Actual email I sent to an actual friend:
Happy Birthday! I have it in my head that it is October 18, but now I am realizing that my head is not such a safe spot to store things, important things like when your birthday is. Was it yesterday? Is it tomorrow? I hope it was happy, or I hope it will be happy, or I hope it is happy right now this minute.
I owe you a birthday lunch (unless it turns out your birthday is not until November, in which case, I will send you this same email again in about four weeks).
Your devoted friend (the one with the memory like a steel vault, well, a steel vault where the key has been misplaced),
I hope I sent it to the right person this time.