MOVarazzi

Thursday, October 27, 2011

554. You Won't Write About This

So talk turns, as often does, to my blog. Scenario in my head: “I read your blog, and you are, like, frickin’ brilliant. How do you do it, day after day after day, the wow-factor you possess, and the high caliber of writing? You are a genius, and everything you write is yet another example of your literary prowess.  The agents and publishers must be beating down your door to get you to sign with them!” Reality check: “You write a blog?” (unstifled yawn, accompanied by severe follow-up yawn) “Uh, oh geesh, it’s time for me to schedule my annual PAP smear, gotta run. Maybe we can catch up never?”

A person at the New Better-Paying Top-Secret Job corners me.

“I have very important and influential stuff for you to do, this could directly further your career and help you in general, especially since you broke (insert name of ultra-expensive specialized equipment here) recently.  It would be your opportunity to redeem yourself.  Are you interested, Duchess MOV? Because you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BLOG ABOUT THIS.”

What is his problem, and how does he even know I have a blog in the first place?

Then he goes on to tell me all about the scope of this project I can be in charge of, and how I will most likely get a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge raise if I do it, and how the last person could not handle the pressure of it and was ultimately fired.

I feel like saying: NO.

But I say YES. Yes I will do it, and no (maybe?) I will not blog about it.  Promise. 

(It’s okay, Co-Worker, no one reads my blog anyway.)

MOV

11 comments:

  1. I'm laughing out loud at that first paragraph. There has never been a truer word written.

    As to the rest, I agree with Marianne, I'm scared...and it's not even happening to me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm...that scenario sounds very familiar. In fact, I was just pondering yesterday if my response to "what do you you?" could be "I write"---will there be enough fascination with that one statement to carry us long past any chance of the person asking what exactly I write (general drivelly kinds of things), or where (Um, my house).

    Sounds like you are about to be promoted from Dutchess! What does came after that? Supreme Overlord? Good luck! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds important! I think you're really a spy. All this kitchen store, medical office, newer better-paying job stuff is a cover. Just remember to keep your head down and wear nonreflective clothing! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  4. marianne, you should be a LOT scared.

    lily, only a fellow writer/ blogger would understand. I am glad you know how I feel. :)

    andrea, I cannot wait to be Supreme Overlord (that is, if you yourself are indeed stepping down from the throne like King Edward to give me the coveted title ...)

    couse, you found me out. I am a spy. And not a very good one.

    best,
    MOV

    ReplyDelete
  5. Listen, as long as WE know we're brilliant, that's all that matters, right? I think saying that is the literary equivilant of 'She has a great personality.' Good luck, MOV.

    ReplyDelete
  6. kelly, "great personality" = story of my life. Sigh.

    best,
    MOV
    (P.S. people have been known to say about me: "she does sorta grow on you after a while")

    ReplyDelete
  7. Some people I know don't even KNOW what a blog is, which I think is a travesty. Blogs are better than anything on TV. With the exception of RHOBH!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Meg, are you watching this trash, with the 25K sunglasses with diamonds?!? I did watch the first (original) season, but I don't think I can stomach camille for a second round......

    best,
    MOV
    P.S. Short tells random strangers that I write a blog. But he says with a tone and demeanor like it is some deep dark embarassing secret, like "Mommy flosses her teeth at the table-- I know! Gross!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Every time I read about your super top-secret job, I get more intrigue: I've said this before, I know.

    Now I finally have it: you are an aviation technician for those people that make Batman's doo-dads. That thing you broke? It was the Bat Mobile, wasn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  10. kay, how did you know? the coolest part of the job is: I get to dress up as Bat Girl. Or Cat Woman. Whichever. Depending on what I prefer for that day.

    best,
    MOV

    ReplyDelete

When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)