So I have lots of imaginary friends. We go to lunch, we email each other, we hang out. And then I ask them for job references when I am applying for jobs. Guess what they do then:
“FYI, MOV: I got a call from that job you applied for today re: the reference check ... I explained that I couldn’t really answer the online questionnaire they sent for previous employers because we’ve never worked together professionally.
So, they took a personal character reference instead, and of course I said you spanked your children regularly, routinely blow off commitments, are perpetually late and extremely disorganized, and that I wasn't even sure how you had managed to keep two children alive. ;)”
Uh, thank you?