Friday, August 19, 2011

490. The Gods of Wine and Chocolate

I know that I have been very very good and somehow paid into my cosmic piggy bank when Target has my favorite type of chocolate in stock. It is called Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate with Marzipan. I think those are the six most beautiful words in the English language (even better than “MOV, we’re giving you a raise!” Well, almost as good.).

Why don’t I get this over with right here and now? Here is the link for the best chocolate of the Universe:  **here** . Click on it, then come back. I’ll wait.

Welcome back. Okay, so this chocolate is divinely magnificent on so many levels. Level One: the price. Ignore that $3.99, that’s a lie; Target, my BFF, sells it for $2.19. That is exactly why they are always sold out. I buy all 20 bars on the shelf.

I put them in the refrigerator when I get home. I have to ration them.

Let’s talk about the goofy name. I guess this would be Level Two of the magnificent levels. Ritter. Who knows what that means. Is it a place in Germany? Maybe. I would research it if I owned an encyclopedia or a computer or things of that nature, but research equals lots of work.  I personally think of John Ritter from “Three’s Company.” I loved him, I loved that show, I am happy my favorite chocolate is named after him.

Sport. How is chocolate sporty? It’s not. But I feel sporty when I eat it because I read the part on the label where it says clearly, “Sport,” and it makes me very happy. I am sporty just sitting here on my couch and watching re-runs of “Top Chef”! Yay, me! I could be a professional volleyball player tomorrow, and I probably already am in my sleep! That would be Level Three.

Dark Chocolate. Please do not email me saying that milk chocolate is better. You are wrong. So dark chocolate is Level Four of magnificence.

Levels Five through Nine: Marzipan. Which do I like better, sugar or almonds? Wait, how about both? I don’t have to choose!

I hoard my special chocolate. When my beautiful sons, Sugar and Almond, oops, I mean Tall and Short, walk into the kitchen and ask what I am eating and can they have some, I politely hold it up and say, “This is Mommy’s wine-chocolate. Sorry, kids aren’t allowed to have it. It’s against the law.”

Then I shrug. It’s a good thing Short cannot read yet, and it’s a really good thing that Tall believes me when I tell him that “marzipan” is German for Chardonnay.

("Marzipan Or Valrhona")


  1. Living in Ritterland I can´t help it, I have to tell you:
    Ritter is german for knight, just the founder´s name.
    Sport, just because they designed it so it could fit better in a sport's bag (1932).
    Regular chocolate is rectangular, they invented the square. Quadratisch, praktisch, gut!

    I used to do the same with my Oreo's, the kids were not allowed near. But now they sell them here at a normal price so I'm more willing to share.

    A trick I use to make buying expensive treats easier, I compare the price pro kilo to the price of good meat or good cheese, and all of a sudden it's not that expensive anymore. I will only leave that on the shelf if it´s as expensive as lobster..

  2. Véronique,

    I am glad to know the proper details of Ritter. I like that it means knight, because it does swoop in to save me on many occasions!

    I realllllllly like your idea of calculating the cost of something relative to size. Makes me want to buy whole case of Ritter marzipan next time I see it. Possibly tomorrow.


  3. Good luck and bon appétit!


  4. Love that marzipan is German for Chardonnay. Now I can tell my (adult) kids that I love marzipan (which I actually dislike a lot!).

    BTW .... I don't mean to criticize (God knows I would be last person in the world with a right to do that) but you do have a spelling mistrake in your profile.

  5. And PS: I love your blog1

  6. glad you love my blog! thank you! and I appreciate your keen sense of observatory on the typo. glad ytou love my blog!


  7. You are brilliant! I don't have kids, but I think it's critical to save the good chocolate for adults whose fully-developed tastebuds can appreciate how glorious it is.

    Luckily for me, The Electrician's favorite (for some crazy reason) is white chocolate. He won't touch my fancy dark.

    I love checking in to see what you're up to, MOV. Glad we can be sisters in dark chocolate. It's like a church for cool people.

  8. OMG, bluespeckledpup, I totally want to use that as one of my blog post titles now: "a church for cool people." Agh! Love that! what essay can I write that incorporates it??????

    and yes, dark chocolate is the ULTIMATE.



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