It has come to my attention that there are acronyms out there that I may have been misinterpreting. Several of my girlfriends like to text, and therefore they have adopted the lexicon. I receive enigmatic emails from them and then am expected to email right back. Like the swimmer on the swim team who was picked only so there’d be enough bodies to compete, I’m once again struggling to keep up.
Case in point: this lovely gem I received from my friend Coach:
“Hey! Wondering if we can get Darling and Short together for a playdate TOM. IMHO, they have such a good time together! CM. Your house this time? Let’s plan for afternoon. BTW, I read your blog the other night and LMAO. –Coach.”
Yikes. Who is this kid Tom? And if Short and Darling have such a good time together, why does Tom even need to be invited? Is he new to the area? That must be what that other thing means: IMHO (Important: Moved Here in October). Whew—good thing I figured that one out. CM. What the heck is that? Oh: “Complete Migraine”. Of course. That must be why she wants me to take the kids this time (but again, do I have to include that bratty Tom kid?). I guess so, otherwise why would she have written BTW (“Bringing Tom With”). At least I don’t have to pick him up. And that last part about LMAO? Puzzling. I finally conclude that she must mean “Leave Me At Office” because I know she’s been working a ton of hours lately.
When I call her later, she seems confused when I ask her about Tom and if her headache has gotten better. When I explain that I am only referring to her email, she laughs. I’m still not sure why. Is she mocking me?
At least I know she doesn’t have a “girl crush” on me anymore. She has stopped signing her emails LOL: “Lesbian Only Love”. For this, I am grateful.
(“Misinterpreting Others’ Vocabularies”)