. Can I have a sticker for having *read* some books?

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  3. What about a sticker that expresses, "I just ate the whole GD box of Thin Mints. Again."

    ...Not that I need one. But I bet someone somewhere might.

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  4. Then there are the swim,bike, run triathlon stickers. The only one I'd get would have a laundry basket, mop and frypan!

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    1. I want that one! only no mop, vaccuum instead.

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  5. Hey, 2.62 miles is pretty good!

    And I'd totally put your "Book" sticker on my car, but I haven't even accomplished that yet. So your car should wear it proudly!

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    1. yes, maybe the book sticker is a good idea.......

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  6. I think that I would have skipped the marathon and bought the sticker anyway. No one has to know. If you want to be part of the dang club, I say you can be part of the club. But really, 2.62 IS really good.

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    1. I guess I just really need the extermal validation that only some sort of car sticker can give me......

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  7. I can't drive, but if I had one of these it would only measure the distance between myself and the kettle.

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  8. Great idea. Why put on 26.2 anyway? Its like having a blog with no comments section. You say, "26.2". I say...nothing. "THamks for telling me about one half day in your life person I will never meet."

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  9. Well, here's how out of the loop I am -- I had NO idea what those stickers meant! I am grateful to you for clearing that up for me. I was thinking...is it some radio station that I can't get? is it the frequency to some HAM radio channel? is it the number of times you've been to some magical place where they hand out stickers?

    I applaud you for your 2.62 miles! I think that's great! As I have told you before -- I, emphatically, do NOT run. So, the fact that you ran that far makes you a super woman in my book!

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    1. glad I was not the only one who did not know what the stickers meant.........

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  10. I love it!

    My brother is a runner. Runners don't like Joggers. My brother runs marathons. In the Sacramento Marathon a few years back he come in like 20th. He's fast. But the best thing about it is his attitude. His car license plate says "jogger." He says he like's it when he pulls into the parking lot of a big race and people see his plate. The scoff. And he beats them. He also has a sticker. It says "3.1" a 5K. Runners are snobs. Maybe someday I'll start running. Maybe.

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    1. your brother sounds way cool. I heard Picasso referred to himself as a "painter"-- not artist, painter. Your brother is the Picasso of the running world. Tell him MOV said so. ;)

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  11. I had a 13.1 and a 26.2 sticker on our car. And then we sold the car, along with the stickers. :( So now I just have awful post-race pics that I look at from time to time.

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)