MOVarazzi

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

610. Drop Out

Apparently, I now have entirely too much time on my hands with Christmas vacation, as I am noticing things I have never noticed before. Things like my Follower count dropping from 182 to 181. Maybe it was completely unintentional and when the former follower realizes the error of his/ her ways, the former follower will follow again immediately if not sooner. In the meantime (and I do mean mean), when that reader hit that “delete selected” button, he deleted a little bit of my soul.

I scavenge around in the recesses of my brain looking for a clue as to why my disgruntled follower (henceforth to be referred to as The One That Got Away, or TOTGA) would leave, and why now? Was it the fact that I recently labeled my followers with a new heading called “MOV’s BFF” and maybe TOTGA thought it was a bit presumptuous on my part that I considered him (it had to be a him, right?) a Best Friend Forever seeing as how we most likely never met? Or was he offended by my recent spate of Christmas blogs, essentially making fun of Santa, Jesus, The Husband’s abs, Christmas cookies, money, plastic surgery, and Amazon? I like to make fun of sacred things.

Maybe it was the new subtitle, something about begging for wine under the guise of “critiquing” it? Perhaps TOTGA didn’t like the fact that I put a link to my new book on the sidebar? (Don’t be scared: the woman in curlers is not me.) Possibly he was put off by my mention of me staying at his new beach house in Hawaii for an undisclosed amount of time, like a big ol’ mooch. It strikes me that it could have been the near-constant referencing of alcohol in the blog (Chardonnay, vodka, vino, Pinot Grigio, Absolut, Bailey’s, Kahlua, Riesling, Sambuca, Godiva liquor, etc.) and the implication that life is no fun without a lovely glass of wine or three. I was not implying that at all; I was outright declaring it.

When I only had a half a dozen followers, it was easy to figure out exactly who it was that dropped me. Whenever that happened, I would merely send my mom a quick email saying “Please follow me, I know you were the one who dropped the blog (again).” Now that my numbers are up in the triple digits, it’s not so easy to discern exactly who dropped me and why. 

I’m sorry, TOTGA. I didn’t mean to drive you away. I won’t really come visit you in Hawaii. And I don’t drink nearly as much as people probably think from reading the blog. Please come back, I miss you terribly (even though I don’t know your name).

MOV
(And my real name is Julie. See! We are practically soul mates!)

8 comments:

  1. P.S. I realized I can follow my own blog, so I am back up to 182. Some might call this cheating, but I don't like that word (I didn't like it in 7th grade, and I don't like it now). I prefer to call it "Finding a creative loophole."

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  2. Dear MOV,

    You followed my blog for a day or two, and then left. Not a word of explanation. Just ... left. And I only have 9 followers, so I know it was you. I'm still hurt.

    I thought of retaliatory leave-taking, but it seemed petty, and I figured you wouldn't notice anyway. Besides, you're kind of funny.

    So don't be too hard on TOTGA. I'm sure he had his reasons. Just like you did.

    Right?

    Sincerely,
    Skwishee

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  3. The one who deleted you...could have been me. I had you in two folders, so just know you haven't really lost a reader.

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  4. Hello! Your post nudged me into becoming a follower! I've been reading and enjoying your blog for quite awhile. I'd be honored to be on your list of BFF's!

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  5. Skwishee-- check your followers now. I am number 10. And thank you for saying I am kind of funny. The Husband says that every once in a while, but then has to go and add "looking."

    Anonymous-- I feel much better now. Does this mean you read me twice as much?

    Delma--welcome! And I am honored you're here!

    best,
    MOV

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  6. You're back! I'll try and be funnier. I won't let you down, I swear! But if I do, don't leave me, okay? Because, well, I only have ten followers.

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  7. I have no idea how to figure out who follows me and I don't care. MOV, love you, where the heck is the book signing?

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  8. patty--the book signing is in the washington dc area! I will post all the details on Jan 1. I hope a few of my readers live near DC!!!!

    best,
    MOV

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)