MOVarazzi

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

553. Traffic!

When I am driving with my five-year-old in the backseat and we approach an intersection with maybe one other car in it, he screeches out, “Mom!  Look out!  Traffic!”  This is a word that typically conjures up images of multiple cars and trucks backed up on the freeway while the driver is frantically rustling around for maps and alternate routes while being late to other people’s weddings. This is an ugly word that should be avoided at all costs, unless you are a

BLOG WRITER. In that case, you obsessively check your blog 20 times a minute to see what the traffic sources are. Traffic, traffic, I love traffic!

Imagine my surprise when I discover that a site called (I’m not making this up) “Jobs For Smart People” has been referring readers to me.

Smart people? Smart people are looking for my blog? Or are they looking for jobs on my blog (because then in that case, they are not very smart after all; the only job available here is Chief Complainer Writer, and that one is pretty much taken).

I don’t get it. Maybe they are saying that I need to be looking for another job online, or that I am smart?

Who knows. But it sure beats all the emails I was getting from the halitosis people.

MOV

9 comments:

  1. Here more traffic for you, and I'm coming all by myself, nobody lured me here, and I am smart, ah ah ah (I wanted to write that soooo bad!). I think originally I came through Rechelle's blog, and I am still not recovered from reading both of your blogs. You go girls!

    I am sorry I can't join your fan club, I am not a Google believer. But I read your blog faithfully and I try to comment as often as I can. I hope your halitosis is getting better now that you got help from the Intrenets.

    Au plaisir de vous lire madame MOV,
    Véronique

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  2. Your little guy in the back seat making note of the "traffic" makes me think of the show "Keeping Up Appearances" in which Hyacinth Bucket (she pronounces it Bouquet) badgers her husband in every way, including driving. "Mind the pedestrian!" "What pedestrian? You mean the one on the sidewalk 2 blocks away?" (You get the gist of it, anyway.)

    I don't know who these smart people are who are coming to your blog, but if they are indeed smart, they will surely stick around!

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  3. So if I start here,and go to the Jobs for Smart People site for help with a job, it will send me back here? I might as well just make myself comfy and stay here!You got any snacks?

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  4. Your son's outbursts remind me of something I used to do as a kid. I happened to be in the car when my mom got a speeding ticket on a road very close to our house. From that point on, whenever we drove down that road (almost daily), the second we passed the speed limit sign I would scream at the top of my lungs, "SPEED LIMIT 40!" I am still grateful to her for not chucking me out of the car.

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  5. Véronique, thank you for your kind words and your viral support (wait-- that didn't sound quite right). You are making me wish I spoke German so I could interpret what "Au plaisir de vous lire madame" means. I am quite fluent in Pig Latin, so I think it means, "A pleasure to take you money, damn you!" But the joke is on you, dear Véronique, I don't have any lire or euros or even dollars. Ha!

    couse, you are my favorite new reader. I might even have to do a special writing feature called "Favorite New Reader of the Week" and it would go to anyone who could stomach reading four of my blog posts in a row. You win! Your prize: you get to read two more blogs posts! You're welcome (I am a giver like that).

    andrea, of course I have snacks. I bake the best chocolate-chip cookies on the planet (*moment of reverance and feeling sorry for other planets that do not have MOV's Cookie Greatness*). The secrets are (oh, Lord, are you turning this into a baking blog now?): butter MUST be room temperature, flour MUST be stirred in by hand-- no mixer for that step--, and finally I add a cup of Rice Krispies cereal for some nice extra crunchiness. And undercook the cookies by about a minute. Try it! You're welcome.

    Haley, oh what a fun passenger you must have been. I remember a time I was driving with my college boyfriend and he was speeding. I said, "You know cops sit on this road?" Literally 30 seconds later, we were pulled over. I felt a strange combo of bad for my boyfriend but also perversely happy and smug (uh, schadenfreude much?) because he did not listen to me. Can't remember if he broke up with me that same night or a few days later.....

    best,
    Senator MOV

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  6. Gee, I'm humbled. Thanks, MOV. I guess maybe now is a good time to tell you that I've just finished reading your archives up through April. Obviously I have more to go, but it's a real treat for me! I try to limit myself to just one month's posts per day.

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  7. couse, thru APRIL?!? My God, you are my "Favorite New Reader of the Decade"! Maybe even century. So, then I can ask you: do you sense a progression with my writing? was there a moment in time (Feb 12) when *SHAZAM* a switch was flipped and all of a sudden I was funny? (or are we all still waiting for that moment?) so you know all about my sister Oakley and you know tons about the high-end kitchen store and also my addiction to chocolate and home decor magazines and Top Chef. wow. I think you might know more about me than The Husband does! thank you for reading!!!

    very best (regular best did not seem good enough for "Favorite Reader of the Millenium"),
    MOV

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  8. Well, I don't think there is a SHAZAM moment. I really enjoy all your posts. While I may not laugh out loud each and every time, I'm always left thinking about something (but I promise, I do laugh!). (The post about drugs, of course, is not the least bit funny.) Your posts about motherhood are particularly poignant. Of course, I also really enjoy the silliness that is life with young children. So, let me keep reading and I'll see if I can come up with something more definitive. I'm certainly no literary critic, mind you. I just know what I like. I used to read another "more famous" blogger and found that it did not really appeal to me. I needed more substance, more meat to chew on. What I enjoy here is your wit, coupled with a sense of the reality and struggles of life. We adore our children, yet they can make us nuts. We love our husbands, but they do goofy things. Life as a mom is the best thing that ever happened, but it is exhausting. That's real. That's relatable. Keep up the good work!

    And, thank you for the lovely accolade. ;-)

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  9. you made my day, couse. again.

    best,
    MOV

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When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)