MOVarazzi

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

621. This Is What Happens When You Surf

So I was surfing around the net the other day looking for something, who knows what. And I stumble upon this little gem: “HELP! My job is posted online!”

(Normally, something like this might send me into a panic, wondering if MY job is also posted online. Lucky for me, I am unemployed. This means I do not have to worry about some boss trying to find a replacement for me while simultaneously figuring out the best way to fire me.)

Can you imagine if you were that poor unsuspecting office worker? There you are, slogging away at your job every day (let’s say you’re an architect) and then one day you notice on an online job site that YOUR same company is actively looking to fill YOUR position that you thought until this day you were doing a pretty good job at! It’s enough to drive one to drink.

I am sipping my (unemployment) wine right now in solidarity with the poor, sad soul who went online trying to seek (legal?) counsel about what he/ she should do under the circumstances. I am not a legal counsel service, but I am a blogger, which is practically the exact same thing. So I will out of the goodness of my heart give out free advice:

Dear Office Worker,

I am so sorry that your job is posted online. But, before you freak out or anything, let’s try to think of a logical reason this may be. Perhaps your boss has SO MUCH work for you, he actually wants to hire a second person and expand the business?

I hear you laughing through the Internet. Okay. In that case, I think the best course of action is to confront your boss, but in a non-confrontational confrontation-type of way. For example, you could say, “Hey Boss, when I was looking online for a better-paying job, I clicked on one that looked appealing and realized it was my same job. What’s up with that?” Then just sit back and watch him squirm. This will probably make him feel so uncomfortable that he will keep you in your job just to ease his guilty conscience. Or not.

Another scenario is you could say to your boss, “Hey Boss, I really love my job. I want to do an even better job at my job, to get better and better myself and better the company, so what is the best or a better way to go about that?”

I hope this helps you. And you can always go get a job at the high-end kitchen store—I hear there’s a vacancy.

MOV

6 comments:

  1. Ha ha - love the suggestions. How awful, how could they go to work knowing that? Ha ha although, knowledge is power which is why the last one could work...

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  2. And maybe that is why I have taken such comfort in having jobs I am pretty sure nobody else would want to apply for. How terrible!

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  3. Hello, awkward confrontation! Call me arrogant, but I check the want ads to see if any of my coworkers' jobs are posted. Never mine though - I'm an exceptional employee (proven by the fact that I'm commenting on your blog instead of writing the company newsletter...)

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  4. julie--glad to make you laugh!

    andrea--you are funny.

    jen palis--but maybe the newletter is about the popularity of blogs? then you are just doing research.......

    shea,lola, and tucker--thanks!

    best,
    MOV

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  5. just unique !

    compliments

    Serge

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)