“Taaaaaaaaaall,”
he’ll say in that sing-song kindergarten way that is 10 syllables instead of one, “Do you
know what 88 times 31 is?” Tall ignores
him, while Short clicks in 52 divided by the square root of 90026.

“I know the
answer and you don’t!” he declares triumphantly to no one in particular.

I understand
this need to show others how smart we are, the validation we crave so
desperately. Heck, I wrote an entire
book so I could feel like I accomplished something tangible.

“Short, show
me 49 minus 16, okay?” I prod. He climbs in my lap and presses the keys 16161616.16.

“It’s 61,
Mom!”

He gets his
mad math skillz from me.

MOV
(“Mathematical Original Vectors”)

I share those same skills. My husband does my math for me.

ReplyDeletethis is why I could never be an accountant.......

DeleteI was wondering what MOV stood for.. it all makes sense now...:)

ReplyDeleteHere is my link of what MOV stands for:

Deletehttp://mothersofbrothersblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/304-what-does-mov-stand-for-anyway.html

you will laugh.

Do you remember the good ole days of slide rules? Now, give him one of those, especially a circular one, and the geek fun will reaLLy start to hoppin' and da poppin'.

ReplyDeletehmmmmmmmmmm, this could be the solution to what to get him for Christmas and birthday........

DeleteI totally love this. And I loathe math. My kindergartener is learning subtraction. It confuses me. Her math book, wait I mean math pamphlet, has a roller skate on the cover. And it intimidates me. This post was hilarious, as usual.

ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words about my hilarity (or rather, my son's hilarity). Not sure why a math book would have a roller skate on the front, unless you are figuring out the speed the skates can go, in which case you just took all the fun out of roller skating....

DeleteI also always got the wrong answers, even with a calculator.

ReplyDeleteso glad I am not alone in that.

DeleteTeach him how to write "HELLO" or better yet, "BOOBIES" with the numbers.

ReplyDeleteOr, if you store the second word in memory, you can do both!

DeleteHELLO

BOOBIES

Occasionally that's how I like to greet people.

Your kids are so funny and your book is hilarious...I LOVE it!

Deleteyoungman-- he figured out hello on his own. will wait until some kid on the bus introduces him to spelling other words........

Deleteash-matic--what kind of calculator do you have that has a memory??????

tracie--so glad you like the book! yay!!!

The only thing better than a regular calculator was the kind with the paper and printer. I felt extra fancy using that!

ReplyDeleteoh, yes, paper proof of all my mistakes..........

DeleteI remember playing with an adding machine my grandma had. At that time I thought it was "fun." Now, not so much. Math gives me the wiggins.

ReplyDeletemath is good for some people, alcohol is good for others (oohh, I feel a t-shirt slogan coming on here.....)

Delete