Why I deserve to be in the Top 25:
- Day in, day out, I dream up new topics to amuse you. Sometimes I even write them down.
- I will babysit your kids for you (*this offer valid for a 4-hour sit, not a minute longer. Offer invalid if you have triplets under two years old).
- I am funny.
- I really want to win, just to prove to that mean ol’ 9th grade writing teacher (yes, the same one who asked if English was my second language) that I am a gooder writer than most people.
("My Official Voters")