Thursday, December 30, 2010

277. New Year's Revolutions

So I just finished reading this great article and the author went on and on about how she never achieves her New Year’s Resolutions because she sets the bar way too high (“eradicate poverty in Third World Countries”, “find a cure for AIDS”) so this year she has decided to put things like “wake up” and “eat breakfast” on her list. Her goal is to make herself feel good every day by saying, “Yep! I just kept another one of my spectacular New Year’s Resolutions today!”

I have the opposite problem. I set the bar way too low (“go through junk mail immediately”) and then by the time December 31st rolls around, all I have to show for it is a clean table in the entry way. Sigh.

I decide this year will be different. I will make a sort of “Hybrid Resolution” list from the author’s ideas combined with my own. For example, “wake up” would now be “wake up and run marathon”. “Eat breakfast” morphs into “eat breakfast at the Eiffel Tower”. Wow—I like this game. How many more can I think up?
  • watch less TV, because I will fly to London and see plays instead
  • clean up cat litter-box daily, because this will be good practice for owning a race horse
  • wash hands frequently, because this is required for surgeons
  • help kids with their homework right after school, because then I’ll have more time to work on my Surgeon Classes
  • save coins in big glass jar, so I can buy an investment condo
  • try not to argue, in front of the Queen of England
  • floss teeth, so I will look great for my modeling contract
  • drink more orange juice (in the South of Spain)
  • hang coat up on hook, so Personal Stylist can assess my clothing needs more accurately and let me know which designer apparel I should buy next
  • drink less coffee, and more tea in Japan while on extended vacation there
  • drink 5 glasses of water every day, in Hawaii
  • take more photos (of George Clooney when he comes over)
  • read newspaper twice per week, so I have more things to talk to the President about
  • remember to take recycling out, as good example when I start my own world-wide green initiative in developing countries
  • keep a journal, so I can reliably quote myself when I go on Oprah
I am really looking forward to 2011.


1 comment:

  1. I like the cat litter one, oh, actually all of them. You are inspiring me to do the same. What would I do without these brilliant thoughts?


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