Everything in my house lives next to the front door. Maybe that is so it can all make a quick get-away at any given moment. One million-gazillion partnerless shoes (maybe more)? Front door. Tote bags full of useless junk that I plan to keep for no good reason? Entry way. More useless junk waiting for me to call the Purple Salvation Veterans Will to come get it? Foyer. Sweaters/ coats/ swim gear/ mittens/ reflective vest for running (still in package)? Front hall closet. Random boxes? You guessed it. It’s like they all want to wave hello to the UPS guy or the mailman or any neighbor that might drop by. Look at us, look at us—we are the Front Door Dwellers!
It is futile to put the Front Door Dwellers (FDD) elsewhere in the house (for example, where they belong). Like their frisky cousin (ADD), they have a very short attention span and will simply drift back to the front when the opportunity arises. Cold day? Tall getting a scarf out of his very own bedroom closet, perhaps? Changed his mind last minute because classic navy and green plaid wool scarf in question is “too dorky”? That’s okay! Just plunk that scarf with its (abandoned) friends, the Front Door Dwellers, right by the (you guessed it) front door! It’s cozy and fun there, and remember our motto: the more the merrier!
Extra plastic Target bags? Front door. Reusable fabric bags (initially purchased so as not to be “wasteful” and have to use plastic bags)? Front door! Newspapers, mail, catalogs, magazines, in-going or out-going packages, sporting equipment—please, everyone, join the party!
I find myself complaining to The Husband about the FDD. His response?
“MOV, our last two houses had no front entry whatsoever. You walked right into the living room. When we were shopping for a house, you said you would not even consider a house without a foyer, that it was a deal-breaker. What, exactly, would make you happy?”
As if on cue, the Pod company deposits a giant Pod onto our front lawn, right next to the front door.
“Boys!” I call out. “Put your extra shoes in there!”