MOVarazzi

Monday, November 28, 2011

588. Mom's Had A Rough Day

I have a very exciting announcement (drum roll please): I wrote a book. It was just released a few days ago. The title is “Mom’s Had A Rough Day” and it is available for purchase now on Amazon. It is an oversized, 240-page paperback with a slick cover, and it retails for $15. I am very, very proud of it.

MOV's book (on Amazon)

The book is a compilation of my favorite and funniest blog posts from the past year and a half. The book has a nice structure, and the essays are organized into a cohesive order that makes sense. The essays are polished and edited from how they first appeared in my blog.

I spent several months shopping my book proposal around to various agents and publishers in New York, to no avail. I became intimately acquainted with email rejection letters and their warm and fuzzy wording (“Thank you for your submission, but we regret to inform you that your project is not right for us. It might be right for someone else, but please do not ever contact us again.”). Then, being the obstinate person that I am, I said, “Ha! I don’t need them!” The Husband, being the realist that he is, said, “Uh, Hon? You kinda do need them. We don’t have any sort of printing press or anything, and I am not moving the canoe out of the garage to accommodate one you buy off Craig’s List.”

I was used to naysaying (see above: agents and publishers), so I didn’t let it get to me. Instead, I did what I always do when obstacles present themselves: poured myself a glass of wine and typed in “Google.”

Turns out, Amazon has a wonderful and affordable self-publishing program based in the USA called Create Space. I clicked the magic “select” key, and within minutes some hunky guy named Travis was on the phone with me explaining the services I’d just bought and how to submit my book.

Travis had a thick Southern drawl. “It’s already written, right? I mean, you’re ready to go?”

“Sure! I have a blog!” I squealed naively, as if a blog and book are exactly the same thing. “The essays are all written. I’ll give you the website.” I’m sure that Travis had never dealt with someone as organized as myself.

“Umm, Miss MOV, we can’t just copy and paste it in from your blog. You need to submit your manuscript in book form, with chapters and everything.”

I was getting the feeling that Travis was not going to be my new best friend, and in fact, might actually be in cahoots with The Husband.

I took lengthy and detailed notes on what Travis told me (“Format it”) and got right to work. My self-imposed deadline was to have the book available to sell by Christmas. Queen Virgo made sure that happened.

Click Amazon to be magically transported to Amazon, then type in “Mom’s Had A Rough Day” to read the description and buy my book. (As an added bonus, you finally get to find out my real name—my birth certificate doesn’t actually read “MOV”). I only need to sell 160 copies to break even on my initial investment. The books make wonderful Christmas presents, or doorstops for when you’re carrying in heavy groceries. Buy one for yourself, and maybe a couple extra for everyone you ever met.

Thank you for your support! I am excited to see what you think.

MOV

P.S. A book signing/ book launch party is scheduled for January 21 at a bookstore near me. I will announce details as we get closer, in case you happen to live in my area and want to attend. There might be cookies there.

22 comments:

  1. congratulations! so excited for you and to start (re-)reading!

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  2. You are amazing! Congratulations!

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  3. WOW! I'm so impressed! (And a little jealous)
    Congratulations!!!!

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  4. OMG. Congrats.
    (Your name is Julie? Seriously? But that's my mom's name. OH MY GOD, ARE YOU MY MOM IN DISGUISE????)

    Sadly I cannot review it as I have not bought a product from Amazon. But I rated YOUR review highly. Same thing, right?
    I'm working on a book myself, but it's going to take eons to barf out- it's an original writing, a real book, "Freedom's Flame". Think Harry Potter + Inheritance Cycle + Twilight (not in the romance way) + legend of Romulus and Remus.
    -Motaki, Aspiring Falconer

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  5. And why did you delete the "Stupid" post? I made the best comment ever on it.
    -Motaki, Aspiring Falconer

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  6. MOV,

    Just bought 2 copies for friends, and one for myself. Way to go!!!

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  7. Go, MOV, go! As much as your Virgotude might make you bananas some days, it's what got you to this point. Congratulations on your book and may you sell enough copies to give up working at the high end kitchen store.

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  8. Eeee! Congratulations! And also... how did you manage to post about this the very day I told my family I would email them my wishlist? This is definitely going at the top. :)

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  9. I bow before you. You're on your way!! Mar

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  10. WOAW, you can really be proud of yourself!
    I just ordered mine, but it won't be here until december 24.
    As far as I'm concerned you're still MOV to me.

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  11. Congrats! This is so exciting! I can't wait to find out your real name...

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  12. very cool Queen Virgo!! Very cool indeed!

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  13. How very exciting! Heartiest congratulations!!!

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  14. That is super fantastic! Hooray for you!!!!

    I would also like to thankyouverymuch for giving some insight into how you got from point a to point b! I had no idea where or how to start, and now I do!

    Best of luck!

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  15. OMG a blogger who can actually write, has a book! Oh the wonder of the thing. I musts need go purchase this awe inspiring thing. I am half convinced that so called editors at publishing houses have no idea how to read. And if it does not contain angst filled teens or vampires, you can just forget about it. So even though you had to self-publish, GOOD FOR YOU. :)

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  16. megan, kelly, lily, second city slicker, taki, amy, kay, terri, marianne, Véronique, girl in THE mountain town, jennie, couse, andrea, kait,

    THANK YOU and a big hug to all my wonderful cyber-pals! I appreciate you more than you know. I am absolutely humbled that several of you are such talented writers yourselves, and yet you take time to read my essays. Writing this blog (which will continue!) has been so gratifying with your constant support and encouragement. I love your comments, and I love that you keep coming back to see what I am writing. Thank you for all the positive energy, and I hope to see some of you at the book party in January!

    very best,
    MOV

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  17. I ordered and can't wait to give you a raving review! So excited for you, and excited for myself to find out your real name. hahaha!

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  18. Mary,

    Another waaaaaay talented writer in my corner! Thank you for your support, 'cause really, how am I gonna buy you the Kate Spade bag or the baby llama puppy if I don't sell a few copies of my book? (And my real name is Mary. Okay, not really. But how funny if it was!)

    best,
    MOV

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  19. Sadly, I can't come meet you. However, I can be your BitchofaRecordKeeper and say that Book Publishing does NOT, under any circumstance, excuse you from BlogWriting.

    But you can bask in your euphoria a bit longer. Come Dec. 1st, though, I'm going to smash you like a... water mist from a hose hitting BabyTall.
    (http://mothersofbrothersblog.blogspot.com/2011/07/470-fun-games-to-play-with-baby.html), if you forgot, if you didn't leave that one in your book I'll cry)

    Best,
    -Motaki, Aspiring Falconer and BitchOfARecordKeeper

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  20. WOW! Congratulations! I'll set up a couple of my peeps. And MOV/your real name...so fun. My lazy Aquarian self is twitching a bit. ;-) When I hear you on NPR I'll say I knew her when...

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)